Another ALS Fundraiser

I said to my best friend last night, if I had to choose between the fundraiser that I did versus the one I just went to that he did, I would have picked his.


And not because I had no responsibility except to show up either - though that was certainly a sexy alluring feeling....


Here's the deal.


His brother has ALS. HIs brother, like him, was or rather is, a brilliant musician.


What I was unaware of, is that his brother, also like himself, was a songwriter.


Wow. Mental Headslap. I should not be surprised and yet I was.


The bar was a small pub. And there was no room. I mean none. All musicians, a total jam session - I was one of the youngest by far. These folks have known each other for 20-30 years and this was a reunion in the name of doing something special and necessary for someone they all love.


I don't know how else to say it. My best friend opened the show. He did 4 tunes starting with one of ours- which I didn't know he had learned..... Considering how things have been going between us lately that spoke to me.


Then the band got started. The music was amazing. The guys playing were incredible, the singing - everything.


This went on all night long. These guys just played and played. They took shifts in and out - but the music continued.


When I left around midnight ( and for those of you who live in other states, bars close at 4 AM here), the place was jumping. Literally.


What happened next surprised me a little bit but not as much as I want to believe. I was home. I was trying LIKE HELL to sleep. I couldn't shut off my mind and how happy I was. I met a lot of really nice people that I have been hearing about for years in some cases. Faces now match up with names. Some I know from Myspace... that kind of thing.


My gutt said something wasn't right though. I stupidly dismissed it.


Sunday, after All county, I met up with some ladies that I know for a birthday brunch for the new bride. she has had a rough road since her wedding in December so her mom threw her a little get together.


We had a lovely brunch. The deal was that when I left there, the plan was to call my best friend so we could get together. I left that message at 5.


Several hours later, I was actually starting to panic as I hadn't heard back. Not wnating to become the lunatic that I was in December, I was fighting the instinct that something was wrong. I left the minimal amount of messages that I could mentally handle, and poured myself a Vodka on the rocks. Finally at 9:45 he picks up the phone and he tells me he did something stupid and was on his way.


Now, come on. stupid???? That could be almost anything!


It turns out, after an altercation at the end of the night, he knocked out the former best friend /husband of his brother's ex girlfriend. I mean literally knocked him out. This is soo unbelievably unlike him. I couldn't believe it. My gutt was telling me something wasn't right. I should have li stened. Nothing happened to him mercifully, but the other guy - not in such good shape. I was surprised at him but this was a very emotional night and week for him and I know how far he can be pushed before reacting.


By the time he arrived here, I had had 2 drinks to steady my nerves. I would love to tell you how much he had but I would be wrong on any guess. This has been such an emotional roller coaster for him and by extension, though different, for me as well.

We talked about a lot of things. He was in some pretty raw shape emotionally, he was feeling badly about me, and his brother and it was all finally coming to a head.

The fundraiser was an overwhelming success by and large. A substantial sum of money was raised and I was really touched at everyone's generosity of both a financial nature and spirit.

We have such a long road back. But after this week I actually have more hope than I have had in the past 8 weeks.

So does he.

The comedian

I went to a fund raiser this evening.

A local Comedy club hosted it for us and I can tell you that I have not laughed so hard in my whole life.

I forgot how much fun stand up can be.

I was particularly entertained by the young lady. She was my age give or take 5. Greek, degree from an ivy league in finance, had the big Wall street job. A younger Nia Vardolos if you will.

I was actually worried that she was going to spin off Nia's comedy. Ethnically speaking, there were similarities, of course, but this woman was no spin off.

She was very funny, very down to earth. Some poor half Greek 20 year old dboy sat right up front and announced his Greekness to her.

She asked to see his immigration card.

Then proceeded to call him "Fake Greek boy" for the rest of night.

She was so funny. Spoke of her family who is horrified that she is single. Stole the coin of good luck that her 5 year old nephew got in the cake on New Years, because she needed the luck more than he did - and graphically explained it to him.

I enjoyed the night. My face and sides hurt from laughing. We made a nice chunk of change. Which is good as we are in the red right now.

I have a dermatologist appointment tomorrow. I need to refill everything more or less. and I want to talk about scars and stretch marks and the redness on my upper lip.

My blood pressure is running low and I like that. I had a potassium deficiency and in less that 5 days I see a difference in my blood presure and I'm not suffering side effects so it clearly is a deficiency.

I am feeling good.

Human and Spiritual Values

After 3 years as the Chairperson of Inter-clubs it was time to give it up.

The job description isn't horribly difficult: to create an inter-club 4 members must visit another club in their district for an entire meeting or event.

We are supposed to have one for every club in the district. We like to make these up at installations as they are blacktie events that start in the beginning of our fiscal year so we can usually get a lot of them out of the way. Also because the district Lt Governer counts as one person of the 4 so we then only need to pull 1 member as the President and Secretary tend to be present at most of these.

After this season is over the first week of November, it gets very difficult for me to personally participate and that makes it hard for me to get people to do it.

I try to make it fun, I steal items from other clubs and ransom them back to their rightful owners. This forces the other club to interclub at one of our events. It's all done in fun. I once took a bell, put a blindfold on it, took a picture and emailed it. What a hoot!

But honestly, I can't do it any more. My schedule is getting more prohibitive rather than less.

So when our president, going into her second term, asked for chairs to be selected, I chose Human and Spiritual Values.

This job description seems to fit what I have been doing of late better:

To implement projects that support spiritual development, provide human companionship and comfort. Projects can encourage interfaith and interdenominational religious activity, such as prayer, but should not support a specific religious sect. Popular projects include layman of the year awards, transportation to religious services, visits to nursing homes and support of grief counseling. Would give the invocation and blessings at Club Functions.

With the exception of the blessings, I do most of these things on an individual contributor level. Chairing a committee for this shouldn't be a problem. The only issue was that the person who did last year is still on the board this year.

I was lucky though, she didn't want it. She wants to do more with children. I just knew it was a sign that I was going to get this committee.

Since I have to chair one thing, this is an easy one for me. And I like doing it.

I never saw such an eager group of folks though. We were clamboring over each other to take committees.

I have really high hopes for this year as a whole. I am also going to be sad because at some point in this year best friend's brother is going to die. His expectancy is low at this point so it's just a matter of time. I'm mentally setting my own expectations here. And preparing for the really hard work in the next 1-3 years after.

Hopefully this will give me some help.

Random items from yesterday

I've taken to titling my posts AFTER I've written them. I'm always afraid that will be the most creative thing about the post.

I spoke at my Kiwanis meeting last night. I hadn't planned on it, but our presdent asked me to give an update on my best friend's brother. One year after our fundraiser, the prognosis is not wonderful. On my way there though, I called to see how his doctor appt went. He didn't go as they rescheduled for next week. He wanted to come over and watch some more movies.

I smiled all the way to the meeting. Really Goofy stuff right?

I crack myself up. I make fun of women who get starry eyed. Or at least I used to. I can't really do that anymore without being somthing of a hypocrite.

***************************************************************************************

I noticed yesterday that my weight was up ever so slightly. I reviewed my eating habits and strategies and gave myself a mental headslap. On Weight watchers, depending on your actual weight, the number of points you are allowed to eat will change. You would have thought that someone who dropped 23 pounds on a program she has been on for 10 years would have remembered that. I have been eating an extra two points every day this week. Resulting in a slight elevation in the overall number. no biggie, It's certainly not a big enough number to make me freak out. It's not yet affecting how my clothes fit, but it needes to be taken care of now. So no pizza, no eating out, no ice cream, minimal alcoholic content. just for a bit.

I'm in an unsupported critical situation at work. Unsupported meaning my management is not supporting it actively. I am doing 100 % of the work and I still don't know if it will go the way I want it too. It's very uncomfortable. I feel in a way that I am beinng set up and on the other hand it could realy make me look good. We'll see.

I"m heading for bed - I am too old for 4AM nights.

The conundrum

This day could not get any stranger in terms of information if it tried.

I heard from my best friend today. As I mentioned in yesterdays post, his brother had another surgical procedure that has put him in tremendous pain, but they brought him home today. Unfortunately, they did outpatient training on one family member ( best friend) and the nursing company will not touch it. I just quietly listened to him as he spoke. He was again respectful and very nice, but I could hear how much effort was going into that. Not due to me, but due to the anger that he is realing with over having nurses who can't help because of red tape and paperwork. This means that he needs to be there all the time.

I asked if there was anything I could do. He asked me if I wanted to be trained to help feed his brother. Feeling positively awful, I had to decline. I can't do that. I couldn't do that with my own dad. I know it's just not a good idea. What if something happened to him? I would never forgive myself. I offered to do anything else, so he asked if I would turn pages for him while his brother reads ( he can't). Now THAT I can do.

He mentioned trying to get over here this weekend to talk. I told him that our issues will survive another week if need be, he needs to get a schedule and plan in place for his brother first.

He told me he canceled his class and his gigs. I was acutely disappointed. This is just another step backwards for him.

I could be wrong on this, but I feel that he is hostage to this situation. A willing one.

Yes, it's not my problem directly, but I feel like it does affect me to a degree. Not because I feel badly about his brother, because I do, and certainly not because I fully understand the draining of your life that this becomes, because I do. But because it's robbing a person I love of their own will to live. I don't mean live as opposed to die. I mean living in a shadow of a life.

All I want to do right now it is hug him and hold him and tell him that he is loved and that he is appreciated even when it is not said, or shown.

And I can't.

I spoke to step mom tonight. It was a perfectly lovely and fun conversation. Given the family connection with this other family, I mentioned the situation. She counceled me the same way that I ended up going. She basically said,

"You are a good person with a huge heart. You would do it out of the goodness that is you. And if something happened, you would never forgive yourself. "

She was right. We talked some more about how the situation is robbing my best friend of his life when she popped out with,

"You know, this is why your dad objected to him in the first place. He hadn't found himself yet and he was already in his 40's. Now he's in his 50's and he has a perfectly legit excuse for why he doesn't need to find himself. He has to fight it and the hardest thing in the world is fighting against your own family. But each day he loses a piece of himself. Eveyone knows how you two feel about each other. Your dad knew. He just wasn't comfortable with it. "

Now, this actually is very interesting. I had heard this from her one other time, but when it's said in anger by her, you can't always tell where the honesty is. So I never paid it mind. She repeated it verbatim tonight in a good secure way, so it has to be true. My dad would never have told me. But he would have told his wife to be sure.

what makes it so interesting is this is exactly what my best friend said to me. He thought very seriously about marrying me and how easy that would be. But he has no future. blah blah blah, I'm not writing the rest of it, you can go back to older posts to see the details on this part.

I just think it's very odd that my dad thought these things ( The two of them liked each other VERY much when I wasn't involved in the equation) and that my best friend echoed those parentaly concerns in our "what do we do now" conversation. ( It's still pending by the way).

I'm on an information overload today. I keep walking around the house in circles. I can't sit still for long. I try to practice and can't. I can't sit through a 30 minute sitcom, I'm tired but can't sleep. Eating, however, isn't a problem. Not excessive but not a problem. I just feel like I am at loose ends.

My poor faithful readers. When I started this blog, it was not supposed to go this way. But then I never intended or expected this whole scenario to happen. I started this blog as a way to write through the episodes of my life in a fair and constructive fashion that would help me learn more about myself and to handle life's curveballs better. This blog has certainly done that. Even in this situation, it really has. I am awed by your support and immeasurably comforted b by your presence in reading. I expect to be repetitive. I expect to be dramatic. I expect to have you ripping your own hair out, yelling "DON'T YOU GET IT YET?", I expect all of that to happen. I am trying to manage it better so that it's not so irritating in print.

On resignation

Resignation comes in so many forms.

The two I had to deal with tonight were of the paper kind.

My director/Vocal Coach turned in his resignation to the group that I sing with. He just completed out his Third year with a performance of the Faure Requiem and Stravinsky Symphony of Psalms.

I will tell you that it's a bad thing as far as I am concerned. Not because he's my vocal coach, he is. Not because he's a fantastic director - he is that too.

But this group has a reputation now. We chew through directors. All the people worth anything are leaving. And we can't pay the money that is needed to attract seasoned, talented music directors willing and wishing to perform Master Works.

It hurts me because my uncle and my dad founded this group. It was their baby. They nurtured it and help it grow until my Uncle retired and turned the baton over to my dad. My dad continued on until his health had declined to a point where he turned the baton over to the woman he had both hired at the school where they taught and mentored her as well. He continued to sing with us until he passed away. Shortly before he died, we were interviewing new directors as the woman declined to continue.

We came across a young man who was a dynamic conductor, he was young, fresh, excited to be a part of the group, wanted to do master works.

We opted out of his contract renewal 1 year later. He was wanting to make is into an A Cappela group and we weren't having that. Not exclusively. Occasionally it's fun - but not an entire program. He was very talented and there is little doubt in my mind that he would have left us to pursue bigger things eventually. Our board just got there first.

So we hire my vocal coach. He is a musical genious and extremely talented director. Why did our board stsart forcing him out? Seriously.... it's an embarassment to me that I belong to such an immature group of adults. They started talking behind his back, polling hte membership, all those childish things that I detest. The bottom line, they didn't like that he wasn't a good administrator.

Now I ask you. If you have a full compliment on the board of directors ( President, Past Pres, VP, treasurer, Secretary, Pormotions, financial committee, Music Library) Why on EARTH should the Music Director need to administer ANYTHING???? He has a board to that crap for him!!!!

Except wiht this board - only 2-3 positions ACTUALLY do any work. our Pres - excellent, even signed on to do another year ar his peril as it turns out. And the poor guy doesn't even know about the resignation yet. Secretary - wondeerful, lovely person, works like a dog gets very little thanks and had to be the sad recipient of the letter. And dlastly, our treasurer. She a different one. She works hard and is very effective, but she is one of the yipey yentas of our group.

So our half functioning board of directors is comprised of the people most willing to do work in a group fo 45 people who do nothing. The people that got voted in still wish to do nothing and find ways to do it.

Our accompanist said it succinctly today. This is like a little club. everyone wants the club to run according to their individual needs and when that fails - they modify and adapt the rules so they can the director out the door.

I'm angry but in a strange position. A friend of mine may apply and I will have to support her if she decides to go for it and of course if she gets it. But as I may have mentioned, she will be fully and duly warned. I will make sure of it.

I'm angry and sad. This group has been around for most of my life. If this board keeps doing this, we will end up with no group. The motivations are that they want to have the original director back and force each subsequent one to succumb to it or have the job threatened. The VP wants full musical control so she can pick the rep and makes sure there are solos for her in there. I really think that if my friend doesn't get the job, I may just be done with this group. My dad would absolutely defend my decisions on this.

So knowing that the resignation was turned in was tough.

Then I turned in mine. It's not as much a resignation so much as decline of offered position. I sent out the decline for the presidency today. I included no reasons or details. I just thanked the committee for considering me a worthwhile choice but I would have to decline. I am not going to cite my step mom as a reason, or my insanely crazy life that I can't manage right now at all or anything like that. I have no intentions on elaborating and I am officially not taking the calls from this committee for a few days and I am certainly not going to my meeting this week.

Someday I may want to be president of some group - but Kiwanis? No. THe choral group? Never.

My poor dad. I'm glad he's gone so as not to put him through this. My uncle is alive though and I pray that he doesn't get wind of this.

I do not know how the whole thing will shape up to be honest. Our secretary is has the resignation letter. I advised her not to announce it at the diner after the performance. I advised and suggested to her that she might be better off waiting for the president to return from his trip on Monday and speak to him first and let him handle it. The president and the director are 20_+ year friends. Perhaps something can be corrected or adjusted. I don't know.

I just don't know.

In the grand scheme of what is happening in my world, I am disgusted by the childish behaviour of a group whose average age is 67 years old. Having not been elected the board a second year in a row ( mercifully I was smart enough not to run again) at my own decision, I don't have to deal with the inner workings. I thank GOD for that. I will demand that I be on the search committee for a new director. that's a sub committee that the director gets to create.

If I remain.

Time will tell.

On Being President

I recieved a call today. One I wasn't happy to get.

My local Kiwanis chapter wants me to be president.

Now I should tell you that they want me to be president so that my step mom WON'T be.

I have made this statement loud and clear from every mountaintop available. I WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT WHILE SHE IS ALIVE AND ACTIVE IN THE CLUB.

Because she was a successful president 3x. And a Lt. Gov for the District. And now PR and training for the state.

Being President requires an immense amount of work, time, effort and money. I have effort. I can't afford the time. I can't afford the finance. I would love the publicity. But I don't want it if I don't earn it.

So here are my list of pro's and con's:

Pros:

• I am good at leadership
• I can hand pick my secretary
• I get a big party in my honor
• Twice
• Lots of good photo ops
• Lots of good ops to do community service
• I get a slush fund of some reasonable amount to use as I see fit
• I have "supposedly" a wonderful support system and can request my board.

Cons:

• I nevver wanted to be president
• If I don't do everything the way step mom did, I am guaranteed to be subject to criticsm by her for the rest of my natural life
• I can't be the president that does everything - and she was
• I don't have the financial means to do the job the right way
• While yes, I have the support system, this group of 75 members only has about 10 that do the work
• That ten can't compensate for a president that can't be there for everything
• It's an enormous time commitment and I work two jobs.
• I have so many stress elements right now that adding to it with this is causing me great anxiety and
• Having guilt tossed at me that the club will fold if I don't step to plate is cruel.
• I don't like the "it's you or HER" attitude either
• If one MORE person calls me to convince me I will shoot them personally.
• I can't eat out that much. It's not good or healthy for me. Seriously I know this is stupid one....lol

As you can see, I have more cons than pros. My gutt says DO NOT DO THIS. Having people rely on me to do it is very hard to deal with.

I am all twisted and tangled here. I am now shelving the topic until Sunday. NO more thinking or discussing it. The answer will show itself on Sunday.

On drinking

OK, here's the deal.

My family has a history of unaddressed alcoholism. Social drinking was de rigeur and most of our parents did it. The Scotch after work to unwind, the wine with dinner, etc.

I still socially drink, but I rarely if ever drink alone and not because of the stigma. I will occasionally have my red wine with a nice meal at home alone, or I will have a glass of wine or the bubbly in my bath at night. But I keep those occasions rare to make them more of a special treat for myself.

But in times of intense stress or release of said stress, I find that if I am out with friends or at a party, I will drink and possibly drink more than I normally would at home in my bath.

Not to get drunk, not my intention because I don't like the loss of control and I hate the next day passionately.

So in light of the positive resolution to my work situation which included a holographic apology from the customer, I went to an event and proceeded to have 3 martini's in four hours.

And forgot to eat.

I paid very dearly too. The hangover wasn't even the worst part - not great, but it wasn't bad because I ate when I got home and I loaded up with fluids So not too terrible, tired but ok.

It's the principle behind the thing. I have open ended items that are makng no head way and I can't force them. So the reality is the job thing sent me all the way down the slippery slope that I was on already. The resolution presented it self late in the day so I was in a much improved mood, but not at the top of slope yet.

That situation requires other people to participate in the resolution and if I force it I am possibly forcing the resolution the wrong way. It's a precarious fall for me really and I don't have a lot of breathing room. What bothers me most about this scenario is that I really don't have the control over it and if I am honest with myself, I have already allowed it to take over too much real estate in my brain. With no realistic end in sight.

So when the situation to have a signature drink at this event came up, I tried one, liked it and went back for another. Never once activating my normal plan which is to alternate the drink with soda or water, which I normally do.

Having paid my dues to the Martini God, in the form of a very very very mild hangover that I recovered from quickly, the problem is me.

I'm being cautious, I'm being careful. But it's not enough. So it's sitting inside and festering.

I'll sort it out, but if I am honest with myself, I am afraid of the resolution.

Stay tuned.

Men that cook and men that eat

today was one of those bad forays into the dark dark world of eating.

Not a lot I could do to control it to the degree that I should, so I just did the best that I could.

I had my lesson this morning, which went well. I had to laugh because I deliberately set up my digital recorder to record my lesson so that there would be no question about the diction on my German songs. we didn't do them this week. Sounded like a great plan though.

From there I went to a diner in town to meet my friends. Those of you paying attentiong to The Contessa's Life Makovers will note that on my absolute yes list for this week was to nurture and take care of the relationships with my friends, so this was an awesome step in that direction.

While we were there catching up - seven of us on a bustling busy Saturday in town, we made our plans for two different get togethers. I will be hosting a Murder Mystery dinner at my home and Chris will be hosting a 70's theme party. We set dates and guest lists and set about catching up and sharing / caring ( code for good gossip not harmful). Lots of fun and good times and I miss that with these guys. Out of 7 of us 5 of us live within a few blocks radious and yet we rarely get together.

The guys ate like birds. I never saw anything like it. Egg white omelettes, ,salads. The woman ate burgers. fries. onion rings.

when did the balance of power shift?

Later that night I get my act together and go to a Kiwanis function called "Men that Cook". We basically find 10-15 men who cook an entree and bring it in to serve. We like men in the community who are doing something civic minded. We had the school superintendent and some local pols and the new bank manager, fire chiefs. policemen, that kinds of thing.

The food they cooked is not suitable for any diet anywhere. So now take the ziti's, lasagnas, chilis, baked mac and cheese and mutilply iy 15 and hope for the best.

NOT HAPPENING.

But it was worth it - we made a huge profit which is all going to scholarships.

My moral for the day is men may cook, but they aren't eating what they are cooking and they are capable losing weight way too fast.

It's just not fair.

More on keeping your kids and YOURSELF safe

I recently recieved this email from a friend and collegue in the Kiwanis club. As a followup to protecting our kids - this information is good for women of all ages to be aware of.

I recently listened to some really wonderful poscast episodes of the Digital Father They were amazingly informative an really provided some insight into protecting our children and how to address certain issues and topics. He nicely does justice to the issues of how to keep your kids informed and safe while allowing them to be kids.

In the spirit of that and in keeping all people safe I am sharing this information. Some we have heard before but there are few things here that I can safely tell you surprised me. I know I've learned something new.



Through a Rapist's Eyes

This is important information for females of ALL ages .

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts :

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle . They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing . They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone , searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8: 30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots . Number two is office parking lots/garages . Number three is public restrooms .

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming .

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question , like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back . Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13 ) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them . If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it;
it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . The writer knows from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there .

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you , grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

Even if some of this is knowledge you already have it bears repeating and please share with your teenagers and young adult women.

As a single woman I have a few more to add.

1. NEVER accept a drink in a bar from a stranger. Its entirely too easy to have someone slip something in your drink and hand it to you. If they are smart on on the money they will introduce themselves and ask you if they can buy you a drink and allow you to order it. Don't be swayed by flattery.

2. Don't leave a bar alone. Have a trusted escort walk you to your vehicle. Make sure you have your cell phone on. Call someone you know as you leave and again when you return home.

That's it for now.
Keep safe!

Miscellaneous Stuff

This is a short post to let you know what's going on and I'll do a more detailed post tomorrow or later.

Tonight is the Installation to the Board of directors for the community service group that I am receiving the award for. The award presentation will be tonight as well. I am also being installed as a director. I am wearing the red dress and black shoes from the wedding as the dress I had ordered is back-ordered. sad. But I am sitting here with rollers in my hair getting ready to go. I am warming up my voice as I am also singing the National Anthem and trying to find a reasonable key which is looking like B Flat at the moment.... not my choice but people tend to join in so I try to make it reasonable. My personal choice for anyone who cares is D major. No one asked - but just in case !

Last night was the my first board meeting with this crew and it went really well - some awesome ideas. This looks to be an awesome year. I'll submit some pics when I get them.

The work out yesterday actually allows me to still move though I feel every movement I make amplified. I will continue because as luck would have it - I feel great. So it blows a little less.

OK Have to run - have to finish some work and get my hair out of rollers, I do look wired for sound!

And the academy award goes to....

Well, not QUITE an acadamy award.

Actually, its called the Brittany and is a new award for the Kiwanis Club. Only 8 in existence.

I am the ninth.

I was awarded this last night, by the president of our own Kiwanis club. To say the least, I was stunned. The award was described and puts a 500 dollar donation to the Pediatric Lyme Disease Fondation in my name and I get a plaque and a medal I think.

I won this for the work I did for my friend with ALS and his family. That Fundraiser that made me so nuts back in July, but was immensely successful. I determined the success rate by how happy the family is and how much we were able to give them that day.

I can't even begin to describe how surprised and happy I am. I will be presented with the goods at our Installation of the board of directors on October 12 - another black tie event with pictures to come!

I am the ninth winner of this award, and that to me is truly amazing. The gentleman who created the award has a special place in my heart so this is doubly meaningful to me.

"I want to the thank the [academy] for this honor. I want to thank my friends & family, the cath family, and all my fellow Kiwanian's who came out to this event to support Al! This award belongs to ALL OF US"

Not bad for an ad hoc speech!