What's wrong with your face?

I swear.

If one more person - stranger or friend - asks me that - I will not be held responsible for my actions.

Are you aware that 1 out of 3 Americans suffer from Eczema to one degree or another? Mine is relatively severe, right now, but generally low to moderate.

I have literally spent 10's of thousands of dollars on over the counter drugs and creams and lotions and tried every medically endorsed treatment known to man.

What astounds me is that with those kinds of numbers out there, people would, in general, be more, oh, I don't know, SENSITIVE?


In the course of one day I had 2 people who live in my building ask me in the following manner:

1. "You're getting a late start - where are you heading? Acupuncture? for pain? Eczema? my brother has that, he uses a salve for the past 5 years that has worked wonders. I'll get you the name.

(Pssst - I lead with the good one - they go downhill from here!)

2. "Are you burned? I mean, did you burn your face? I'm just ASKING! ( My reaction was no - why would you think I was Burned?)

By the time I left my building I was starting to feel frustrated so it should come as no surprise that when I got the grocery store and was reaching for a package of chicken, a mother said to me -"Should you be handling food without gloves?" and then to her child "Don't stare - she can't help it."

I seriously wanted to punch her in the face. And I'm not violent.

So by the time I got to the checkout and the woman behind me said "Did you stay in the steam room too long?" I was, to no one's surprise, less than pleasant in my response. She accused me of rudeness but backed off when I asked her how she would feel if I asked her how far along in her pregnancy she was ( she wasn't).

You see, the old adage of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" no longer prevails. It's sad, but true.

I finally hit rock bottom and told Jon that my biggest fear here is that people will shy away from touching me. THat I will repulse people to the point that I will become a hermit.

He, with tears in his eyes, looked at me and said "I only see a beautiful woman". Of course that sent me to tears. We sat on the couch holding one another for what seemed like hours. He couldn't wash away the day or the pain, but he damn well tried.

The next day, we were meeting a classmate of his who had my dad in school also. I had not met her in person as she lives in Ohio. She was visiting and wanted to have lunch. He beat me to the diner by about 10 minutes ( I was teaching and heading straight there). In that time, he warned her about my skin and the recent emotional strain it's caused me.

Since she and I only have an email relationship until that day, neither one of us knew what the other looked like.

I sat down in the booth next to Jon and she looked at me - after having hugged me - and put her hand over mine and said "I'm sorry you inherited your dad's eczema".

Now THAT was a great response. Because even though she was coached one the situation, she handled it by acknowledging it, being sympathetic, getting it out of the way early and then we relaxed into the meal.

I have never had this take this long to rally and correct. I am having stressful situations set me back and i understand that. I am needing to exercize more but can't because the salt in the sweat causes unbelievable pain. I am going to see if walking the beach will help.

I am doing acupuncture in addition to the Aveeno, Arbonne, Curel, Aquaphor and the mulitude of prescription creams not to mention the Allegra, hydroxyzine and xyzal I take orally. I have a mousse for my scalp and I use a sugar scrub and essential oils in Lavendar. I have 1000 count egyption cotton sheets on the bed and the bedroom temp is cool.

Right now my face is fairly clear. My hands are the worst. my feet too. Not a surpise as circulation wise they are the furthest from my heart.

Honestly. I was blessed that growing up I never knew how disfiguring this was. If I saw someone afflicted I would never DREAM of mentioning it. I never realized that the disfigurement would apply to me, but it does. It was a hard realization to come to.

The worst times are night times. THe minute I start to relax the itching starts. Nothing stops that freight train once it's rolling out of the station. I take a lot of sleep aids and allergy aids, but I get very little sleep. In reality I got from 7-8 hours per night to 2-3 at a time. I eat less because I am in pain. I fidget more because I can't get comfortable. It's really unpleasant.

It is getting better, it's just taking way too much time.

Welcome to my world of eczema.