You see - she has a child in Kindergarten. She is an angel at home and a demon in school. Her twin is a demon at home and an angel in school.
School/demon child has gotten naughty notes sent home to the tune of about 3 a month. Largely for defiance. She tends to do things her way on her time table. In kindergarten - that doesn't really work.
Long and short - on a Friday, my best friend was called and told that her child was in danger of suspension. From Kindergarten. Yes seriously.
Oh did I mention the child has special needs?
The worst of it is the administration and teachers asked the child if she understood what suspension meant. She's 5. It's unconscionable.
So here it is a Friday, my best friend was going to end up worrying her weekend away. We had standing plans for game night, but that was only one evening....
So I told her to get a notebook and as each point in her mind came up, to write it in the notebook and forget about it.
Her meeting was scheduled for Tues. I told her on Monday morning to pull out the notebook and review her "worry list" and make a point by point list of the useful things for this meeting.
I realized tonight that I am weary. Beyond tired - I'm mentally just ... weary.
I am juggling a lot of balls in the air and it's getting harder and harder to keep them all up there.
So I decided to use my personal journal as a "worry list". But I will give you the short list here as an example and maybe it will enable me to let it go so I can sleep.
- I have to go to court on Friday. I have a lot of things to prepare before I go and I have never been to court before in my life.
- Money is tight. 'nuff said
- My family is pressuring me to conform to their expectations of what my relationship should be - without going into a lot of details here, this is making me insane.
- Jon's mom is back on her kick about is psychiatric health - this concerns me. In fact - just lump all of his health in there.
- I am not a strong enough person to tell my father's widow that I simply cannot participate in the garbage dumping, bitch sessions gossippy crap that she calls a conversation or "blowing off steam". I am simply put - weary of the same line of conversation - the oinly thing that changes are the names.
- My skin is doing an up and down thing - good days and bad days and very frustrating
- I am dealing with a parent who has decided to tell me how to teach. I am very upset about this actually. I am told what the kids issues are when arrive to teach, I am told to handle it and when I do, I am told to stop the lecture. It's very frustrating. I am a damn fine teacher so this is really not cool.
Those are my short lists. Writing it down makes me feel like I can let it go. At least till I am ready to deal with it.
