The opposite of the Midas touch

Things here are not going well and you know what they say:

"When it rains it pours"

Well - we had torrentional rain, thunder and lightning ripping through the area along with a tornado in Brooklyn last night.

That's just the actual weather report.

The storms, more commonly referred to as my life, took a different format. My bedroom A/C unit leaked water all over my carpet night before last which required me to mop up a boat load of water and found me drying the carpet with a hair dryer.

I spent last night researching "through the wall sleeve" units. They start at $450.00. I found a nice Sears Kenmore model for $499.00 and my neighbor is going to help me install it.

My best friend called last night. His brother, as usual, doesn't learn. He has managed to thwart the efforts to get him hospice services. This is not terribly unusual though, he had to fall severla times in order to first get the cane, then get the walker anad finally the wheelchair. So this did not come as a surprise to me. Or him. But it is frustrating all the same because it's so unfair to his family. And all the people who help care for him.

Then there is the matter of my car. It feels like a roller coaster ride if you are in the passenger seat. I mentioned it to my best friend last night and he suspects the suspension. That never occurred to me, but then that shouldn't surprise anyone. I'm not "handy" that way.

So the money I have coming in PLUS my savings account will be going towards these two expenditures.

I tend to have the opposite of the midas touch. Everything I touch turns to crap.

Let's review the evidence:

• My job: Things were beautiful for about 4 years. BAM! merger. New boss. life is now crap.
• My love life: I met my soul mate. We are both in love with each other but the problem very specifically lies with him not wanting or ready to acknowledge it with some kind of peramanance. So right people - wrong time.
• My friendships: By and large this is not so bad, BUT I do have a couple of friends who seem to have abandoned me and I am unclear why. I should take the hint I guess. If they don't want regular contact wtih me and want to be friendly acquaintances who talk perhaps once or twice a year, thats fine. I just wish people would be up front instead of stringing me a long. One, when questioned, actually went with the "it's not you - It's me. "
• My family: While things are better here, I swear we are like a slightly warped version of everybody loves Raymond. And I'm Robert. Really do I need to say more?
• My home/car: As you have already seen we've covered this above. In the hopes of not being redundant I won't review it again.

Now, you may laugh when I say this but even with all of this above, every night I say a prayer, in the hopes that there is a heaven. This prayer consists of me thanking God for:

• the job that i have ( even though it blows),
• the home I have ( though it needs repairs),
• the car I drive ( same with the repairs),
• the friends and family that I have ( though all of us may be certifiable)
• The relationship that I am involved in ( though it needs a good deal of work)
• My health
• The world that we live in

Then I pray for the following:

• To make the job that am in better. by getting rid of leader
• To help me find the necessary elements to repair my home
• To help me find the necessary elements to repair my car
• To help my family and friends through any trials, illnesses or generals needs and blessings
• To help me with my relationship to get things on track for us.
• Keep me healthy and those close to me
• TO make the world a better place
• To give me strenght and courage to keep moving forward even when I feel like there is no hope, or have lost my way or my desire.

I guess that while I have the opposite of the midas touch, I also still have hope that I will be able to straighten everything out.

Pot Pourie

Part Un

I was unable to post for a couple of days out of fear.

Fear that my laptop was about to crash.

I came home and turned it on, and it kept re-booting.

I finally gave up, shut it down and called the help desk to open a ticket.

Then it suddenly flashed on and said "Memory size modified" and lo an behold my laptop sprung to life.

Still worried about the data, I shut it down till This morning when I could speak to a technician.

I am 15 days away from warranty expiration which ironically is bad. If it had expired, I would have a brand new laptop. But alas, It it so I am getting a refurbished system board, ac adapted and battery. Woo f'n hoo.

I worked through the day on a laptop that was so slow you could hand write what I was doing faster. I was unable to open too many programs or it would crash.

Part Deux

It was while trying to work on my slower than molasses laptop, that I was asked to join a quick conf bridge with my PM on my project.

*** Please note that I have been on vacation for the past week ***

I join and we go through the same old litany of "how many orders... what is a Satellite.... are we done putting new orders in..... " Really after 6 months you'd think they could come up with some questions.

The next thing I know, we have directors joining the call. Evidently the customer esc to our VP. I'm not really one to point fingers but the majority of the issues we have been trying to overcome are the customers. We are literally killing ourselves and all I heard was my director telling me that I didn't push hard enough.

Now. I was - am, very disturbbed by that statement. They want me to be empowered to get the job done, but then they take my escalation chain away. My boss has known of these issues for months and I am being blamed for not calling someone I didn't even know was associated with this project?

Not crazy about this one. But given that the director and I are friendly I may choose to have a side conversation with him on this.

Part Trois

Or I may start looking for a new gig. I am seriously tired. Drained and tired. I suspect some burnout. I'm going to wait it out a bit and see if I bounce back. This may have just been a bad day.

Part Quatre

The two days with no laptop were peaceful. More so than I had expected. Very relaxing.

Part Cinq

I suspect the burnout is two fold - part from personal issues and part from work related issues. It feels like there is no safe haven for me right now. I was able to use work to get away from personal and personal to get away from work, but now I don't want EITHER an I want BOTH.

So it's a little bit frustrating.

Part Six

I hit 20 lbs officially this morning. I was thrilled. Considering I spent yesterday sleeping and on the couch reading my HP book.

Part Sept

My houuse is a flipping disaster. I have to pick it up, do laundry, run the dishwasher - all those things.

Part Huit

My personal definition of depression:

1. When my house is let go within an inch of its life
2. I eat way too much or way too little
3. I don't feel like going out
4. I work way too much
5. I cancel appts or meetings with friends
6. I stop caring about my bills

Good news here is I am really only dealing with 1 and the potential for 4 exists but I am fighting it. So no, not depressed and my counseling sessions are also in accordance with that. But it was brief concern for me.

What they have shown however is that I am in a situation that can be very frustrating as well as being fulfilling. I am also in circumstances that require a lot of personal strength, something I am not very good at. I am the woman who will re-create herself for a man. To be the perfect person for the relationship I am in. And I have done that, albeit unsuccesfully, once with the same person. But now, no. In the immortal words of Popeye:

I yam who I yam

And it's paying off. Better than I thought.

So Finit.

Je suis Fatigue.

I am going to sleep now.

Act 1 Scene 4 - Finders Keepers

OK now in the last couple of "The Plan" posts, I have casually mentioned some DMV issues under finance.

The fact is, 7 years later, I received a notice giving me 90 days to respond to a lapse of insurance in February of 1999.

Can I just mention that I haven't been with THAT insurance company in probably 5 years? Minimum?

And because the notification JUST came in - those records got shredded ( 7 years right???) and I am pretty religious about that. IN fact I had JUST done it which really pissed me off.

I went to the court that issued it and they gave me an extension - even though I tried to plead that they shouldn't even be asking for this now. 7 years later. But since they are going to insist and being a County court, they can, I awill do my diligence and try and get proof.

Having very little luck with my former insurance company ( I happen to work in the MAJOR building in NYC when I am there), I opted to go to the agent I have now and ask for some guidance.

Never made it to her office for the appt as it's tomorrow.

Do you want to know why? I reached into my night stand drawer today to take my required blood pressure and grabbed a book that was sitting on top. It's an interesting book and I hadn't remembered it was in there. I opened it and pulled out a piece of paper.

It was the insurance cards from said company. Covering me during that time.

Prayers are answered sometimes. This one weighed on my mind. I really wasn't sure how I was going to get the paperwork from so long ago. Now I just have to bring it down to the Court and get my clearance slip, take it to the DMV and have it registered so they don't suspend my license.

I cannot tell you what I sigh of relief this brings me.

Seriously.

Did you ever think you were backwards?

I think I am.

Backwards, that is.

I have never really experienced fear. Not serious fear at any rate.

Isn't that weird? I think so.

I have spent most of my life trying to live it in the middle so that I didn't have to deal with the peaks and valleys. I've discussed this with you before.

But is it enough? to live in the middle?

If you never experience something like fear, I would imagine that is a good thing. Right? but then how would you then appreciate security? and is that something that is even attainable?

No job is secure, no home is truly safe enough, no way to avoid death - we are all dying at some point, no relationship is guarnatee.

So Wouldn't it make sense to fear those things?

I had a revelation this morning. In the wee small hours.

Lately, I am actually... shh don't say it too loud..... afraid of everything. everything I just listed. I spend more time than I realized worrying about the security o f my job, the security of my home, dying - and alone at that, the health of my friends and family, my own health and well being and my relationship.

Worry is kind of Advanced fear. Its like a low level hum. It doesn't gra b you and put you into that fight or flight adrenaline rush, but it simmers just below the surface. In places that we are so accustomed to dealing with that we don't notice it's weird. Until it either dissipates or surfaces.

I find the single biggest problem for me, is not knowing what my fate is. either in the job, or my relationships with anyone. I absolutely cannot stand having someone upset or angry at me. I cannot abide by the idea that someone will not give me the opportunity to correct something if I have done it wrong.

So in thinking through ( or rather OVER thinking ) my panic attack yesterday and the lighter version of it today, I am sitting here pondering how this has boiled over the surface and is actually starting to interfere with my life. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I hate working. I exercise for the sheer reason that it gives me something to occupy my time. I teach for the same reason and can't find the pleasure in something I love that much. I have to manage a recital lfor 30 kids tonight and I honestly am petrified and stressed that it will go badly. A veritably train wreck. I have no assistance either - it's pretty much me + me running this show.

I am afraid of being hurt. Physically AND emotionally. What if I have an accident and I get hurt? Hospital???? Pain???? no, thank you.

Broken heart? what? again??? have you ever been in a relationship that hasn't broken up? For me, the answer is no. Not yet ( see what I did there - I threw the hopeful in - I am , after all, truly an optimist). I am hopeful though.

So what is it that I am worrying about? The reality is I am busy. Too busy. too busy to worry about the things that I normally worry about day to day. I should be enjoying my relationship, and I can't seem to because I need more definition. But Do I really? Or is it me just worrying that there is something unspoken that is bad? Maybe and this actually is probably true, we are just working through the beginning of something new and this is supposed to be the fun part? I do believe having access to too much information can sometimes pose issues.

Everything can't be bad. Right? I am so not this person unless I am having doubts about myself and my personal center.

Which I am. Clearly this is where the panic attacks have to be generating from. THe loss of my personal center. Or in my case - the misplacement of it.

I've talked about the information age here too. Too much information CAN be a bad thing. In this instance -between too much information at my fingertips and my brain filling in the blanks, this becomes like a really scary madlibs game. The information leads me down a path, and my brain fills in the rest. My mind is not a place to go into alone unsupervised.

I don't fear the actual things. I was in NYC during 9-11. I watched the second plane hit the WTC. I walked to midtown after re-routing data traffic from tower 2 to china for a customer. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't nervous. I treated it like an adventure - not a happy one - but one nonetheless.... I helped people who needed assistance, I stayed out of the way, I made sure that I along with others were in a safe place.

No fear.

I had a friend's blood sugar once dip into the teens while in a strange city at picnic grounds with no insulin or medication or anything to help raise it up. I got her down on the ground, had the other companion traveling with us, get some milk and call 911. She came around with the help of the EMT's and dextrose. I didn't panic, I didn't worry and I wasn't afraid.

I guess I am good in a real crisis. As long as it's not my own. Then I want to crawl into a hole and hide. The urge is getting stronger right now. And I can't understand why I am having trouble fighting it now. My usual tactics aren't really working. Which is weird for me.

The loss of my personal center has more to do with the fact that I am in some uncharted territory with work. I am in uncharted territory with my relationships, I am in uncharted territory overall.

This loss of personal center means more that I have had the earth shift under my feet and I am still walking forward, but I am unstable in my three inch marabou Mules. Because of this shift ( the old darwinian shuffle as it may be) I am not in my comfort zone and it's very hard for me navigate without a map.

Maybe it's a sign of burnout. Maybe it's a sign that I need to learn different and better methods of communicating my needs.

One thing I do know, is that I fight every single day to do my normall day to day activities without worrying. I do think that this recital is a major problem for me. I am so worried because I had no input on how it was setup. The hall isn't paid for. The participants are children. The program is long, the parents are stressed.

I need to get past this. I need to communicate with leader some of the things taht are going on, but he hasn't called back in two days. I need to spend some other time on just me. getting my actvity plan back in place. Taking care of me.

Ironically my prayer has increased. I'm not at peace but it does help. My attendance at my worship has been better. But I mentally checked out on work. I mentally checked out on my music. I underthink those things and overthink things that shouldn't be. So I need to re-balance ad re-prioritze so as not to panic so much. It's a crappy feeling. It's like I can't sit still. That ANYTHING I do will be more productive than what I was doing.

Clearly this is a sign that something isn't working. I can't quite identify it down to ONE thing, but I can narrow it down to a few. That's something right? Good start. Right?

Now I just need to get back into my life and live it with less worry ( lets not go overboard right away!).

I know it's possible - I was doing this well before now!

A visit an discussion of schools

" Did you know the post road is backed up to one lane" My friend asked at 9:45AM
"nope, I'm still in bed" I replied - thankful to be there.
"well I know another route so I'll still be there by noon-ish." she said
" OK call if you get lost" I said and dozed back off

My Friend from New England ( the really SOUTHERN part) was on her way to see my "not so new" home. And Bringing a toy to test drive with my cats. They are so spoiled those boys.

She got here, I gave her the tour including the the horrible GRAY bathroom, the bedroom that charms me to know end and my Living room with my new tree!

We had some tea and tortured my cat with a remote control mouse. He finally got tired of chasing it and picked it up in his mouth and carried it around. He's such a brute!

Then we went to a local Hibachi style Japanese restaurant that I LOVE. We had a great time. She didn't stay for long, but I showed her around town and some of the historical buildings and odd things that make up the town that I lived in. The fiber of the town if you will. I have lived in this town on and off for most of my life and I can say with certainty that, other than a major city, there isn't a town in suburbia quite like this one.

When I call it a melting pot, that would be an understatement. We are a community that celebrates Christmas and Hanukkah, but also boxing day and Three Kings day ( known in the US as epiphany) just to name a few. The PR day parade is not just limited to NYC either. We have one here. We have a large Hispanic, black and Caribbean culture in this town. I am the minority.

We have so many varying degrees of income here too across all cultural sections. From the very wealthy ( less than 5%) to the average ( about 70 %) to the impoverished ( less than 5%) and then we have the odd thing, 20% of the school taxes are based on kids that do not live in the community and attend our schools il-legally for lack of a better word. They attend our schools by putting an address down that's valid and then having someone pick them up and drop them off at that address or they take the train in.

The reasons are somewhat valid although I can say for sure that I do not agree with them. Most of us in town don't as a matter of fact. Our school system provides a Bi-lingual Kindergarten. Which I think is very important and a stroke of brilliance. What a great way to help these children integrate into a new life in a new country. But it doesn't end there. Our schools offer the full curriculum up to graduation in the alternate language. Here is where I disagree. It pigeon-holes kids so they have no opportunity to improve their language skills and go on to college and have a career that might give them a better life. I really have an issue with a school district that segregates kids and the programs that they initiate are actually fostering the segregation than tearing it down.

Additionally our district belongs to the un-official program "no child left behind". No funding for this program, a great idea in theory, but when you can't even clearly identify the children that actually live in the district versus those are attending subversively there really isn't a way to get this program off the ground. This program makes sure that no child gets left back. It's largely based on the standardized tests for the State. I don't understand how you can take a bell curve and skew it so that all children fall into the same categories. I am no statistician ( ask anyone!) but something seems rotten in Denmark. I love the idea but I don't think my district's execution is truly benefitting the children.

Part of the "busing in the bad element" issue has been corrected. Now the HS in the town directly north of us has re-opened and that is supposed to relieve us of some of the "bad element" that was coming from the Corridor. I do have to say that either I have learned to turn a blind eye ( which I doubt) or else I really don't see that element here like I did in the past. There was always a concern as the corridor is not that far away and it can always seep back in if we aren't vigilant but I do happen to know that most parents are crazy vigilant about those elements and education about that kind of element and dare I use the word (shhh we don't speak the names aloud) is happening in the home now. Most importantly the signs of that kind of activity have gone by the way side. I simply don't see it like I did in my childhood. I am ever vigilant as a precaution but it's really improved.

Due to the major cultural diversity here, we get school grants way above and beyond what most districts get and slowly our schools are improving. But I don't see any effort being made to make life for the children easier from an integration standpoint. I did see a major renovation done to the school administration building. it's gorgeous. and if 10 kids per year grace it's doorstep I would be shocked. To be fair to those folks who work there that place was run down when my dad had his office there 25 years ago - so it was overdue but still not to the degree it was done. Italian marble? I have to be seriously concerned at what they are using that money for. I do realize that you have to use it up to get more. But like that????

We give speeches to the student bodies now in two languages in the High School. Most recently for a scholarship. If you want to be fair about it - it's necessary but I don't think that we should make things this easy. Yes I think a translator is neccessary for anything involving the parents, but just the kids? No. I think that we do them a dis-service at learning the language side by side with what's spoken at home if we use translators in every day life.

In my tour around town with my friend today, we talked about this. In her sleepy New England town ( near Martha Stewart by the way), this kind of thing doesn't go on. But in the town where she grew up and lived until 7 years ago it still happens to this day. She has the same feelings that I do and commented that my town looked very similar to that one. She also mentioned that by busing kids in and having those kids subversively brought in, their parents are trying to pave the way for a better life for them.

On the one hand I agree with her, but on the other hand I beg the question - at whose expense? I have no problem paying tax money to help my community educate the children. I have no problem donating additional time and money to help kids who have a need. Hell, I am Kiwanian - that's what we DO. Our goal is to help the children of the world one child at a time. But I think people who are taking advantage of the system are really putting a lot of additional pressure on the economy of this incorporated village and the grant money that we get does get chewed up much faster than I think it aught to.

Most of my friends with kids send them to catholic school in the next town after kindergarten. That to me speaks louder than anything else. I want to see this district improve so that our parents are comfortable sending their kids here. I want to see the kids that need help learning english get that assistance and I want to see this community work together to bridge over these gaps. Education-wise, while we have the right idea, we have the wrong execution and while it makes things easier for the ids NOW, they pay in the long run. Community-wise, our kids are paying dearly for being bused in and out, snuck in and out via train or what have you. They don't get to participate in their community, they don't get to be in after school activities and they are leading separate lives - one home life and one school life with no bridge between.

It was a fun visit. We had a great time. Our chat's really brought this particular issue to light for me in a very specific relief. It's tough to be an educator AND a tax payer at the same time.

But it made me really think about these situations and the ramifications of them.

Desparately in need of a mental health day

I'm tired.

Not physically. But emotionally. I want a day to not have to THINK about anyone I don't want to or anything I don't want to.

And Wednesday November 22 is my day.

I have a couple of have-to's to take care of - have to walk, have to teach 2 kids, have pick up the house.... but that night is my want to - the annual interfaith service. It's my favorite and it is so much fun. We have such a wonderful time. And this year my church, St Judes, is hosting.

We are singing "For the Beauty of the Earth" by Rutter. I hate the tune to be honest, because it is soooooo overdone. But it's suitable for words and technically do-able. So we go with it. Last year it was "look at the world" also Rutter. Wonderful piece and I love the Mass for the Children that it comes from. If you ever have the opportunity to listen to it, please do. I'm a little disappointed that we aren't doing more traditional hymns but that's not really a crisis.

Mostly my plans for the day are taking time to be with me. I need brain healing time. There are very few calls I will take - select friends and family ( and I mean select, if any of you are reading you are allowed to call!). I will take a hot bath maybe a nap ( yum!) and cook and just be at peace with myself. I need it so very much.

I don't need these too often but the pressures of my job get to me. My primary gig can be very stressful and we are nearing the end of a project that I am running and everyone is starting to scream loudly and it has become an unmanageable mess. My boss took care of one major issue today so that when I return after the holiday it should be fine. I have a few other measures that I need to put in place and then I think it will be smoother sailing.

That said - that's circumstantial and I can walk away from that mentally 99% of the time. Layer that with the emotional stuff that's happening and you get a time bomb. So I'm de-fusing the bomb so to speak.

I'm looking forward to spending the holiday with my new sister-in-law and her family. That's going to be a lot of fun. As previously mentioned, her parents are roughly my age. I am truly looking forward to it.

I am also now trying to find my holiday outfits. I can't find anything appealing at my regular haunts and maybe tomorrow I will head over to Dress Barn here in town and see if they have anything that looks good for the holidays. I am sooooo picky and I need a new dress for the party on the 15th. You would think I would be excited right? I HATE to shop. I mean I seriously HATE stores. I hate trying things on - no matter WHAT weight I am. I resent that I have to spend my time there. Truthfully 99% of my wardrobe was bought online or through catalogues.

I do 100% of my Christmas shopping on line. I just don't have the patience for a line or any other those other things that make malls and stores so much fun for others. I don't even food shop in a store. 80% of my food purchases come from an outfit called Peapod. I love them and I am a preferred customer. They will be bringing me my groceries tomorrow - yay me!

One small note about customer service as we gear up for high shopping season. I made a deposit at my bank on Sunday night at the ATM. It should have posted today. Not only didn't it post, no one saw any record of it. I called the branch after talking to the customer service center and the assistant manager was so unbelievably nice. She went ahead and authorized a portion of the check to be posted to my account for tomorrow. What I liked most about it is they hadn't even found the check yet. She didn't want me to be without funds for the holiday while the bank was closed. I was truly touched by such a nice woman. She is supposed to let me know when they find the deposit but they believe that it is there and they just errored in processing. They were properly concerned for me, for locating my money, for making retribution to me, but not so much so as to create alarm in me. the personal touch is NOT dead OR in India as many believe. It's alive and well in the US.

So that's my plans for tomorrow - it's ALL about me.

( see I'm getting better .... I CAN tune out the world! ) Bon Soir!

Flexible spending - Just how flexible is it???

I have had a FSA now for about 3 years. My particular one allows me to use a debit card from their company in addition to submitting paper claims.

For those of you unfamiliar with this, in short, this is an account that your company will automatically take pre-tax money from your check and deposit it in this account for you to spend on medical co-pays, prescriptions, child care, OTC meds and supplies etc. Basically, it saves money in the long run.

The IRS has rules for these accounts as well. The FSA company that my place of business uses is called Payflex. They have diferent levels of service as most companies do. For my place of business, we are somewhere in the middle. The rules that the IRS had when I first joined the account 4 years ago, were, any charge on the card that was not an even dollar amount required a receipt to be faxed to them to verify that the card is being used properly.

They changed the rules, but did not notify the plan participants. Now one must submit receipts for every single thing. I think that makes more sense, though there communication skills could be re-vamped a little.

So, let me tell you why I chose this topic today. I logged into the website to verify the status of my card as it was declined and I have an obscene amount of money still available. There is no bill to pay since its prepaid, so I am confused. I can only see the words "permantly inactive" on the screen and my head spins around.

So I call the company and I get a young chick with attitude.... just my luck, someone who likes to fight, working customer service. This aught to be good. I explain my issues to her, she, nicely at first, advised me that new cards had been shipped - in January of 2006. Clearly mine didn't arrive, and my old was working till recently. So I share that with her and she tells me its not possible. Of course, my card activity proves her wrong, which sent her into a tailspin. She reviews the account and tells me that my new card will not be shipped to me until I clear up some receipt paperwork that is missing.

I can't tell you how I reacted but picture Linda Blair and your probably close. I was provided by the individual I was working with 6 items that needed paperwork. I hit the roof because well over half had been provided more than twice and some up to 5 times. with verbal confirmation. I wanted confirmation in writing but they don't do that for paperwork to back up card claims, only paper claims.

So now, I have to spend the time to locate these 6 items in my files, some as far back as 2004. You have to be kidding me. 2004???? Thank goodness it was 20 dollars because the vendor I used may not have the information I need on this if I cannot find it myself.

The other half of the problem is my laptop crashed in July. I lost all my medical records, electronic receipts etc. This means that i have to go back to Medco, CVS and FamilyMeds and hope they can assist me in re-constructing my records so I can have my card released.

It's a pain in the butt however this year my benefits plan is changing and I am going to need this card more than ever. I will now be paying a percentage of prescriptions rather than just a flat fee like this year.

I'm not sure that the title Flexible account is accurate. Though when the card is working its flexible and peace of mind during emergencies, however the upkeep and maintenance is a pain in the butt. Mostly becuase these people operate soley by fax. I would LOVE them to use emails. I put in the suggesstion with psycho girl that they should send email notificiation of receipt of all documentation whether its for a paper claim or a card claim and they should also accept email documentation as well. I'm not holding my breath but it would sure make things easier for me.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Stomach ache by any other name Current mood: calm Category: Pets and Animals
It started like any normal day, got up, fed the cats and made myself coffee.

Any semblance of my normal work day disappeared after that.

Wolfi, my orange Maine Coon, started to projectile vomit.



At first I thought it was just a hairball as he has some trouble processing those through his body. It usually takes an entire day and a couple of doses of his malt medication. So I did that, but things werent working.

This cat really does have me wrapped around his paw, though. No sooner would he throw up then he would hightail it to the kitchen and sit, not in front of his food bowl or water bowl, but in front of the saucer where I fed him some baby food to see if he would eat. He did this EACH time he threw up.

Still not believing he was actually sick, I spent the day cleaning up after him and making sure he was eating and drinking. Then all of a sudden I realized he hadnt been eating or drinking enough to make it worth my while and he hadnt used the box since the morning.

And I panicked.

You see, he is two years four months and 4 days old. He is actually too young to suffer from urinary blockage but thats not a hard and fast rule. Im extremely hypersensitive to that because Wilbur, my first MC, suffered from that and I almost lost him to it. It cost roughly 5000 dollars before I was done.

So you see why I panicked. The symptoms Wolfi was exhibiting were the same ones that accompany urinary blockage. Along with the target group of large, male cats 3-7 years old. Except for the 3 year old part he had it all,

So I call the emergency hospital code for CHA CHING and the receptionist advises me that he really should be seen but it costs $115.00 just to walk in the door. I decide to wait a bit longer and see how this pans out.
Then I made a fatal mistake I looked up the symptoms of urinary blockage to double check and thats when I made the connection and completely fell apart.

I call back to the emergency room. This time one of the nurses picks up. I should have known better really. She proceeds to tell me that the cat needs to be seen immediately because its obvious he cannot pee. If I dont he will die by morning.

Can you all say Alarmist???? Now my perceived panic is out right hysteria. I drop everything, I call my two best friends and both are not home. I left messages.

As I am now getting Wolfi together, S calls me back. She calmly listens to me as she always does and proceeds to impart this logic:

If he isnt eating or drinking anything and hes throwing up stomach fluids, why on earth would he be peeing and pooping? What is there to pee or poop?

Of course, this is perfectly logical and makes perfect sense. But the snowball is rolling downhill already and I decide to follow through just to be safe.

No carrier Lord knows who borrowed it, So I bundle him in a blanket and hustle out to the car. Mr curious has never been in the car before so this is of course going to be interesting. He wasnt too inquisitive but I did drive one handed all the way to the north shore.

Once there I hold him in one arm and fill out forms with the other. We wait for 45 minutes ( for which they charged me $115.00) and then we are called in. The same nurse who advise me that he would die if I didnt bring him in, bustles in importantly, weighs him ( 14 LBS) and proceeds to tell me what his diagnosis is. I ask her if that is her opinion or fact? She looks confused. She was very abrupt when she tells me that she has been a Veterinary nurse for over 20 years and that she can diagnose by looking at the animal. Then she tells me the doctor will be in shortly and leaves.

I shake my head in wonderment, pet my cat, then it comes to me. I know her. And I know from where, and I didnt like her much then either. She was the nurse who assisted when I had to put Wilbur down. She told me that I was not allowed to be in the room when they put him down. When I asked why she told me because she would have to catheterize the cat before they do it. I hit the roof, they are putting my cat to sleep and I cant be there because it will put her out? The vet put a stop to that quickly and fast forward, Im in the same room dealing with her crap again.

The Doctor arrives, she is wonderful. I respect her very much. She checks his heart and his lungs ( both clear and healthy heart has no arrhythmia or murmer), takes his temp (102 perfectly normal), checks gums ( perfect), eyes ( perfect) and says.

Tell me whats going on. There doesnt appear to be anything wrong with this cat.

I share with her the story of the day. She offers up an x-ray but says its very pricey and she doesnt believe that its necessary. In her professional opinion, this is not a cat she is going to lose sleep over tonight. There are some, but hes not one.

So we decide against the x-ray. She tells me that she is going to give me something to settle his stomach. I told her I almost gave him some pepcid and she tells me thats exactly what shes giving him. I gasp. For 170 dollars? Are you KIDDING Me???? So she laughs and says that there are more injections than just that. He also got subcutaneous fluids, and an antibiotic just to kill off any secondary infections.

They bring him back smelling like the nurses perfume. He has been flirting with them in the back. They are all in love with him and as usual he has been charming the pants off everyone.

We settle the bill. They hand me the insurance forms pre-filled out and ready to go with all the copies necessary. We leave. The poor baby is shaking like a leaf from fear. We get in the car and head home.

We step off the elevator in our building. He immediately recognizes this place hops out of my arms and trots down the hall. He stops at the corner to meow at me to hurry up. We get into the house, he goes to sleep. We get one more bout of projectile vomiting and he is out like a light. I pick up all the food and water so no one gets anything. I go to bed.

Somewhere around 3AM, Bandit joins me on the bed. 10 seconds later he is joined by Wolfi, who proceeds to start bathing Bandit. See below:








By 5AM my life is no longer my own. I am unable to sleep because Wolfi either wants food or love or both. This continues till 8:30 when I finally get up. I feed him some baby food per the vets orders. He eats it in record time and start barking for more. Then he starts eating the regular food. He uses the box and sleeps most of the day. Hes not 100 ut hes about 85 and Ill take that.

I read the bill this afternoon. For the diagnosis of Gastritis with a treatment of Pepcid, fluids, antibiotic we paid 287.00. Code for A stomach ache.

Now thats the most expensive trip to Garden City Ive ever taken.