Healthy Changes

I don't know about you, but anyone who tries to make me change "for my own good" is pretty much looking to get punched.

Jon is much the same way.

So it should come as no surprise that the source of many of our conflicts is this topic exactly.

Now - I am the very first one to tell you - "do not try to change your mate".

I have a little bit of a different spin on this now. My spin is - don't change them - change yourself and guide them slowly along with you. If you BOTH do it - you're growing together. RIght?

Sounds excellent on paper.

I have been working at the practical reality on this as well. We do the two steps forward one step back dance alot of the time, but I have to say that we are growing together overall.

My only problem is patience. I hate to say this in this way as it's sort of fairy tale-ish, but I have waited my WHOLE LIFE ( to this point) for this man and I want the whole picture RIGHT NOW.

One of the things that I am doing at the suggestion of a very enlightened young woman, is to surround him and spend time with other Healthy couples. I have discovered that this actually has excellent benefits. We have a lot of mutual friends that fall into this category. So for me it's an easy one.

We had a game night with 2 other couples - it was a HUGE hit. He freaked out the next day about it, but we have rallied and moved forward since then.

THen a few weeks ago, we had dinner and a movie with another couple - yet another astounding hit. Wow and wow. This gets better and better.

I received my Christmas present from him today. Because it arrived and was too big for him to hide. He would have wnated to assemble it and have it under the tree and there was no way to make that work at this time. So he had me go into the foyer and open it there.

I got my piano bench! I have had the Steinway for 20 years - it was my college Graduation gift. And I have been using a dining room chair for it ever since.

This piano bench is gorgeous. Black laquer, storage in the bench, the perfect height. He set it up, and I sat down and played. It was heaven. It was the perfect gift. He was too excited. He couldn't wait!!!!

I was so happy.

When I got home, the entertainment center wascompleted, the wiring done, the TV and cable and home theater system racked and functional. It looks AMAZING.

PS don't worry - I still have gifts to open Christmas day - he made that clear!

Today's Happy dance list includes:

1. I am thankful that things are slowly but surely shaping up. I still have a lot of work to do on me, but I have faith and hope now.
2. I am thankful that though it is a sad thing that my stepmom's best friend passed away, I am thankful that she is no longer in pain or suffering.
3. I am thankful that my Old TV will be going to a good home with Jon's Brother.
4. I am thankful that my old bookcases are going to a good home with my best friend.
5. I am thankful that I stood up to my Poodle. Whenever the going gets tough for him, he expects that everyone will drop what they are doing to coddle him through it. He called me every hour yesterday and then today I got 3 calls and 3 hangups before 9AM. This is unacceptable and after 10 years of this, I called him back, we did an hour of work together with me helping him. After that wasn't enough and I was still getting harassed all day, I called him back and told him this had to stop. I have my own work to do and he's a man in his mid 50's that needs to learn how to work independently.