Some interesting changes

I'm back.

I won't say "better than ever". Not yet.

The Acupuncture is the most amazing experience I've had in my life. Acupuncturists have the same challenges as Western Medical Doctors in treatment and it makes for a very interesting experience.

I have now had 3 treatments. Ever untrusting and skeptical, I didn't think anything was happening.

Why?

Because my skin - while improving - is not improving the way I expected. Not speed, mind you, though that would be nice.... More along the lines of the fact that I am still using the topical steroids and 4-5 different moisture creams 6-8 times per day.

However, I noticed that while I still worry and still suffer bouts of depression - I now have a new term for it. I call it depression light. I noticed my OCD is less. I trust more.

And now I am communicating. Better than ever.

I don't know if that's the acupuncture OR if that is simply the learning curve of the relationship or both.

But we have now had 1 serious fight that was resolved very quickly and was by rights my favorite fight - and his - because of how we handled ourselves and the situation. It was quite funny coming out the the other side.

The second thing that happened was the night BEFORE my third appt, I came home in the snow and he had just walked in. We were having a conversation and I burst out that I was tired of doing the right thing by people only to be taken advantage of. I'm tired of being the perpetual grownup when I am normally the youngest in the crowd by 10 years. Just because I am nice does not mean I am stupid!

He walked in, looked at me, put his arms around me said "Who's doing this to you?"

I replied one name.

THe name of one his "fans". We'll call her Sandy. Which is her real name. She is roughly his age ( Overage groupies tend to behave this way incidentally - I'm just starting to get that), married, two grown children.

She trashes me to him every chance she gets. She doesn't even know me. I'm offended. I'm a nice person. I'm a good person. And while I don't need to be LIKED by everyone - I do deserve some levek of respect in accordance with the relationship.

I tell him this adding "Who the hell is she to judge me? What goes on between you and I is only our business."

He basically responded that he is taking responsibility for it because he took a fight out of the house to her back in Sept when he should not have. He never corrected the situation because frankly he forgot and didn't think that it was anything important. If he had known how tormented I was by it, he would have addressed it sooner.

To which I concurred, adding, "Well she must have a HELL of an understanding husband."

THe look on his face was priceless.

"Ummm - she's not married. Not for many years. " he gently replied

"Oh really? YOu didn't notice the wedding bands on her hand? THEY CAN BE SEEN IN SPACE!" I countered.

"Oh I asked her about that. She said she just liked them" even he's not buying that....

"Look. It doesn't matter whether she is or she's not - that's her business. THe fact of the matter is I KNOW she is because she and I have a mutual friend. She's lying to you to support whatever her hidden agenda is. I don't like it because it's disrespectful to both you and I"

"Wow. Well. She's definitely lied to me about it. And frankly after the lies I went through with the whore who I had an Actual relationship with, I don't need this from someone I am just friends with. She's off the mailing list and I am deleting her from the address book. I am also going to have a conversation at my next gig there at the end of the month and clarify things about you because that's just not right" He said.

"Do you feel better?" He asked.

"I do."

Since I doubt she will go quietly, I did pull a background check on her to give some additional leverage. I won't use it unless absolutely necessary, but I felt she would start covering her tracks and I WAS RIGHT.

Her myspace profile - overnight - went from displaying married to in a relationship - and you have to hunt for it.

THe thing that made this really important to me is that he understood that taking something out from behind closed doors was not cool. And he's going to rectify it. He also now realizes that people are not always what they seem. And lastly, that I do trust him to do the the right thing by me and us. And he is.

THe biggest thing for me was that I held onto this for way too long. He called me on it and was right to do so. I wasn't planning to address it then. It just came out. But I wasn't afraid. Even though, my gut said that this woman was trouble back in May. I told him then and he blew it off because we barely knew her. Now he see's that I was right.

It's very liberating. This whole communication thing. And we are closer than ever about it. His friends, my friends and OUR Friends all see it - the intimacy is built more and more each day.

These are good stepping stones. Really good.