Desparately in need of a mental health day

I'm tired.

Not physically. But emotionally. I want a day to not have to THINK about anyone I don't want to or anything I don't want to.

And Wednesday November 22 is my day.

I have a couple of have-to's to take care of - have to walk, have to teach 2 kids, have pick up the house.... but that night is my want to - the annual interfaith service. It's my favorite and it is so much fun. We have such a wonderful time. And this year my church, St Judes, is hosting.

We are singing "For the Beauty of the Earth" by Rutter. I hate the tune to be honest, because it is soooooo overdone. But it's suitable for words and technically do-able. So we go with it. Last year it was "look at the world" also Rutter. Wonderful piece and I love the Mass for the Children that it comes from. If you ever have the opportunity to listen to it, please do. I'm a little disappointed that we aren't doing more traditional hymns but that's not really a crisis.

Mostly my plans for the day are taking time to be with me. I need brain healing time. There are very few calls I will take - select friends and family ( and I mean select, if any of you are reading you are allowed to call!). I will take a hot bath maybe a nap ( yum!) and cook and just be at peace with myself. I need it so very much.

I don't need these too often but the pressures of my job get to me. My primary gig can be very stressful and we are nearing the end of a project that I am running and everyone is starting to scream loudly and it has become an unmanageable mess. My boss took care of one major issue today so that when I return after the holiday it should be fine. I have a few other measures that I need to put in place and then I think it will be smoother sailing.

That said - that's circumstantial and I can walk away from that mentally 99% of the time. Layer that with the emotional stuff that's happening and you get a time bomb. So I'm de-fusing the bomb so to speak.

I'm looking forward to spending the holiday with my new sister-in-law and her family. That's going to be a lot of fun. As previously mentioned, her parents are roughly my age. I am truly looking forward to it.

I am also now trying to find my holiday outfits. I can't find anything appealing at my regular haunts and maybe tomorrow I will head over to Dress Barn here in town and see if they have anything that looks good for the holidays. I am sooooo picky and I need a new dress for the party on the 15th. You would think I would be excited right? I HATE to shop. I mean I seriously HATE stores. I hate trying things on - no matter WHAT weight I am. I resent that I have to spend my time there. Truthfully 99% of my wardrobe was bought online or through catalogues.

I do 100% of my Christmas shopping on line. I just don't have the patience for a line or any other those other things that make malls and stores so much fun for others. I don't even food shop in a store. 80% of my food purchases come from an outfit called Peapod. I love them and I am a preferred customer. They will be bringing me my groceries tomorrow - yay me!

One small note about customer service as we gear up for high shopping season. I made a deposit at my bank on Sunday night at the ATM. It should have posted today. Not only didn't it post, no one saw any record of it. I called the branch after talking to the customer service center and the assistant manager was so unbelievably nice. She went ahead and authorized a portion of the check to be posted to my account for tomorrow. What I liked most about it is they hadn't even found the check yet. She didn't want me to be without funds for the holiday while the bank was closed. I was truly touched by such a nice woman. She is supposed to let me know when they find the deposit but they believe that it is there and they just errored in processing. They were properly concerned for me, for locating my money, for making retribution to me, but not so much so as to create alarm in me. the personal touch is NOT dead OR in India as many believe. It's alive and well in the US.

So that's my plans for tomorrow - it's ALL about me.

( see I'm getting better .... I CAN tune out the world! ) Bon Soir!