Stresses and hurts

STRESS

I am a little bit stressed.

While I handle stress well, it does take it's toll.

It's ironic because I handle both stress and performance nerves the same way. I allow it to happen AFTER.

The difference between stress and performance nerves is, performing is over much quicker. Stress in life can maintain for long periods of time.

So it's no surprise to me that the weight I gained during his 18 day stay in the hospital ( 7 lbs.) is now coming off.... with little to no effort.

The flaking of my scalp and the general condition of my skin is horrible.

My allergies have suddenyl gotten worse.

My sleep patterns are just starting to go back to normal

My eyes run and water all the time.... with or without contacts.

And why? Because I allowed myself to let the stress go and this is how my body reacts. Now you may think this is odd. And it is, but when I don't release it - it's ten times worse than this - and then it lasts for a really long time. This bout will be over in a few days.

HURTS

These are a little bit harder to heal.

Jon is hurting. He wants to get up and do. And he can't. At least not everything all at once.

I made a task list for him. He is working through it, but tires so very easily.

His meds make him tired. His treatments make him tired. His electro balances are making him tired as they fluctuate.

And all that aside - his friends - largely women - aren't calling with as much frequency. Every day he says around 9-10PM,

"Another day, no calls. "

It breaks my heart a little. THough he's not really a phone person, he needs to feel loved. By more than just me. Not that it's not enough from me, but he is a little bit of local celeb and it feels a little bit like abandonment. If you will recall from last summer - he has abandonment issues anyway so this is not a good thing.

Yes in a stupid way - grow up already. But during a time of illness, it's hurting him. Partially because the young ones - I refer to them as children - dion't know how to react to him so they just don't.

Then the woman-formerly-known-as-the-whore promised to call and didn't. Another crack in the hull.

I am setting up some gatherings with friends to make things be about him a bit. He is well loved, but going through a dry spell.

And this too will pass.