Tonight was the dress rehearsal for my concert. I felt that my solo sounded pretty good all things considering.
It was colored only by one thing. A death. My step - dad, who has been my step dad since I was 9 years old, lost his mom this morning at the age of 102. She was released to Hospice or comfort care last night and died this morning.
At that age, the loss, though important, is so much expected each day that we are more and more surprised when she is still breathing. Unfortunately at this age the last 6-8 months the dementia has been getting worse and worse.
I'm sad for UB ( my step dad) and my siblings who have lost a grandmother, my niece and nephews who have lost a great grandmother. I did not know her well. Or as well as I should have.
Some of her more entertaining moments of late through her dementia I could boil down to one. My mom, who has been taking care of her, was putting her to sleep when she patted my mom's hand and said "You're a nice woman, I'd like to introduce you to my son". My mom said something affirmative, walked into the living room an announced to UB, "Your mom approves of me, she wants to introduce us". Mind you they are in their 25th year of marriage.
We are wrapping this up fairly quickly, the wake is Sunday night, the funeral mass is Monday Morning with burial to follow.
My concert is tomorrow night and my parents are having a pre-planned gathering with some friends that we haven't seen in 10 + years tomorrow. I have a rehearsal for Andy Williams' concert on Sunday night. So I am now into conflicts. Do I attend the wake as I am tempted to do as my daughterly responsibility and miss my one chance to sing at Andy Williams Christmas show - it's an honestly tempting idea. I'll discuss it with the director tomorrow and see what his feeling is and then discuss it with my mom when I have all the info and then make a better decision.
Through all of this, I was driving home from my rehearsal and I passed the tree at EAB Plaza ( owned by Citigroup). I have a spectacular view of this tree from my conference center at my office. I usually ( If I actually show up there) go and sit in that room around 5 for 10 minutes and watch the sunset over the tree. It's beautiful.
Anyway. Passing the tree. I was listening to Star 99.9 on the radio as they have Christmas music on. I wasn't supposed to by singing at this stage of the game. I heard the most wonderful story on the Delilah show ( no idea if that's a person but whatever). A woman called in who had been through many doctors, fertility clinics, only to be told she had an inhospitable environment for pregnancy and her husband had low motility. They had, after 13 years of marriage and trying to have children, decided to adopt. They went to the local Children's home to find information. They were just starting to fill out the paperwork and start the research when her cousin called. She was giving birth any day and decided she really wasn't prepared or ready to become a mother. Knowing the familial situation of her cousin, she wanted them to adopt the baby immediately. The baby was born and handed to her new parents on Thanksgiving day.
It wasn't Christmas but if that didn't stop to make me realize a Christmas or any other time miracle I don't know what is. they named her Abigail and her middle name is the Hebrew word for miracle ( no I don't know it). What a fantastic story.
As I was driving home, I found myself smiling. Enjoying that moment, the holiday season and all the good things and feelings that brings. No I don't personally want children as a priority for me, but it's a touching miracle any way you look it. The DJ then ( maybe that's who Delilah is???) decided to play "What child is this".
I decided right then and there that this holiday season I was going to relax and enjoy it rather than run around like a nut.
I'm riding the wave....
No comments:
Post a Comment