More things learned

I'm less angry today but I know more than I did yesterday.

For openers, I am making a conscious effort not to take out my moods on my kids or my lovee ones.

That's going well actually.

Secondly the anger is fueled by a high frustration level. I have so much frustration due to situations that are beyond my control.

So I am stopping the madness now. I took a 15 minute nap in the middle of the day and it worked out better - I was much more in control and able to be more productive.

I need to exercize, hard, in the middle of the day. I need to get my frustrations out in a productive way. And I need to exercize anyway so that works out really well.... win win!!

I also have started using night time mantras. When the lights go out, I tell myself that I am going to sleep well and awake at (fill in time) and be refreshed, relaxed and revitalized. It's worked really well the last two nights.

I noticed that I ate an entire sleeve of low fat graham crackers today. Not liking that behaviour a whole lot, so I wrote it down and the time and what happened at that time in my food journal. I made a sign for my desk that says "No stress eating allowed".

I love the fact that I am able to look internally to myself now and see where I need to be better. I remember being 20 and thinking "I can't be wrong - the boss must be wrong" and I WAS wrong.

That isn't the case now, but I need a new approach that works better for me. Leader knows how to bait us, individually and as a team. I know what he is using as a hook for me, so I need to stop it and no longer react. It will be hard - really hard - but I need to try something ANYTHING to get past this.

Seriously though, my weight is coming down!!! I am not stress eating much at all because I noticed when I was doing it. I did eat a donut yesterday, but I counted it and accommodated in my dinner for those calories. Really - you can eat anything you want to lose weight as long as you balance it.

Take that all you carb control people!! I can eat pasta and lose weight - I can eat potatos ( though I don't like them much so I choose not to) and lose weight. I can eat BREAD, rolls, pastries and sweets - and still lose weight. I just can't eat an endles supply of them and there needs to be balance and accountability here.

I think I am slightly ahead of the curve on this one because the self awareness has kicked in.

I'm proud of me.