The dawn of 2008

In the wake of a rather boring New Years Eve.... largely because I fell asleep at 11:30 - a first, I might add..... I want to tell you about some plans I have for the New Year.

I hate resolutions. Let's face it, no one makes it past March and I'm being generous with March.

I like to think of New Years in a similar fashion to Lent. For those of you not familiar with Lent... Lent is the period of 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter where Jesus spent time in the dessert enduring temptations including those of Satan. It's a sort preparation for his crucifixion. Not a fun time to be sure.

It is customary in the Christian faith to give something up during Lent. The reason behind that is that we are preparing for the crucifixion.

OK I got a little bit deeper into lent than I had actually intended.... but hey, it's a learning experience, right?

So the idea of promising to DO something for the New year is similar in thought to giving something up for 40 days.

Especially when you look at the new twists that are going on with the Lenten "give - up" program as I call it. Now my faith also believes that maybe the giving up isn't as important as acquiring a new behaviour.... for example - perhaps you have decided to start volunteering during lent? that's just as good to the church as say, giving up chocolate ( and don't think for one minute that that doesn't go on). It's an interesting twist....

By the by, just as an aside, for those of you wondering, the whole eating fish on Fridays during Lent? Not religious in nature at all.... I hate to be the one to debunk this ( Seeing as how I have an entire post on debunking the bible coming dedicated to my sister in law), but its largely due to the fact that there was an overabundance of fish in biblical days..... you get the idea.

So having given this process some thought- I am not really jumping up and down to make resolutions. At the end of the day, what good is it going to do me? If I fail, my self esteem takes a hit because I put yet another set of unrealistic demands on myself? Thank you but I can do THAT without the pressure of a holiday anytime.

The fact is, I am taking a stand for myself this year. The only thing that I am resolving to do is what is best for me. I am going to really take the time to consider the choices I make in terms of what is good for the Contessa.

Oh I know what you are thinking......

Of course I will not be making choices that will harm another person in order to do what is right for me.... hello.... have we just met???

But I will be considering how the end results affect me more than I have been of late.

I will put forth this small example. Its huge for me, but small in the grand scheme.

I am on holiday from 12/21 through 1/7. While I am out, my Poodle is covering for me at work. Do you realize that every single working day from 12.21 through yesterday he has called me?

I am not taking his calls. I am on holiday. He has to think for himself. He is older than I am by 15 years.... come on now. He does this ALL THE TIME. And I can guarantee that those who are working right now with him are getting the full brunt of his whining and complaining about having to cover my work. He's so very predictable but I love him all the same.

Normally I would have called him back each time. My decision to not call him back is as much for his own good as it for my peace of mind.


Additionally, I plan to ask for help more and no, I don't mean the little things only. I have spent all of my life thinking I had to always be the strong independent type. Not to be reliant on others. To the point where I believe it as a sign of weakness. Each year I go through a holiday blues / Depression and this year went through one that brought me to my knees literally and emotionally and psychologically. Like never before in my life. Just at the point where I was unable to sleep more than 2 hours at a time and awaking so confused that I didn't know the day, time of where I was, I turned and asked my best friend for help.

Do we still need to talk about this - yes. But he's been so good. For all that he can be when he's in the throes of his own depression. Do I feel idiotic because mine is for stupid reasons while his is for real? sure.

I guess it's true that when you don't ask for help, you also deny those you love from showing they love you.

So this is my Non resolution year.

Happy 2008!