PLaying Ketchup - or Catch-up!

I know it's been a few days for you, my faithul readers.... So let me clue you in to how things are going:

At work, project SSB has generated a lot of work and re-work. Since this is a custom application that we are developing each plan has huge failure point. Not just internally to the company but at the customer side too. We have yet to hit our stride yet and are still overcoming many frustrating obstacles. No one's fault, it's just a matter of hitting the hurdle, communicating about it and finding a reasonable workaround that's timely and efficient for all parties. It's been stressful - but not too hideous.

I ran into a potential HR case, but stood up for myself and refused on the basis of ethics. HR Case abandoned. Things are OK now there.

Diet and Exercize: OK I haven't actually shown up at a Weight Watchers meeting in 3 weeks but I have been working super hard at it. What that meant for me today was, since my last weigh-in ( February 17), I had NO IDEA whether my efforts had paid off.

Well here's the reality. My weight is up. But would have been much higher had I not been making the efforts that I did the last three weeks. Additionally my clothing is bigger on me. So it's OK an I"ve made my peace with it. It's very possible for me to correct this even further by tightening up the reins even more. So I am at a peaceful alertness with things as they stand now.

My asthma and allergies are back at a manageable level so I have clearance to exercize again. Which I started on Thursday. And Friday I was unable to move like the 30 something I am, I felt 9 MILLION years old. But I loved it. I took a hot bath and relaxed in the tub wiht my book. Today, Saturday, I feel fabulous - so like the masochist that I am with this stuff, I will be exercizing again today.

Music is on a temporary Hiatus till Easter is over. HOly Week is HUGELY busy for me with services every night from Wed through Sunday. It is for my coach as well.

I had a wonderful conversation with my girlfriends at WW today. It was like the old times. The three of us were talking to one another about topics that we could all appreciate and participate in. I was really enjoying it. I missed it a lot. I'm so glad about it really. I missed those two!

I have big plans to hang pictures today, iron and change my curtains and slipcovers. I want to organize my CD's over the next few days. My plans are to light Yankee Candles and just go to work.

Oh and I bought a new toilet seat. It's very cool. It's kind of sad that I get excited by a toilet seat but I have wanted this one for awhile and it was way too expensive until now. It's still a bit pricey but has come down to my range. I also bought a teapot that matches my china pattern - it was reasonable and they no longer make them so it was a nice find.

I'm calling my emergency super to come fix the cold water tap in the house. Since the boiler incident last week, it doesn't work correctly. I am begging my neighbor to drill holes in my wall to hang my mirror for me as he has the correct type of drill for the plaster/cement combination that exists on the exterior and adjoining walls in the condo.

So Lots of good things happening now, still very frustrated with work, but things are getting better overall in the other areas of my life.

Hosting A Murder Mystery

I LOVE to entertain.

Up until now I have not done a lot - maybe 3-4 times a year for a large group and 5-6 times for 2-4 people.

So in honor of some friends birthdays ( of which one is normally my large group party in the winter), we decided to host a Murder Mystery.

This was a really great idea. I did some research on line and found a wonderful site that supplies everything one needs to Host a Murder Mystery Dinner.

I was able to find one called Murder on the French Riviera. This is really cool and supports 12 players and you can add non essential players for more guests.

It creates and emails the invitations. You can also print them and mail them if you need to. They provide and create individual webpages for each guest. these pages provide essentials on the character, their role in the crime, costume ideas and pregame clues.

The Host page controls the release of information, all the game materials that can be printed and coalated.

My party in two weeks will be a dinner party a la French style. We will have drinks ( martini's and Kir Royale or Champagne) and maybe a hot hors d'oevres or two. The Dinner menu will be:

1. iceberg wedge with melted blue cheese and crumbled bacon bits.
2. Creamy French Country Chicken Stew
3. French Breads and biscuits
4. zucchini with parmesan
5. San Andree Triple Creme with Baguette
6. Birthday cake ( not french but home made)
7. Wine - Both Red and White
8. Water - Flat and Sparkling

I have no intentions of over stuffing my guests this time. Every party I throw is always more food than we ever need.

I am planning to have my guests who want to bring something bring the bread, the martini makings, the hot hors d'oevres, the sparkling water and any other beverage that might strike their fancy.

The stew is the barefoot Contessa's and can be made ahead. The zucchini will need to be made that day - no big deal, that's it really. Everything is easily pre-assembled.

It goes with the game too - this should be a lot of fun and I am doing a LOT of prep work to make sure that the game is a success. I am going to take the game materials to a copy center and have color copies made and bound, name tags, I have candles. I am getting flowers that both birthday girls can take home and I am, as of today, assigning the gift purchase to someone else as it is too much for me to all of this.

So I will delegate some tasks. This party will be a wonderful success!!!!

More things learned

I'm less angry today but I know more than I did yesterday.

For openers, I am making a conscious effort not to take out my moods on my kids or my lovee ones.

That's going well actually.

Secondly the anger is fueled by a high frustration level. I have so much frustration due to situations that are beyond my control.

So I am stopping the madness now. I took a 15 minute nap in the middle of the day and it worked out better - I was much more in control and able to be more productive.

I need to exercize, hard, in the middle of the day. I need to get my frustrations out in a productive way. And I need to exercize anyway so that works out really well.... win win!!

I also have started using night time mantras. When the lights go out, I tell myself that I am going to sleep well and awake at (fill in time) and be refreshed, relaxed and revitalized. It's worked really well the last two nights.

I noticed that I ate an entire sleeve of low fat graham crackers today. Not liking that behaviour a whole lot, so I wrote it down and the time and what happened at that time in my food journal. I made a sign for my desk that says "No stress eating allowed".

I love the fact that I am able to look internally to myself now and see where I need to be better. I remember being 20 and thinking "I can't be wrong - the boss must be wrong" and I WAS wrong.

That isn't the case now, but I need a new approach that works better for me. Leader knows how to bait us, individually and as a team. I know what he is using as a hook for me, so I need to stop it and no longer react. It will be hard - really hard - but I need to try something ANYTHING to get past this.

Seriously though, my weight is coming down!!! I am not stress eating much at all because I noticed when I was doing it. I did eat a donut yesterday, but I counted it and accommodated in my dinner for those calories. Really - you can eat anything you want to lose weight as long as you balance it.

Take that all you carb control people!! I can eat pasta and lose weight - I can eat potatos ( though I don't like them much so I choose not to) and lose weight. I can eat BREAD, rolls, pastries and sweets - and still lose weight. I just can't eat an endles supply of them and there needs to be balance and accountability here.

I think I am slightly ahead of the curve on this one because the self awareness has kicked in.

I'm proud of me.

Anger and things learned

I have a really long fuse.

And I am not a yeller or a screamer.

Most people don't know that unless they are really close.

I get overly sarcastic at times....

But honestly - anger? rarely. Irritated, annoyed and frustrated. But rarely angry.

But when my fuse runs out - beware....................


I attended a 9:30AM call that has been moved 4 times since 9AM and twice since Friday.

I hate these calls regardless of date and time because they are never structured, there is no agenda and when interaction is requested it is always met defensively and all opinions are immediately invalidated.

So having this call first thing on a Monday morning was not setting the necessary tone for the week.

I decide that I am getting on the call but not involving myself, I just couldn't expend anymore emotional energy on this weekly call.

But leader certainly knows how to bait each and every one of us. And Leader does it. But doesn't want to hear any of the feedback that is being requested. But FL girl she makes some commentary, stating fact, and leader lies right to us, using the CYA tactic. I feel obligated to back FL girl up as I was present in the same meeting, so I venture my facts along with hers, and quelle surprise - we are both being shot down and lied too. I decide it's time to retreat temporarily and I IM FL girl and advise her of this. By now leader is mad as a hatter.

So NYC guy jumps in and starts talking about other things. Brooklyn Girl asks me for some assistance on SSB Project and CB project - we essentially started talking to another and leaving leader to listen in. I made sure that everyone's workload was manageable and started to wrap up the non productive 30 minutes of the week.....

But no, Lead starts talking about metrics and how this is the first time we are using them. Again, I can't let this go. So I mention that we have been measured on Metrics since before him. We both drop it. Leader is bound and determined to be right, so I stop speaking altogether. My team however is incensed. So they are fighting leader on a variety of topics now.

I have my phone on mute - I'm pretty sure. I look at the phone, mute light flashing merrily and I say in the most venomous tone that scared in me..... "Can't you just shut the &*()@!) up????"

I go on to say "SOMETHING STUPIDLY INAPPROPRIATE?"

" Why can't you just stop making additional work for everyone so you can take credit and look like a hero ?"

Then I realize I am actually screaming at my muted phone. My neighbors could hear me.

And swearing.

And wishing it wasn't 10:15 AM so I Could have a glass of red wine and I don't even drink all that much!

Then I got past screaming and just venom was coming out of every pour. My team started calling one by one to make sure that I was Ok...

I honestly can tell you that FL Girl made an interesting point. Leader beats up on her a lot and I take severe umbrage to that. She told me that she awoke at 6AM and took her phone off the hook and turned the cell off and went back to bed. Then she mentioned that leader makes her really angry and frustrated and then she takes it out on her ailing parent. I thought about that and realized that I do that too.

When I say nothing and even when I choose to say something, it's not what I need to say and it would fall on deaf ears anyway since the fact is, leader is of the belief that staff is not necessary to run the account since leader did it successfully in the smaller company for 1 year. It shows an amazing amount of ego, that statement does. What it shows if anyone is paying attention is that the smaller company had less business. But that statement can't be made without political uprisings.

I realized through this conversation with Fl Girl that I was taking this out on my poor kids. These kids work hard during the week and don't deserve to be yelled at by me. Even if they don't put in the time they should, I have been WAY too hard on them. Over the top too hard.

At 5pM I changed my clothes into an outfit that I feel good in and went out to teach my kids. The two that I have are not usually two that I need to have a problem with even on a bad week but I really paid close attention to my interactions with them. I was so wrapped up in this stupid situation, I almost messed up a NYSSMA festival date for 2 kids because of school break and vacations. Thank goodness the one I had today I was able to work out and negotiate for her and enable her to make her requirements for the school she attends in addition to the festival itself. Phew!!!! I won't make that mistake a second time tomorrow!

I feel bad that my kids have taken a beating of late, so I have made up my mind that they deserve a better experience with me. I love my kids and adore teaching them. They deserve a kinder and more understanding teacher.

I am simply not going to be baited anymore. I am going to address leader like an elderly dog. We love the dog and the dog may piddle in the corner so we train the dog with some strong words and a perhaps rap on the rump.

It was quite a day.

The land of Amazons

I am short.

and no, It's not the handicap that some may think it is, but the fact remains that I am 5' 2".

62" in total.

I love my height and so do my seamstresses. I keep them in business. EVERYTHING is long on me - including the petite length - though I do better there.

So here's what happened.

I attended a party with my 6' friend Jenna. It was a partylite candle party. She's stunning and tall. and Blonde.

I am a sucker for candles and so is Jenna. Ideal.

We walk into this home where the hostess is also a 6 foot blonde. I don't pay it a lot of mind at the time.

Until

Another 6' blond walks in.

Still not daunted....

We continue to chatter, drink wine and snack....

ANOTHER 6' blond walks in.

I am starting to wonder about my genetics now...

By the time we were done there were 6 of them - 3 related to one another. I felt like I was on Island of the Amazons - and you know what? One of them had been asked to audition for that film!!!! She declined because she had kids and that would have been taken her on location for several months.

Nice people, fun party, ate too much, spent too much and feel ....

Too short.

Update on yesterday

No one got her the stroller.

I could have predicted that - but no one got her the stroller and no one mentioned it either.

As far as I am concerned it was one more baby shower under my belt. I have at least one more in my family coming in the next year or so.

I think I am going to start having pet showers. Whenever I get a new cat, we are going to have a cat shower in which I can ask people to get me wonderful things such as:

An automatic litter box - you know the one that cleans itself???
Toys for my kitties
Food
Brushes
Medical Insurance gift cards
Frontline Flea and Tick contr ol
Cat litter
Kitty Condo's and/or beds
a cardboard box or two for them to play with
a remote control mouse
a laser pointer
Cat bowls that are personalized with their names
donations to their college accounts ( that's actually going to be towards their major medical and burial)
Some really Chic carriers - soft ones that are good for interior air travel but enables me to put one cat in each one and not kill my arms or back.

Since I am not intending to have children, I think this is more than fair. There is not one thing on this list that counts as an 800.00 gift. In fact, I don't think the entire list comes up to 800.00.

I had a friend who had a first birthday party for her three kittens. Seriously. She invited all people who have cats, we came and brought them gifts and then sat around and drank martinis and ate snacks. It was a blast. Stupid, but a blast. Any excuse to have a party.

I'm no better though, I make my cats open their Christmas gifts by lacing the paper with catnip.

Baby Showers

Please, will SOMEONE explain to me the necessity of owning a Bugaboo Stroller at the tune $759.00?????

Seriously.

Tomorrow is my sister's baby shower.

I begrudge her nothing.

I looked at her baby registry and picked some nice items off her list that don't break the bank. Her registry is full of important and useful things. All of which are in the reasonable price range.

Except this damn stroller.

Now, I really need to know. Is this thing made of Gold????? Does it cook and clean as you walk the baby? Will it CHANGE the baby when that is needed? Does it provide rest for the poor weary mom?

For the life of me, I cannot understand that price tag. It's a STROLLER.

What on earth were they thinking and I posed the question to my new friend / neighbor - what the hell is so damn special about this ( citing all the above sarcastically). She sighed, and said, that they are all the rage in Manhattan and you can see them everywhere.

I have never seen A stroller let alone and 800 dollar stroller anywhere in Manhattan ( largely because I never go in to site see so unless the baby is doing magic tricks in said stroller I wouldn't notice. I go in, get my work done, have a post work drink with my colleagues and head home. I hate Manhattan to be honest. As much as I hate it - I love it too.

So while I do believe that what she is saying is true, I can't recall having seen one.

So I took my question to my sister-in-law. She too, sighed, and said "oh yes - that's the Rolls Royce of strollers.... "

The Rolls Royce of strollers?

That's a first. I'm having a lot of those "firsts" lately.

I wish her luck but as of now, its still on her registry.

Mental Health and Marshmallows

The modification of my eating system has been working really well so far. I did OK at the restaurant last night too - I went over my daily allotment, but not by a significant amount so I borrowed from the "bank" that I am given each week.

I am still losing weight and I now starting to feel good too.....

So I took half of a mental health day. At noon I shut down my email. and I turned on Pretty Woman. Wolfi and I sat there happily with my coffee. He was purring and we were content.

At 2:30 I changed my clothes and went out to teach a piano lesson. From there, I went to teach a voice lesson. Then, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - I went to get my nails done.

What a blessed relaxing hour. I got hand and arm massages, UV light to harden the gel on my nails is light therapy for my hand ( it helps clear up the eczema and hold it off).

It reached 58 degrees today. Gorgeous. Truly Gorgeous. The pollen started and I have requisite headache and I noticed that my skin is a little hive-y from the eczema (allergic dermatitis actually but we treat it the same as the eczema). I took a long relaxing bath when I got home. Put the treatments on my skin ( they are so lovely now....and work much better). I did the spray oil and a cream on the face.

I had a delicious dinner consisting of one and half cups of Barilla PLus Rotini, Sauce and chicken sausage left over from the batch I grilled on Tuesday. It was heavenly.

But the highlight of my night was the Swiss Miss Marshmallow lovers fat free hot chocolate.

I love the Marshmallows more than chocolalte itself. Now this mini wonder always brings a dreamy smile to my face when I take that first sip. I have made Marshmallow fluff from scratch and used it as icing for cupcakes and cakes. It's heavenly in any form. I love it on ice cream literally anything. I have eaten marshmallows and the fluff plain.

It literally has no fat. It's entirely sugar. Quite literally. Corn Syrup, egg whites and sugar.

I love all things made with marshmallow - candy corn is a personal favorite at Halloween ( little known fact but they are made primaril from marshmallow!)

So my special end of night treat is hot mug full of hot chocolate with the tiniest marshmallows ever created. I have been known to add my own when they melt down too much.

So my day ended on a lovely note and I have made this my new nightly ritual. Hot Chocolate wiht mini marshmallows. ( For those of you on WW - it's only 1 point - SWEET).

Yummmmmmm

one of the many reasons work is hard right now

My poor team has it really rough. We are going through a really bad time with leadership and we are starting to turn on each other.

Upstate Guy put a moratorium on new work last Wed. He had perfectly good justification with four projects on his plate and RFP that he was asked by Capt More-on to review. Of course when asked why he was addressing the RFP by Capt More - on, he was obligated to say, because you told me too. So you see what we are dealing with here.

So I diligently changed the rotation for those kinds of orders and put UPstate guy at the end and put FL Girl and NYC guy in the first two slots, NC Guy, then Myself, then Upstate guy.

That worked wonderfully from Wednesday until today.

NYC Guy send me an IM that says, "maxed out - no more orders".

No explanation, no justification. Just that.

I will work with anyone in a situation. But this just PISSED ME OFF. I am not good when I am being dictated too like that.

So I told him that he is leaving me in the lurch and what has he got that is so blank blank important that he can make that statement and not justify it.

So I drafted an email.

Then I went back and reviewed Update Guy, FL Girl and NYC guys Workload. I noticed that NYC Guy had twice as much as FL girl in this area.

So I pinged her on IM and explained this unique position. She, always coming to my rescue, said to "bring it on".

Now I know that can't be indefinite so I have to put some reasonable controls in place. I am NOT taking this above me for any reason whatsoever. Lordy - I would stll be having THAT conversation from this morning.

So I retrieve my drafted email and come up with this one:

"Look, we are in a bind. I know that our volumes are slightly above average but they are manageable. We all know why that is too. We need to tell the customer’s when their due dates are out of whack more often and I will be rejecting orders as needed moving forward for poor due dates without expedites.

That’s the long term solution.

For the short term:

Starting today – there will be no holds on orders unless you are on an approved project. At this point, because of “holds” due to perceived volume I am down to ONE person working voice. With the volumes that come in, this isn’t acceptable.

At this point, Upstate Guy has projects that need to complete. He and I have been in constant contact regarding this and his workload has been justified as a project and his time table to resume day to day orders is Friday of this week.

NYC Guy does have the next highest volume and to give him a chance to clear that up, he won’t be assigned orders until Friday.

ALL orders will start coming to the mailbox – NYC GUY, make arrangements with Business unit P by end of next week to start routing their work through the mailbox, I will make sure you are the primary so you will still work that stuff and it will just be for managing purposes. I simply cannot judge what your workloads are if the orders aren’t coming through here.

Anyone else who is receiving orders from an alternate source, please make the same arrangements.

Please confirm when completed.

If you are taking an order that has not come through the mailbox YET from the Voice or data teams…. Please send a note to the mailbox and advise me so I can make sure that it gets routed properly to you.

Clear your decks folks. Friday the rotation starts with the following orders:

In this order:

Upstate Guy, NYC guy, FL Girl, NC Guy, Contessa for toll free voice in that order
NYC Guy, FL Girl, Borough Girl will be trained to offload some of this, NC Guy and Contessa for Dedicated Voice
Upstate Guy, Borough Girl, Contessa, NC Guy, FL Girl, NYC Guy for discos
Contessa, FL Girl, Borough Girl, NC Guy, NYC Guy for data.

I do NOT want this back in Capt Moron's court or he will be assigning orders and believe me WE DO NOT WANT THAT.

FL Girl will cover through Friday so Upstate Guy and NYC Guy can catch up

Please guys, help me out here.

Thanks, The Contessa"

and that's how we tentatively solved the great workload problem of First Quarter 2007.

Spring the first day.

I love two seasons - Spring and Fall.

I look forward to them every single year.

I love Spring because this is the beginning of warmer weather, flowers, sunshine, birds chirping and all kinds of things like that.

I have some Spring rituals in my home that I like to do each year. One is to change out my yankee candles. I switch off from scents like evening fireside, pumpkin pie, mulled cider and gingerbread to scents like Ocean water, Clean cotton and two new ones I added this year, Midnight Cove and Sun and Sand.

Another ritual I have is to change the linens in my home. I change from dark warm velvets on my windows and couch to actual linen slip covers on couch and linen and sheers on the windows. I press them all out, hang them, launder the winter ones and put them away for next year.

I also change from a table cloth and linen napkins to placemats in the Dining room. I change the glasses that are out to my spring glasses. These are my favs. They are handpainted and came with a pitcher. What to put in that? I'm thinking Sangria this weekend. Yum. Maybe I can get Mariana to send me her recipe from her Argentinina family....

In my bedroom I take the flannel duvet off the bed, launder and put away and pull out my spring and summer bedding. This is my favorite too. It's luxorious and lovely. I sleep like dream in it.

I change my personal Fragrances also. THe Coco by Chanel and Patchouli go away and the Calvin Klein, Bobbi Brown and Burberry scents go on my tray on my dresser.

I launder the mosquito netting and sheer white roman shade on the windows. I dust the top of the wooden valances and put some nice trinkets up there that reflect spring for me.

I wash the windows crystal clear, I polish my silver and start opening the windows more.

I have a new super being hired here so I have to wait on having my mirror hung in the foyer.

I have new pictures to hang in the house from some performances at Carnegie Hall. So I have some things to re-arrange.

I am so excited that Spring is here. This is so wondereul and I am scheduling some "house" time for me already so I cann accomplish these things so I can enjoy them during this season.

SPring is time of re-birth really. I speak of this, not only from a religious standpoint, but also from a nature standpoint. I order flowers to be delivered for the house each time they deliver groceries. Tulips, daisies and Daffodils. I always mentally and emotionally feel my best during spring.

The only downside is all this new growth drives my allergies beserk. A small price to pay for the beauty.

Spring has Sprung! A happy spring to you all!

A random Tuesday

I have a WW leader who always said "You don't gain weight from Thanksgiving or Christmas. You gain weight because of a random Tuesday... Wednesday.... Thursday etc."

I fully agree with that. In fact I eat healthier on those days than any other time of the year.

I tried to figure out why that was.

Because people are watching me eat.

I went to a meeting last night and I noticed right away that there were veggies and dip and fruit and dip. I don't get many veggies and these looked good so ate the veggies. I had almost a whole serving in. They were good.

When people watch me eat, I notice my behaviour is stellar. Interestingly enough.

So I started eating in my home as if people were watching.

So much better.

In a week and a half 4-5 lbs have come off.

Meanwhile, I have been working hard at just taking care of me. I have been luxoriating in dead sea salt baths every single night. I am sleeping better. I am up to one glass of wine per week. I am drinking tons of water. The one thing that I can't control is my job.

This started out to be a post about my job. I had one all drafted up. it's still drafted but I decided that Title Troubles has it right. Who wants to spend their time reliving and writing about the assholes at work and more importantly who the hell wants to read about that?

So I decided that since this job is just a job right now... I would avoid it. I love my career choices but I am not loving my circumstances right now. I talked to Jax about this evening and it sucks but I'm not going to focus on it during the times I don't need to be there.

It's a random Tuesday in March. The weather is starting to warm up. I have new music to learn ( A little known musical fact about me - I hate Lieder - all of it. ) and more motivation.

Honestly. that performance on Sunday accomplished a goal that I have had. It's not a published on prioir to now. My goal was to blow away the end of the performance so well that the Diva left in a huff. And a huff she did.

I'm not a vindictive person,. but she has put me through a lot in the past 4 years.

The best revenge is being successful ( and living well). So I guess I got both.

Well... this is a first

So, I had a performance today.

One of the groups I perform with regularly does a fund raiser ( for themselves no less) one time per year. This year we did it in our church.

The fundraiser features 2 -4 numbers by the chorale that are light and fun and then solo's, duet's, trios etc..... it's great fun and is usually excellent.

We had a really good house and this year we did a severely reduced rate to bring in two adult group homes. It was such a joy to see how much they were enjoying themselves. All adults.

One young man sat at a table on stage right. He was very sweet, smiled at everyone and said hello. He conducted when the director did and was truly enjoying himself.

Until the solo acts started.

Now to be fair, I didn't notice it with anyone else because I was not scanning the crowd for reactions to the different acts. I watched and laughed and cried with all different types of music and every single person did a phenomenal job. We heard songs from Yentl, Die Fledermaus, Three Penny Opera ( NOT Mack the Knife), some wonderful little known Cole Porter tunes ( THe little Oyster if you can find it has lyrics that will make your sides hurt from laughing and Cherry Pies Aughta be you is another absolute sided splitter), Romeo and Juliet, Rigoletto, Josh Grobin, My Fair Lady - literally everything all over board.

My Tune was Je Veux Vivre from Romeo and Juliette. One I wanted to do on my recital program and it was ready then, but we didn't and I don't remember why. Be that as it may, it's a really beautiful Waltz tune and has some good opps for the singer to show off their voices.

So I am really doing a good job ( I suck at memorizing and I was really stressed about that) so far and I feel I am getting good feed back form the audience as I continue. I hit the last note, A sustained High C. I happen to look stage right and happy young man from group home yells out TOO LOUD and stands up and covers his ears.

I nearly burst out laughing. It had such comic overtones that I had to stop looking that way till that note, and the song , was over. I would have fallen over laughing - I'm telling you,

So, at the end of the concert, people were telling me what a wonderful I and the group did, but do you know more people came over to tell me about the young guy yelling? I couldn't stop laughing. Evidently according to everyone else he had been doing it to everyone all through the concert except for the men. This was nice to hear because that would have sucked if he had saved that up for me.

Cute musician man who we haven't heard from in awhile was there. He was the one who shared with me that young man was doing that to everyone. Of course musician man appeared to be unable to determine that I was singing in French. I was concerned briefly that my words weren't reaching the back of the room when I heard that but no, that wasn't it, He was sleeping! His brother woke him halfway through my number when they realized it was me.... Very funny. He got a promotion by the way.... :-) I don't anticipate anything major happening here to be honest, which is sad for him really. ( That is how I am looking at it... so just go with that for now. )

So I have to say.....

This, was a first!

Being Neighborly

I have lived in my current residence coming up on 3 years in April.

The amazing conglomerate of people that reside here has found me to be nice and charming, but I don't really connect with anyone. By the large majority people here tend to be older in a very different place in their lives, or they just aren't social.

I live in a specific area where my immediate neighbors are approachable and friendly and we keep up to date on each other in the parking lot, the hallways, elevators, mailroom etc. But we don't socialize.

Now I have borrowed Ice from the couple across the hall, I have watched the kids of the couple next door one or two times and assisted the lady down the hall with her cats when they are ill. My neighbor next door is wonderful as well.

So two years ago, a woman moved in across the way. We've been friendly and somewhat social when we see each other until this year. I would say the last 4-5 months.

We know a lot of the same people. She grew up in this town and so did I ( to a point). We are the same age, but did not attend the same schools. Consequently, unless I was a regular at the public library ( which I am not - though I am an avid reader - I buy my books), our paths would not have crossed if we hadn't moved into this building.

We had exchanged phone numbers around Thanksgiving in the event of an emergency and found ourselves talking on the phone more and more frequently. We both attended a wake together as the family were friends of mine and she grew up next door ( and no we still didn't meet). She is active in the community and so am I, though ironically not as much in my own community as others....

We have a ton in common. We are the same age 3 months apart - ( I won't tell ou which one is older). We have opinions in common that are not in the mainstream either which is funny. And we tend to blurt those things out when we least expect it. It's always a trip.

We have the condo's best interests at heart and we do a lot of talking and sharing of ideas on h ow to keep the building nice and how to improve it cost - efficiently. We talk about heating, extermination, snow removal, additions of a fence, better parking, new superintendents, the new lobby ( stunning by the way - I'll try to take pictures and upload). We then select the most reasonable top three and bring those to our semi annual owners meetings.

By now you must know that I am not shy. Neither is she. librarianchic is a blast to hang out with and I really was truthfully surprised. This year I have made 3 new good friends. Out of the blew...... My Voice Twin, The "good" girl and Librarianchic.

I was the child that had the report cards come back to my mom saying "Good social skills.... sometimes too good. makes Friends easily. talks too much in class" But in more recent years I have been paring down my circle rather than enhancing it. No good reasons why, maybe dynamics change, lives go in different directions, or the universe just decided this particular relationship has served its purpose and time to move on.

So it delights me to no end to have these three women in my life in their capacitys. I have amazing fun with all of them. Laughter is so important to me. If we aren't having fun - what's the point?

Maybe not the quintessential people pleaser after all

I did something interesting Tuesday and Wednesday without even realizing it.

I truly put myself first.

It was work-related to start with. I have a project that I will refer to as Project SSB. I was going

I realize that I have to this completed on Tuesday NIGHT for them to be ready on Wednesday morning.

I looked at my schedule. I had 2 kids to teach and I had to pick up my house and get it ready for my housekeeper to come on Wednesday when she normally comes on a Friday.

So I looked at the workload and re-arranged the kids to other days and re-scheduled the housekeeper to another day as well.

I was so amazed and proud of myself for putting my needs ahead of everyone elses.

Of course, that not withstanding, I did drive out in an Ice storm pelting me and my car with pellets of ice ( fairly large by the way) so that I could give one of my students a final lesson before his solo festival. It didn't even occur to me to check the website to see if it was postponed.

It was.

I drove in that nightmare for nothing. But my kids and their parents were extremely thankful. I got a bottle of Body Glimmer Wash in strawberry fizz from Victorias Secret as a thank you. Yum.

Poor Poodle

Seriously - I love him to death. He knows it, I know it - pretty much everyone knows it.

I torment him though.

You see, somehow I can find the person on my team, always, who fall for my childish practical jokes.

Never EVER aimed to hurt, Poodle has been on the receiving end of the great toilet scam, the Barclays Barking Robots and the very first and a classic, never before written about, Becky.

We have a long history together. Nothing can make us laugh faster than a good practical joke. We are so immature that we have taken to leaving VM's with funny things on it.... Once he left the title track to "Oklahoma" on during a particularly hairy project in said state. I have left classic clips from "will and grace" and "the Birdcage" on his VM.

When I did most of my work in an office, I was often surrounded by empty desks for the amount of laughing that I did. It was A LOT. Less now.... but sadly there's less to laugh at.

But most recently in talking about our early years on the team together, the Becky story came up.

We have a help desk in our company. Becky works for this Help desk - or helpless desk as we call it when her station in the ACD rings. She gets on with a very specific pronounced conglomerate accent that's nearly untraceable. One of my first days on the team, Poodle and I were on the phone and he put me on hold because Becky was calling him back.

He gets back on the line with me, and says:

"Can you believe her? Becky belongs in the Order prevention department !" ( A fictitious place we use as a catchall when we are being thwarted at delivering prompt and good customer service).

A momentary pause....

"Poodle, this is Becky" I mimic nearly perfectly....

dead silence.

"uh, um, hmmm - " Stammers Poodle

I foil my own jokes though because I can't contain my laughter. I burst out laughing and he lost it. The two of us were howling with laughter.

Bringing me to yesterday. I was in the middle of a serious rant with him over conditions in the workplace and dealing with "delivery and execution" crappola from above. I was literally having a fit. I was swearing like a drunken sailor. ( that's my real vice guys - I seldom drink, no drugs, no smoking - I swear and I like it. ) I couldn't take it anymore. He finally laughs and tells me he doesn't understand my management techniques upwards at all. He can't fathom yelling at those above and giving then directives. But it works for me and it gets results.

I calmed down for a moment. Paused and said,

"Poodle, anyone can be trained. You just have to know what their hotspot is. - look we trained you!"

silence then uproarious laughter.

The kid was back....

Branching out

I attempte to branch out with my food choices today.



I was VERY VERY stressed from my job. In fact - I shut off my instant messengers ( all 4) and forwarded my phone to voice mail so no one would bother me. Only those trusted members of my staff knew to call my home directly.



I did eventually sign on to the one my boss doesn't know about or have access too. I needed to have other's visible even if I was too busy to "chat" - the task at hand was just too critical for me to be MIA.

I had 28 large sub tasks to accomplish by 5PM. I only got started truthfully at 1. I was pretty impressed that I was down to keying each one in in roughly 6 minutes when I was on a roll.

I got 26 out 28 in by 5 and the other 2 done before the end of the person's workday who needed it ( lord bless central standard time).

But I inhaled a lunch literally eaten with 1 hand ( A Weight watchers "smartwich" if you are interested - pepperoni and cheese - 6 points) while I keyed in with the other. I took a 5 minute break annd one of my cats and I sat on the couch while I ate an activia fat free yogurt and he looked longingly at it hoping to get some when I was finished - alas - mais non pour le pussy-cat!
I went and taught some kids that I haven't taught in 2 months due to contruction and major piano renovations done. Kids did well for a two month Hiatus. I got to have 2 light beers with their mom ( 4 points if anyone cares) and did some rapid calculations for dinner....

I could have either 2 slices of Pizza and a hot chocolate

Or

1 cup of brown rice with cheese and 3 girl scout cookies with tea.

I went with the pizza.

I have an addiction to pizza, but the minute I decided that I was happening I called in my order for 2 slices to be ready when I got there, then I wouldn't get tempted for a third while I was there giving my order.

I ate my slices slowly in wonderment - not yet with a knife and fork but that will come soon. I took a hot lovely bath.

And now I must go .... My hot cocoa is done.

Things are going super well.

Genealogy

I recently discovere my Scottish heritage.

Ironically, it was from reading a book. A fictional series by Lilian Jackson Braun title "The cat who...." It takes a place in a ficitious town "400 miles north of anywhere". The main character is a newspaper man who comes into money. He has two Siamese cats. He is dating the head librarian of the town who's last name is Duncan.

In one book, her sister is getting married and using traditional Scottish Garb. Mrs. Duncan the librarian is wearing the clan sash, her sister too.... the millionaire is wearing full Scottish regalia of the Macintosh clan. This sparked a question for me.

You see Duncan is a last name that is part of the Robertson Clan. My Great Grand father was Stewart Robertson. A light bulb went off.

So I started searching and looking and found that branch of the family. It's HUGE. Evidentally Robertson is like Smith in US. But they are all inter-related. So I have a truckload of family in country I have never been to.

But I found our tartan. I sent My grandmother ( the daughter of the Scotsman) A wool scarf made out of our hunting tartan. Its somewhat similar to Blackwatch without the yellow...

I was so excited when I found this. I love geneology and wish I had more patience for it. I know I am German primarily, but also Scottish, a tiny bit of Irish, Austrian, Belgian, French, Hungarian and I am sure there is more. It's easier for me to tell you what I am not than what I am.

The great majority is German. My Dad was entirely German and my mom is 25% German, 25% Austrian and 50% all the rest.

I guess I'm a Contessa but I just don't have ONE country - I have MANY!

Eating by the numbers

I have tried the unit eating plan for 1 day and I was successful.

surprisingly so.

And happy - go figure.

Happy because I wasn't overly hungry, I was comfortable and I was not resentful in the slightest.

Clearly this was the way to go.

On Caramel Pie: I feel that I should elaborate based on some of the comments that came back....

To Title Troubles: Dreaming of caramel pie isn't the problem - for me. It was eating it! ALL of it - without caring. No more pie when I am in this mindset. Not never, just not now....... I'll virtually save you a piece!

To Post-Doc: I blame myself for tossing out my own lessons learned so light heartedly for something so heavenly. I love your recipes and I love trying them! they are always soooo good. You too get a virtual piece saved!

Caramel Pie is delicious concoction that turns out to be 8 points per average sized slice. In another mindset, one I am not currently in but am working towards, I could factor that slice in and not need to eat more - even knowing it was in the house. But , for right now, it's better for me to not have sweets in the house and eat straight into units.

Units are foods that are already portioned out. I am doing much better with that. A yogurt, a veggie burger, one hot cocoa packet, one serving of Girl Scout cookies ( these I portioned out myself and left all in the car but the one portion I planned to eat and 2 Samoas'= 3 points).

It reads extreme. But I am calling it eating boot camp for me. Once the behaviours are re-established, I can start being more flexible and working new foods and weights and measures into it. Otherwise I have the tendancy to have measurements that are way off - using my eyes rather than the tools, scales, measuring cups - all of that.

Trust me when I tell you that this is a life long project. When one plan doesn't work, you have to find another that will. It's seasonal sometimes, it's event driven at others. Right now, I"m at a seasonal situation AND an event driven situation - so it's back to pre-packaged or pre-portioned out food choices. Soon new vegetables will arrive and they will be fresh and wonderful so I can add back salads....

I just keep plugging away, modifying as I go. I will find the formula that works - for now, write it down and refer to later when I need a trick.

I so optimistic now - I feel wonderful!

The great resentment

I'm having a mental block with Weight Watchers.

I did not go to the meetings the last two weeks due to conflicts in schedule and illness. I rarely miss one let alone two meetings. And that may be the issue here.

The bottom line is I resent having to eat less of what I like. it could be the healthiest food on earth and I will find away to eat more than I should.

I have eliminated sweets from my house with few exceptions. I have substituted Dannon Activia Low fat yogurts ( Raspberry is YUMMY), Dannon Light and fit smoothies, banana's and low fat graham crackers.

That has actually solved my sweet tooth problem. If I run into the need for Chocolate, Swiss Miss comes riding in to save the day with her fat free Marshmallow lovers hot chocolate made with water and skim milk.

My problem seems to be quantity not quality.

One of the major benefits to writing this blog is it helps me problem solve better. Learning from yourself is the best lesson I think. Reading other's blogs can be helpful as well. ( Post-Doc don't describe Caramel Pie Anymore - I DREAM about it!!!! Only kidding.... better to read about it than eat it)

In writing this post, it appears time for me to start eating what I call unit foods. Foods that are single serve sizes, prepackaged either by the manufacturer or by me in advance. That will keep my eating more uniform till I get the behaviours learned and consistent.

I need to get consistency into my exercise also which will be a challenge for this week.

It's very important that I take care of this and not quit. The weight has to get to a manageable point and as Lisa so rightly said - I'm tired of being the fat girl in pictures. I hear that.

So on the heels of finishing my homemade mac and cheese ( Barilla plus pasta = 3 WW points per cup, Brummel and BRown yogurts spread = 1 WW point per serving, a splash of skim milk and 1 oz of land o lakes sliced american cheese ( usually 2 slices)= 2). Total of 5 points per cup.

I ate 3 cups.

I had 13 points left

I owe somebody 2

I think I owe it to me.

allergies

I keep forgetting that allergy season is bursting to get started.

I'm not having that problem yet as it really hasn't started here yet, but I was reminded by the pollen notifications that started arriving in my inbox.

I have a tendancy to check the forecasted pollen as much in advance as they can tell me so I can medicate appropriately.

I have a cold right now - not a bad mind bending cold that has me hacking and coughing, but it is knocking me out and keeping me very tired. So it was with some level of surprise that at 5:00 yesterday my eyes started itching and tearing and the goo is in there. I took my eye drops ( I have an antibiotic, an allergy and a steroid that I have to take in the form of eye drops when this happens) and took a zyrtec 6 hours earlier than normal, but still within the prescription limits. Then I got the icepack out for my eye to keep the swelling down. Then the sneezing started and then the overwhelming need to sleep came over me.

I kind of feel like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz when this happens. Her overwhelming need to sleep when she see's the poppy's always felt more like a pollen induced phenomen the the Wicked Witch's. I real;y never understood how the witch could take credit for that.

So now I have to leave half an hour after this starts to teach a piano lesson. I walk in with an ice pack and they look at it, and no one asks any questions. This makes me laugh. But by the time I leave there, I am feeling much better. I guess I didn't look scary, the kids didn't comment.

I get home and notice that the flowers that I was given last week, were drooping and the pollen was lying on the top of my entertainment center. This is about 2 feet from my desk. Ah Ha!!!!

I really can't clean it up in my current condition. I have to wait - but I know what it is now that caused this premature pollen issue.

But the ever need to sleep and rest due to the pollen prevailed. I went to bed at 11:30 with the expectation that I would be able to be up between 9-10. I woke up at 4 went to bed again at 5 and slept till 11:30. Not exactly 12 hours, but still substnatially more than I tend to sleep. I am assuming I needed it. I am going to have to be really active and busy today if I intend to succeed wtih DST tonight. I don't do well with any time changes.

Anywhere. No matter where I go with a time change, my joke is, I can't even make it through DST or the change back without backlash to my sleeping patterns. 1 hour, 3 hours, 6 hours - no can do. When I am overtired I get nautious which is a curious sensation for me as I rarely deal with that.

So I skipped my voice lesson because of the allergy attack and I canceled it last night as I knew I would be useless this morning. And I was.

I need to get well from the cold and the allergies. I don't normally whine about something that is so commonplace for me. But I had two fabulous weeks so I really want to get back to that.