On getting help and giving help

"OK, lady, tell me what's going on. I saw tears from the choir loft." Father Christopher said.

"I didn't think anyone noticed. Rather - I hoped that no one would have noticed. My emotions are really close to the surface right now." I said.

"Does this have to do with anyone with the initial "S'? " He asked

" NO - she and I are fine. nothing amiss between stepmom and I" I countered

"OK, lets make an appointment and talk. This isn't like you. " He pulls out his palm pilot.

I love that priest has a palm pilot. I think that's a hoot - we did discuss the pro's and cons of a blackberry also.


"What's good for you? " He asks

"Anytime, I'm flexible" from me

He looks me up and down and winks.

"I do pilates now" I said Laughing

"really.... you look good. How's Wednesday? Morning? He asks. He puts a hand on my shoulder

I start to cry again. I put my sunglasses on.

"Wednesday is good, I can make that. I'm sorry, this is really close to the surface right now" I sniffle

"It's OK, you want to hide, I get that. I do that too. " He says. " So I'll see you on Wednesday morning - OK? "

I nod as another parishioner came over to talk to him. She hugged me and thanked me for my kind words when she got pinned at our Kiwanis meeting earlier in the week. I had dedicated some money in the freewill offering in happiness that she got pinned. Behind my sunglasses, the tears were still flowing freely. But she nicely didn't notice.

I pulled away from her and Fr. Christopher says "I'll talk with you Wed. Its all good!"

I lean over and I say "This isn't my normal topics. This one is about a man" I say.

He clapped his hands in glee - " I can't WAIT to hear this one"

I do just love a priest with a sense of humor. I also love that he's my age. It makes our counseling sessions more like friends hanging out and talking. Though he does make me think and answer questions I would rather not acknowledge at all most of the time.

"I have been waiting for you to come back." I said "Don't go away that long again. Even on the bishops dime"

That generates a laugh on his part.

As I leave to go teach, I realize that I have to get my game face on. Can't face a 10 year old while in tears. So I have some water as I sit in the car. I relax and think about my other friend K. She and I have the same name and the same birthday. She's in hell with her job. She loves her craft but hates the district that she is currently working in. I feel her pain. In this region, the more money a school district has, the more likely it is that the teachers are going to have to deal with kids and parents that have the attitude of self entitlement. My niece is one of her students. She doesn't suffer from that particular syndrome but so many of her classmates do.

My poor friend just got verbally abused at the solo festival that we have been prepping kids diligently for the last few months. She got verbally abused by three seemingly mature adult teachers at least 10-15 years our senior. She was reduced to tears, which is not normal for her. Been there, done that. All I could do was give her a hug. I invited her over for a glass of wine or tea. She said, not today, but definitely next weekend. She said she needs another friend who can help her through this that understands our business. She wants to get her doctorate but it's an audition only scenario and she needs more experience before the programs will accept her. I've seen her work and seriously these programs would be just damn foolish for not accepting her. But I know ther pre-reqs as well as she does and the C/V needs tweaking with more experience so we are going to brainstorm a bit.

What goes around comes around. Even on good things like asking for and receiving help,. And giving help when you are the qualified individual.

There are several future posts to come out of both scenarios here. These are both potentially volatile situations.

There is no shame in asking for help. Be it from a friend. Or a minister. Or a qualified professional. or even a family member. Human being's are raised to be independent and not need nor ask for help. But Human Beings are social creatures and are not created to know everything. They were created to learn. IN order to learn, questions must be asked. Help for what you don't understand must be sought. It is not shameful, it is not weak. If anything, asking for help when you need it is SMART. It shows intelligence and shows that you know your own mind welll enough.

I feel better just for having an appointment on the calendar. And I feel good that I am in a position to help a friend. Most of all I feel that I can discuss my issues without fear and without judgement. It's not confession - there is no confessing here. This is just simple counseling. Plain and simple.

I just need objective help here. My trusted friends who know, I value and respect all the opinions that have been offered, all the support, the caring, compassion and love. This has nothing to do with any of that. I just need to talk it out with someone who's going to help me sort out what's in my head and heart right now.

It's going to be OK. I know it is.