Maybe not the quintessential people pleaser after all

I did something interesting Tuesday and Wednesday without even realizing it.

I truly put myself first.

It was work-related to start with. I have a project that I will refer to as Project SSB. I was going

I realize that I have to this completed on Tuesday NIGHT for them to be ready on Wednesday morning.

I looked at my schedule. I had 2 kids to teach and I had to pick up my house and get it ready for my housekeeper to come on Wednesday when she normally comes on a Friday.

So I looked at the workload and re-arranged the kids to other days and re-scheduled the housekeeper to another day as well.

I was so amazed and proud of myself for putting my needs ahead of everyone elses.

Of course, that not withstanding, I did drive out in an Ice storm pelting me and my car with pellets of ice ( fairly large by the way) so that I could give one of my students a final lesson before his solo festival. It didn't even occur to me to check the website to see if it was postponed.

It was.

I drove in that nightmare for nothing. But my kids and their parents were extremely thankful. I got a bottle of Body Glimmer Wash in strawberry fizz from Victorias Secret as a thank you. Yum.

Poor Poodle

Seriously - I love him to death. He knows it, I know it - pretty much everyone knows it.

I torment him though.

You see, somehow I can find the person on my team, always, who fall for my childish practical jokes.

Never EVER aimed to hurt, Poodle has been on the receiving end of the great toilet scam, the Barclays Barking Robots and the very first and a classic, never before written about, Becky.

We have a long history together. Nothing can make us laugh faster than a good practical joke. We are so immature that we have taken to leaving VM's with funny things on it.... Once he left the title track to "Oklahoma" on during a particularly hairy project in said state. I have left classic clips from "will and grace" and "the Birdcage" on his VM.

When I did most of my work in an office, I was often surrounded by empty desks for the amount of laughing that I did. It was A LOT. Less now.... but sadly there's less to laugh at.

But most recently in talking about our early years on the team together, the Becky story came up.

We have a help desk in our company. Becky works for this Help desk - or helpless desk as we call it when her station in the ACD rings. She gets on with a very specific pronounced conglomerate accent that's nearly untraceable. One of my first days on the team, Poodle and I were on the phone and he put me on hold because Becky was calling him back.

He gets back on the line with me, and says:

"Can you believe her? Becky belongs in the Order prevention department !" ( A fictitious place we use as a catchall when we are being thwarted at delivering prompt and good customer service).

A momentary pause....

"Poodle, this is Becky" I mimic nearly perfectly....

dead silence.

"uh, um, hmmm - " Stammers Poodle

I foil my own jokes though because I can't contain my laughter. I burst out laughing and he lost it. The two of us were howling with laughter.

Bringing me to yesterday. I was in the middle of a serious rant with him over conditions in the workplace and dealing with "delivery and execution" crappola from above. I was literally having a fit. I was swearing like a drunken sailor. ( that's my real vice guys - I seldom drink, no drugs, no smoking - I swear and I like it. ) I couldn't take it anymore. He finally laughs and tells me he doesn't understand my management techniques upwards at all. He can't fathom yelling at those above and giving then directives. But it works for me and it gets results.

I calmed down for a moment. Paused and said,

"Poodle, anyone can be trained. You just have to know what their hotspot is. - look we trained you!"

silence then uproarious laughter.

The kid was back....

Branching out

I attempte to branch out with my food choices today.



I was VERY VERY stressed from my job. In fact - I shut off my instant messengers ( all 4) and forwarded my phone to voice mail so no one would bother me. Only those trusted members of my staff knew to call my home directly.



I did eventually sign on to the one my boss doesn't know about or have access too. I needed to have other's visible even if I was too busy to "chat" - the task at hand was just too critical for me to be MIA.

I had 28 large sub tasks to accomplish by 5PM. I only got started truthfully at 1. I was pretty impressed that I was down to keying each one in in roughly 6 minutes when I was on a roll.

I got 26 out 28 in by 5 and the other 2 done before the end of the person's workday who needed it ( lord bless central standard time).

But I inhaled a lunch literally eaten with 1 hand ( A Weight watchers "smartwich" if you are interested - pepperoni and cheese - 6 points) while I keyed in with the other. I took a 5 minute break annd one of my cats and I sat on the couch while I ate an activia fat free yogurt and he looked longingly at it hoping to get some when I was finished - alas - mais non pour le pussy-cat!
I went and taught some kids that I haven't taught in 2 months due to contruction and major piano renovations done. Kids did well for a two month Hiatus. I got to have 2 light beers with their mom ( 4 points if anyone cares) and did some rapid calculations for dinner....

I could have either 2 slices of Pizza and a hot chocolate

Or

1 cup of brown rice with cheese and 3 girl scout cookies with tea.

I went with the pizza.

I have an addiction to pizza, but the minute I decided that I was happening I called in my order for 2 slices to be ready when I got there, then I wouldn't get tempted for a third while I was there giving my order.

I ate my slices slowly in wonderment - not yet with a knife and fork but that will come soon. I took a hot lovely bath.

And now I must go .... My hot cocoa is done.

Things are going super well.

Genealogy

I recently discovere my Scottish heritage.

Ironically, it was from reading a book. A fictional series by Lilian Jackson Braun title "The cat who...." It takes a place in a ficitious town "400 miles north of anywhere". The main character is a newspaper man who comes into money. He has two Siamese cats. He is dating the head librarian of the town who's last name is Duncan.

In one book, her sister is getting married and using traditional Scottish Garb. Mrs. Duncan the librarian is wearing the clan sash, her sister too.... the millionaire is wearing full Scottish regalia of the Macintosh clan. This sparked a question for me.

You see Duncan is a last name that is part of the Robertson Clan. My Great Grand father was Stewart Robertson. A light bulb went off.

So I started searching and looking and found that branch of the family. It's HUGE. Evidentally Robertson is like Smith in US. But they are all inter-related. So I have a truckload of family in country I have never been to.

But I found our tartan. I sent My grandmother ( the daughter of the Scotsman) A wool scarf made out of our hunting tartan. Its somewhat similar to Blackwatch without the yellow...

I was so excited when I found this. I love geneology and wish I had more patience for it. I know I am German primarily, but also Scottish, a tiny bit of Irish, Austrian, Belgian, French, Hungarian and I am sure there is more. It's easier for me to tell you what I am not than what I am.

The great majority is German. My Dad was entirely German and my mom is 25% German, 25% Austrian and 50% all the rest.

I guess I'm a Contessa but I just don't have ONE country - I have MANY!

Eating by the numbers

I have tried the unit eating plan for 1 day and I was successful.

surprisingly so.

And happy - go figure.

Happy because I wasn't overly hungry, I was comfortable and I was not resentful in the slightest.

Clearly this was the way to go.

On Caramel Pie: I feel that I should elaborate based on some of the comments that came back....

To Title Troubles: Dreaming of caramel pie isn't the problem - for me. It was eating it! ALL of it - without caring. No more pie when I am in this mindset. Not never, just not now....... I'll virtually save you a piece!

To Post-Doc: I blame myself for tossing out my own lessons learned so light heartedly for something so heavenly. I love your recipes and I love trying them! they are always soooo good. You too get a virtual piece saved!

Caramel Pie is delicious concoction that turns out to be 8 points per average sized slice. In another mindset, one I am not currently in but am working towards, I could factor that slice in and not need to eat more - even knowing it was in the house. But , for right now, it's better for me to not have sweets in the house and eat straight into units.

Units are foods that are already portioned out. I am doing much better with that. A yogurt, a veggie burger, one hot cocoa packet, one serving of Girl Scout cookies ( these I portioned out myself and left all in the car but the one portion I planned to eat and 2 Samoas'= 3 points).

It reads extreme. But I am calling it eating boot camp for me. Once the behaviours are re-established, I can start being more flexible and working new foods and weights and measures into it. Otherwise I have the tendancy to have measurements that are way off - using my eyes rather than the tools, scales, measuring cups - all of that.

Trust me when I tell you that this is a life long project. When one plan doesn't work, you have to find another that will. It's seasonal sometimes, it's event driven at others. Right now, I"m at a seasonal situation AND an event driven situation - so it's back to pre-packaged or pre-portioned out food choices. Soon new vegetables will arrive and they will be fresh and wonderful so I can add back salads....

I just keep plugging away, modifying as I go. I will find the formula that works - for now, write it down and refer to later when I need a trick.

I so optimistic now - I feel wonderful!

The great resentment

I'm having a mental block with Weight Watchers.

I did not go to the meetings the last two weeks due to conflicts in schedule and illness. I rarely miss one let alone two meetings. And that may be the issue here.

The bottom line is I resent having to eat less of what I like. it could be the healthiest food on earth and I will find away to eat more than I should.

I have eliminated sweets from my house with few exceptions. I have substituted Dannon Activia Low fat yogurts ( Raspberry is YUMMY), Dannon Light and fit smoothies, banana's and low fat graham crackers.

That has actually solved my sweet tooth problem. If I run into the need for Chocolate, Swiss Miss comes riding in to save the day with her fat free Marshmallow lovers hot chocolate made with water and skim milk.

My problem seems to be quantity not quality.

One of the major benefits to writing this blog is it helps me problem solve better. Learning from yourself is the best lesson I think. Reading other's blogs can be helpful as well. ( Post-Doc don't describe Caramel Pie Anymore - I DREAM about it!!!! Only kidding.... better to read about it than eat it)

In writing this post, it appears time for me to start eating what I call unit foods. Foods that are single serve sizes, prepackaged either by the manufacturer or by me in advance. That will keep my eating more uniform till I get the behaviours learned and consistent.

I need to get consistency into my exercise also which will be a challenge for this week.

It's very important that I take care of this and not quit. The weight has to get to a manageable point and as Lisa so rightly said - I'm tired of being the fat girl in pictures. I hear that.

So on the heels of finishing my homemade mac and cheese ( Barilla plus pasta = 3 WW points per cup, Brummel and BRown yogurts spread = 1 WW point per serving, a splash of skim milk and 1 oz of land o lakes sliced american cheese ( usually 2 slices)= 2). Total of 5 points per cup.

I ate 3 cups.

I had 13 points left

I owe somebody 2

I think I owe it to me.

allergies

I keep forgetting that allergy season is bursting to get started.

I'm not having that problem yet as it really hasn't started here yet, but I was reminded by the pollen notifications that started arriving in my inbox.

I have a tendancy to check the forecasted pollen as much in advance as they can tell me so I can medicate appropriately.

I have a cold right now - not a bad mind bending cold that has me hacking and coughing, but it is knocking me out and keeping me very tired. So it was with some level of surprise that at 5:00 yesterday my eyes started itching and tearing and the goo is in there. I took my eye drops ( I have an antibiotic, an allergy and a steroid that I have to take in the form of eye drops when this happens) and took a zyrtec 6 hours earlier than normal, but still within the prescription limits. Then I got the icepack out for my eye to keep the swelling down. Then the sneezing started and then the overwhelming need to sleep came over me.

I kind of feel like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz when this happens. Her overwhelming need to sleep when she see's the poppy's always felt more like a pollen induced phenomen the the Wicked Witch's. I real;y never understood how the witch could take credit for that.

So now I have to leave half an hour after this starts to teach a piano lesson. I walk in with an ice pack and they look at it, and no one asks any questions. This makes me laugh. But by the time I leave there, I am feeling much better. I guess I didn't look scary, the kids didn't comment.

I get home and notice that the flowers that I was given last week, were drooping and the pollen was lying on the top of my entertainment center. This is about 2 feet from my desk. Ah Ha!!!!

I really can't clean it up in my current condition. I have to wait - but I know what it is now that caused this premature pollen issue.

But the ever need to sleep and rest due to the pollen prevailed. I went to bed at 11:30 with the expectation that I would be able to be up between 9-10. I woke up at 4 went to bed again at 5 and slept till 11:30. Not exactly 12 hours, but still substnatially more than I tend to sleep. I am assuming I needed it. I am going to have to be really active and busy today if I intend to succeed wtih DST tonight. I don't do well with any time changes.

Anywhere. No matter where I go with a time change, my joke is, I can't even make it through DST or the change back without backlash to my sleeping patterns. 1 hour, 3 hours, 6 hours - no can do. When I am overtired I get nautious which is a curious sensation for me as I rarely deal with that.

So I skipped my voice lesson because of the allergy attack and I canceled it last night as I knew I would be useless this morning. And I was.

I need to get well from the cold and the allergies. I don't normally whine about something that is so commonplace for me. But I had two fabulous weeks so I really want to get back to that.

90 miles an hour with my hair on fire

At least that's what it feels like I am doing these days.

One of colleagues had a terminal illness in the family and was summoned to NY on Tues night. Unfortunately weather conditions delayed and routed him to Philly. By the time he landed at the airport in Long Island, this person had passed away. It's very sad to lose someone at all but someone who's 41 is very difficult.

I mention this because while all this was happening, and I was covering his workload, I also had a wake to attend for the daughter of a family friend. Also 41. She passed away due to a car accident. I didn't know the daughter to speak to as she was enough years older than me growing up. Her dad had passed away in December so this is a double whammy for the mother.

Now, I am the only member of my family who attended the wake. My step mom, who is closest to the mother, called her and they had some discussion about it. But Ellen knows that my step mom really avoids wakes at all cost since my dad died. I go, pay my respects to the family, but I do not approach the coffin for any reason. It is a rare day. I did for my grandmother but honestly, I didn't look at her.

When they opened the coffin for the private viewing for my dad, I was stunned to see how much healthier he looked in death. We buried him in his tails. I put his conductor's baton and pictures of his cats in with him. That bothered me, how well he looked. People shouldn't look better in death and I honestly lobbied for a closed casket. I just don't see the need to look at a person in that state. Not that they care. They no longer inhabit that body.

So, I don't do viewings. I do pay my respects and offer to cook meals etc for the family. The wake was the strangest I had ever been to. People were hysterical and throwing themselves on the coffin. I saw many of my dad's friends and collegues - some I hadn't seen since before he died - and so I as accepting my own condolences at someone else's wake. Weird. Even my neighbor, who went with me, agreed this was really odd.

As tragic as all this death was, I actually handled it so much better than I had this time last year. Those posts reflect how far down I went dealing with so much death. No clue why.

Through all of this I am working like a dog on both my work and my colleague's. I tend to put more effort into keeping my colleague's work from piling up than my own during that time. And with that in mind I spent my entire day correcting 4 international orders because the ruleset for that country changed since Monday ( this is a pet peeve of mine), then entering the last 6 orders for the same coutries under the new ruleset. The corrections took 2 hours and the new orders took a total of 30 minutes.... silly. I hate this system.

From there, I left to have my routine bloodwork done, visit my office briefly, teach 1 kid for an hour and another for 30 minutes.

The very first time I sat down to do anything remotely for me was 8PM. Now this may appear to be a complaint. It's not. To be home at 8 vs 10 is always a treat. I feel like I have gained time.

I am trying to slow my pace down. I'm not doing as well with it as I want. I have a tendancy to overbook in an attempt to make everyone happy. I'm a people pleaser and I always have been.

So in review of month 2 of the plan - I need to not be going 90 miles a hour with my hair on fire all the time. I am planning one activity and if another comes up, well, I'm sorry but I made the commitment to activity 1 first, can we reschedule for another time?

It's a piece of my personality that I don't want to get rid of ( it's very helpful in my professions), but I do need tame it. Manage it better.

So, yes this post is a little bit rambly - but I reserve the right to do that!

My eyelashes all in curls....

So... I have gotten a couple of inquiries on this topic so I decided a full post was warranted.

Men this MAY not be for you though you are more than welome to read along.

Now I am sure you are all to familiar with the traditional eye lash curler and mascara methods of coloring and adding length and curl to your eyelashes.

First, you clamp the eyelash curler over your lashes, hold for undetermined amount of time, release and apply mascara.

If you are me, the undetermined length of time is anywhere from 5-7 minutes per eye. My eyelashes are sparse on my right eye, fuller on my left and are straight and angle down. And they are blond.

So when my nail technician ( who is a certified ( and certifiable) aesthetician), brought the eye lash perm to the salon where she works, I was on board to try it. It cost 35 dollars and the first two rounds were OK. The last 2 times are nothing short of spectacular now that the process is refined a bit.

In short its the same concept as perming your hair. They have a curler that has gentle adhesive on it and attach it to your eyelid. THey fold the lashes up over it. They then brush on perm solution ( specifically diluted and designed for eyelashes).

Once all of this is done, they put mini showercap looking adhesive wraps over your eyes.

Throughout this you are lying on a comfortable padded table with a pillow and blanket. Your eyes are closed. I like to use this time for napping. I plug in my ipod and relax. 20 minutes later they remove the mini shower caps, rinse off the solution with a soft cloth and warm water.

But your not done yet.

Next Vitamin E cream is applied to the skin around the eye including the upper and lower lids. then a half moon shaped bandage is applied to the skin right underneath the eye to protect the skin. At this point a tinting ( much like highlighting solution for your hair) solution is applied to the lower lashes. Then you close your eyes and the solution is brushed on the top lashes with your eyes closed. Again with the mini shower caps, and you continue your nap for another 15-20 minutes.

When you wake up they remove the showercaps and again rinse your eyes off with the soft warm cloth and Voila - one has tinted AND curly eyelashes.

There is no pain and you get to nap. Each application lasts roughly 8-10 weeks. Mine have gone as long as 12. I'm very happy with the results. I don't have to wear mascara but I can and either way it looks fantabulous.

The whole gig is 70 dollars. Well worth the effort. And my eyes look ever so lovely.

The Plan: Month 2 check in

Here I am for month 2 of the borrowed plan:

Scenario 1 - Health

• Exercise - I have made the commitment to walk 5 days a week. I am probably actually doing this 2 times a week on the average. 30-45 minutes. It's more consistent then last month but not entirely where I want to be.
• Food - Here I am doing 100% better. I am journaling my food daily. I am eating more fruit and re-discovered banana's. I am very happy with my overall food choices. I need work still in restaurants. I want to start including more veggies.
• Journal - going really well. More days than not. I have 5 days down consistently and the weekends get shot to hell. So my goal is every single bite gets marked down.
• Overall Health Management - My skin looks amazing. I am even back to wearing makeup. I had my eyelashes permed and tinted. I have the humidifer going daily 24 hours. I started an internal cleanse and that is going really well. I am resting when my body says to rest. It's a lot lately but that's OK. When I don't need it, I won't take it. My water and fluid intake is excellent. I am taking baths in baking soda, dead seal salt, ,baby oil with aloe and vitamin E and a touch of Blue Food coloring to make me feel like I am in a Spa every night. It's really relaxing. I have started doing Yoga again - though I just literally started so the benefits aren't quite there yet.

Scenario 2 - Job/Career

• I have started managing my boss better. Boss no longer manages me, I manage Boss. Things are different now that I ( and my team) know that Boss is not competent either as a manager or as an employee. That's fact not opinion.
• I am starting to keep the communication lines open more for the 5 other people on my team. I have one new person and one person who has trouble managing workload. Given that one my major responsibilities is to load balance the workload of the team, I took back this task from my manager. Boss doesn't know enough at this point to do that job and isn't interested in learning.
• We as a team have started giving boss busy work to do so we can get our work done.
• I am just doing the best job I know how and taking the lead away from boss as often as possible while making sure that anything that has to have boss's name attached to it as actually done by Boss.
• I decided that I will not be doing Boss's job anymore unless it is to back him up in his absence. If my projects are dependent on Boss doing some task, then boss has to ante up and get that task done. Either Boss gets the job done or Boss has to answer to Herr Direktor.
• I'm taking my lunch when I am supposed to. I am taking random 15-20 minute breaks to get my brain focused. I am shutting down at 5 and I no longer work weekend, after hours or holidays unless I am on call.

Scenario 3 - My home

It's clean and neat and that's all I can ask right now. This month I have things to start doing in terms of organization and interior design.

Scenario 4 - finances

• Paid off one credit card. Have less than 100 left on the other
• Last payment on 401K loan is pending the end of this month
• Started making the payments to the IRS on my tax adjustments from a prior tax year
• Continuing to add money to my investment portfolio
• My bank ( Bank of NY) was bought out by Chase so I am now interviewing new banks to see if moving my money makes sense. I hate JPMC. And I'm doubly pissed that they bought out my bank that I have been with since I am 10.
• Working through my debt and bring that number smaller and smaller. It's so manageable right now that I am thrilled.

Scenario 5 - Education

• Getting my kids ready for Solo festivals in this state.
• I am taking the courses required to become certified to adjudicate in these festivals for next year.
• Still studyding voice and doing well. My next performance is 3/18.

Scenario 6 - Family & Friends

• My mom threw a wonderful reception after my recital. It was excellent.
• My brother chose to go to the baptism. It's not OK. I'm over it now.
• Communication is still going well with the family. My sister is having a baby shower, and though I was late in RSVP'ing, I still did.
• I am putting a lot of effort into my relationships with my friends. I had lunch with a bunch of them on Saturday morning. That was just lovely. I have 3 people that I met in the past 2 years that we are still getting to know one another. I am, as always, grateful to my college buds, who are there for me no matter what. If I do something stupid, the worst thing I ever heard from them was "We tried to tell you..." I love them for it. We cultivate each other through Blogging now. I love that, but I miss them.

Scenario 7 - Self esteem

• I had hit a really really low low low low low point. If you can even believe how it revolved around Chinese food. The delivery boys at the local restaurant miss me. I no longer do takeout. Or anything else there. I can't stomach it any more. I overate and hit rock bottom. Once you are there - there's nowhere else to go but up.
• I am taking some life lessons from the young ones that I am friends with. Yes they are in their early twenties., but I think that's a bonus actually. The things I take away from the two of them is that they are very self assured in the capabilities and when they are not they are not afraid to get the assistance or do the work needed to improve. This impresses me about both of them and I have started believing in my own abilities and seeking assistance where needed. It was the belief system that was flawed here, not my ability. Identification in such a specific form was helpful
• I am working really hard to play back new inproved soundtracks in my head. A new one that I like these days is "You are only human. There isn't anything that has happened that can't be corrected" and the other one I like is " You can't please all the people all the time". Trite? maybe - but they are helping a lot. slowly but surely
• I am making more of an effort when I walk out of the house. Now I don't mean my appearance so much ( I always look fabulous! wink wink) but how I carry myself and my attitude.
• I am doing my life Makeovers. This is a great help for putting my life in order.

NEW Scenario - Faith

• Effort being made to make it to church every week for 10:15 service. It's tough as I need to start at 8AM so this is a long haul of a day for me. But it's my favorite service, its the family service with the most ( and best) music.
• I am taking more time to reflect during this lenton season. I chose to make the effort to exercise 5 days 30 minutes rather than give something up.

There it is - month 2. I think I have made a lot of progress in some areas and I know there is work to be done in others. I need to develop some behaviours and then get them into practice so that they are second nature before taking on smaller things. I have made mini goals and these monthly check points are just that check points so you can see how the plan is coming along.

As usual my credit line goes to Post - Doc for "the plan" and the inspiration to adopt it!

My Neighbors

Who are people in your neighborhood? Asks Mr Rogers

A classic song and we all remember him tossing one shoe from one hand to the other.

I have excellent neighbors for the most part. I have made pretty good friends with the woman who has the mirror image unit from me. she works in the library here in town.

We can't even be on the phone for less than 30 minutes and she literally lives 1 minute away.

But she and I keep each other aware of things in our building that may compromise the investment.

For example, we live next door to a former mansion turned rooming house. A little old greek guy runs it. He's like a little drill sergeant. I've spoken with him on any number of occasions and he's very nice and very respectful. I haven't ever seen anything amiss at his rooming house. But he's a tough cookie.

We recently voted to install a fence between his home and our outside parking lot. It's taken quite literally 6 months to get the permits and zoning to do this.

So yesterday I pull into the lot, there is a huge sign tacked to the tree that says:

"Mr.Fence Please stay out"

I literally laughed out loud. Then I pulled out my cell phone and called Reg on the phone an told her what's going on - she looked out her window and burst out laughing - even from up on our floor, you can read that sign large as life.

That was Saturday morning.

So Last night I came home at 11PM from my normal Sunday NIght rehearsal to find my lot full. Overfull in fact.

This is a problem.

I pay to park in that lot. It's money that is part of my maintenance costs. It's not cheap. So when I pull in there at 11PM, I should have a spot waiting for me correct?

Well there are several issues here. One, I have requested that we number the spots and assign one, got voted down. Then we decided to make sure that those people who have garage space aren't parking in the lot too. Then we towed "inactive" cars out of the lot. so we have done a lot of work to free up as many spaces for use by residents.

We were all issued Parking permits to be displayed form the rear view mirror. A towing company will come through and check at night and silently tow away the violators.

They haven't been around in awhile.

10 people were parked in the lot that did not have parking permits last night! I "created" a spot near the dumpsters and went upstairs. This morning I called the Management Company and included both the sign and parking situation.

We are working very hard in this building to make this a safe and lovely place to live. We have just finished the re-furbishing of our pool and lobby. It looks stunning now. They have updated the directories and lighting fixtures. Updated the surveillance systems.

I still maintain that if we really want to mae this a fair and pleasant place to live, we need to make the parking situation better. Right now we have narrow spots - I mean narrow. People are not careful and it starts to look and feel a lot like bumper cars out there.

If we numbered and assigned the spots - 1 per unit - that would require us to have 88 spots in the lot. We have 70 at this time. Indoor garages hold another 40 slots. That means for 88 apartments, everyone can have one slot. If there is a second vehicle it should be on a first come first serve and it should cost. Our indoor garage is 30 per month and you get an assigned spot. We have a rule that says if if you have indoor space you have to forfeit your outdoor space.

So what is the problem? these people who are using the lot and are not registered occupants of the building. I saw one woman walk in from the outdoor lot with her boyfriend last night and she pays for an indoor spot. In looking at his car? No permit.

The next owners meeting is in May and I already have a list. So does Reg -- her's includes hoarding, keeping the hourly rental shopping carts in the garage overnight and just how DID they multiply from 2 to 4 overnight? Renters, sublet's etc.

I just want to protect my investment. I also think I want make sure that this is happy and safe place to live.

Men that cook and men that eat

today was one of those bad forays into the dark dark world of eating.

Not a lot I could do to control it to the degree that I should, so I just did the best that I could.

I had my lesson this morning, which went well. I had to laugh because I deliberately set up my digital recorder to record my lesson so that there would be no question about the diction on my German songs. we didn't do them this week. Sounded like a great plan though.

From there I went to a diner in town to meet my friends. Those of you paying attentiong to The Contessa's Life Makovers will note that on my absolute yes list for this week was to nurture and take care of the relationships with my friends, so this was an awesome step in that direction.

While we were there catching up - seven of us on a bustling busy Saturday in town, we made our plans for two different get togethers. I will be hosting a Murder Mystery dinner at my home and Chris will be hosting a 70's theme party. We set dates and guest lists and set about catching up and sharing / caring ( code for good gossip not harmful). Lots of fun and good times and I miss that with these guys. Out of 7 of us 5 of us live within a few blocks radious and yet we rarely get together.

The guys ate like birds. I never saw anything like it. Egg white omelettes, ,salads. The woman ate burgers. fries. onion rings.

when did the balance of power shift?

Later that night I get my act together and go to a Kiwanis function called "Men that Cook". We basically find 10-15 men who cook an entree and bring it in to serve. We like men in the community who are doing something civic minded. We had the school superintendent and some local pols and the new bank manager, fire chiefs. policemen, that kinds of thing.

The food they cooked is not suitable for any diet anywhere. So now take the ziti's, lasagnas, chilis, baked mac and cheese and mutilply iy 15 and hope for the best.

NOT HAPPENING.

But it was worth it - we made a huge profit which is all going to scholarships.

My moral for the day is men may cook, but they aren't eating what they are cooking and they are capable losing weight way too fast.

It's just not fair.

Ah! Blissful sleep

I can't tell you how wonderful a good nights sleep really is.

I've recently discovered this given my hideous sleeping habits.

After a really good day of self care yesterday, in short, making my top priorities about me, I was suitably tired after a hot bath and went to bed at 11:45. I slept until 7AM and then dosed until 8:40. I got out of bed and had nice leisurely breakfast before I got on a conference call.

It gave me energy. I ate well again today. I even exercized again. With Weights.

They say that good skin and hair comes from quality sleep. Sleep and rest help the body recoup from illness and prevent future illnesses.

I finally got my head in the game. I am on the second full day and I am loving it.

Even the stupid stuff that I deal with each day with my boss, seemed trivial. In fact, I ignored him. He's traveling so I signed off the Instant Messenger software that he uses so he couldn't bother me. made my day more pleasant.

THe week too for that matter. I've been much happier and much more productive with him gone. I don't actually want to think that through too much.

I was so motivated that I did tackle my project for automation of status reports today. I put in some sample orders and trialed the reports. I am reasonably sure that we can do the double entry needed to prove out the system for less than one month. Which would cheer my team to no end. THis system is a serious lifestyle change for us. For as much as I am all for it, I feel that taking the control away is going to be a little bit scary. What WILL I do with my time? What if the database goes down and we lose access? So I"m still doing the legwork while we trial the system.

I even borrowed resources to help get the current data loaded in. So I had to make the executive decision to cut the system live immediately. I have been loathe to do it for the reasons above, but I was feeling brave today. So I made the executive decision and I will train my team on this starting Monday.

Having sorted that out, I decided, hell - I can start organizing my bookcases. So I started that. I did the one in the hallway today. I noticed that I get an OBSCENE amount of catalogs. I am more frightened by the fact that I actually read all of them. I tear out the pages I like and make sure that catalog name or website is on there and throw them away. But I have a tendancy to get behind on that.

I am excited because with my bonus I bought some new clothes, some yankee candles, more vitamins and today I bought ballet outfits for the twins. Cute little toddler leotards in ballerina pink with matching tights.... absolutely priceless. Twin 2 already had tap shoes so I picked up a pair for Twin 1. They are 4 so this is absolutely the cutest thing. I can't wait to see them in it! What fun!!! They are going to be sooo unbelievably cute!

I am really starting to feel empowered. This is fabulous.

On a sad note - Mowpee - Chris's cat - died this week. She will be terribly missed by her papa and her siblings. She was a very dear special cat. She was very bonded to her human.

RIP and a safe journey over the Rainbow Bridge my friend - Sir Richard and Brutus are waiting for you!

On this day

On this day, February 28th, I was 99% of my best sense of self.

My activities and behaviours reflected my self care.

I woke up, had my coffee and started my detox plan.

It didn't leave me feeling optimistic as I am already running low on all three elements.

So I went to ebay and bought another kit AND 2 bottles of the daily maintenance on this same program.

Continuing to feel righteous, I put on my sneakers, grabbed my IPOD and went for a 30 minute walk - OUTSIDE. My timing wasn't optimal as school had just gotten out an I had chosen a route that passed not one but two schools. It was fine, shin splints have a lot to say but by the time I got back to my house they seemed to be loosened up.

I had my lunch which was SO healthy and I liked it - what a bonus. I had a Veggie burger on rye bread with American Cheese. It was good. Then I had 2 almod cookies form the chinese restaurant. The scene of the crime last night. More on that later.

I took my shower, did my hair and makeup and bundled off to teach a kid. She did such a beautiful job on her song for the talent show it brought tears to my eyes. Her dad picked the song out and he's going to be so proud of her.

On the way home, I decided on what I was having for dinner and ate ONLY that.

Then I sat down with my Weight watchers journal and I manually hand wrote out the day. Including the activity.

The simple act of writing it all down made a world of difference for me. I normally use the computerized version of the tracker but honestly that thing has been pissing me off lately. It takes 5 minutes to load, it's slow on any task and, though it looks pretty, it's functionality bites.

So I reverted back to writing everything in my 3 month journal. I feel much better about the whole process now. I find when I am journaling things just fall into place.

So about the scene of the crime...

I broke down and had chinese last night. I ate more than I should have - a lot more. When you imagine how much that is - double it. It was a lot. Ok Maybe not double it - but it was a lot for me. I felt horrible afterwards, depressed, fat, tired, angry at myself. THe actual damage wasn't bad enough to warrant that kind of reaction. So I released it, decided that tomorrow I would do better, had a bath and a read and then I went to bed.

I won't be chinese for awhile I bet.

But more importantly it triggered me to do better today. And now I feel good for tomorrow.

One day at a time. ONe Meal at a time.

Beauty Shop

Around 2 weeks before Christmas I had made an appointment to have my hair touched up and cut.

One minor hitch. My Hairdresser is on disability.

She was taking one her world trips to Vietnam and Cambodia. She fell getting into the tub in her hotel the FIRST night and broke her leg. She had to have surgery in Ho Chi Min City ( or whatever it's called now) and she was sent home to the US within a week.

However she was unable to work because she was unable to stand. So from September until January she was out.

Now I know EVERYONE in this place. I have been going there for 10 years. My Hairdresser and the receptionist/manager I have known since the age of 12 and I attended HS with the Owner who also holds a chair. My stepdad gets his hairs cut there by the owner, I get my nails, toes, waxing, eyelash tinting and curling, facials and of course the requisite hair, done at this salon.

I am as well known to them as they are to me. I celebrate a birthday with one of the Shampoo girls and we always get a cake that says "Itch" because that means B"itch" without the B.

So we are all close.

Erin is new there. Comparatively. But Erin is related to Olga who is also a patron of this shop. She also was married to my stepdad's best friend who passed away about 5 years ago.

Erin has a stellar reputation. I have never seen anything that she has done come to badly. So she was my final consultation and she got the temp gig till Marianne comes back.

My hair is highlighted. She did a GORGEOUS job with it. I wanted a touch up but she did a Full head of foils. The price difference of 40 dollars vs 150. I couldn't complain - it was stunning.

Then she did the cut. It was the first time in my adult life that I did not have to haggle for length. Ever.

I kind of missed it.

Normally when Marianne knows I have an appointment, she stops by the nail station where I get my nails done and "inspects" my hair.

"6 inches." She announces Regally.
"1 inch" I counter
"5 Inches" clucking under her breath
"1 inch?" I beg
"4 final offer" She states
"We'll see when we get to the appointment" I say, buying more time to either make my piece with the 6 inches she's taking whether I like it or not or justification for why I can't have it that short.

This conversation will continue along this vein until the actual appointment.

I should mention that her version of an inch is different from the average persons. I agree to 6 inches, I might as well shave my head. Hence the repetitive conversation.

So, when Erin cut my hair without argument or complaint - it was a little bit unnerving at first.

I loved it though - my hair looked good. It didn't have that special flourish that Mar gives it, but she did a nice job.

And We all swore a solemn oath that Marianne was to NEVER hear of that day.

And she hasn't noticed either....yet

But I have another appointment next week....

African Violets have to eat too

I have these African Violets.

I love them, but plants and I have been a source of contention since birth.

You see I have the opposite of a green thumb - I kill plants.

Oh Unintentionally for sure.

So I have these violets and I have had them for about a year. They came in a lovely Chinese urn - Navy Blue clay with gold trim.

Wolfi broke that. He knocked the whole thing out of the window sill. Where he didn't belong.

And he knew it.

Came running into me to tell me what happened, and of course I wasn't surprised.

ORANGE CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I go on ebay and find a pot that matches my china in that room and buy it. Once it gets here, I transplant the Violet with special soil provided by Mom into the new pot.

It has a matching stoneware drainage dish which is perfect.

So meanwhile, I learned from the last African Violet I got 2 years ago ( that died on the table) that one has to feed the plant, not just water it.

YOu can't water it too much - it doesn't really like that. It needs to eat but doesn't need that much.

Oh and Did you know that plant food is poisonous?

So, I should tell you that I know this because Wolfi ( again) decided that he was thirsty and hopped up there and took a couple of sips out of the drainage dish.

Thankfully I caught him before he had very much - maybe a sip tops. He may not have had any to be honest.

I flipped out. I called Animal Poison control - and they charge you for the call by the way. A lovely fee that they happily - and cheerfully, put on your MAstcard, Visa, American Expressor discover.

I paid THAT money for them to tell me to monitor him because though its poisonous, it was severly diluted in water, and had already passed through the plant. It was more likely that he was drinking dirty water with dirt than poisonous water.

So now I am on the watch. And of course tonight is the one night I am tired enough now to go to bed.

He's fine, I'm sure. My gutt says he's OK, and his behaviours say he's OK. He's eating, drinking, playing and he did try to hump his brother. All the normal things this cat does.

He had a treat, he cuddled while we watched TV and tried to steal my dinner. Truly nothing outlandish.

So in recounting this story to the neightbors, their answer was: Stop feeding the violets.

But they are blooming for the first time in months - African Violets have to eat too!

I just have to monitor the "children" better than that.

Self Discovery

So, Dharma an Greg was a great show. I love both of them as actors/actresses. It's played on F/X during the day sometimes.

The current episodes that have been aired feature Greg "following his bliss". He has quit his law practice and is following his bliss. He hasn't yet discovered it though. He is on the journey and Dharma is advising him to enjoy the journey as that is almost more important than the destination.

I don't tend to be introspective based on a "sit-com".

But I was thinking about the journey. I tend to not take the time to "smell the flowers". I am always about the destination.

I am doing my Life Makeover's plan by Cheryl Richardson and having a good time thus far. I'm playing catch up for the first few weeks as I started 6 weeks later than the book does. Once I get caught up, will be taking a week at a time for each exercize to make sure that I give myself that time to enkoy the journey.

Weight Watcher's, similarly, is all about the journey and less about the goal. Oh Don't get me wrong, the goal is important, but they stress more about learning about yourself and how to make peace with "the problems of the living" in order to be able to participate in the tasks that make the program successful. If your head isnt in the game there, you will get frustrated. Here is a case where keeping your eye on the ball can almost sabotage your efforts.

Not that you shouldn't keep your on A ball - just not that BIG one. Setting smaller goals is so realistic and easy that I have started adding that to my daily life for improving. For example, instead of just saying "I'm going to be organized" I have decided to say "I will organize my desk in a way that makes sense and honors my methods for doing business and maintaining my home" in that way I accomplish the one task, and I have a much better shot at maintaining it.

I did it with my kitchen cabinets and it was successful. After living here for a year, I kept re-arranging the cabinets and the locations of things like glasses and kitchen implements and canned goods etc. I finally figured out the best way that makes sense for me and I have had no trouble maintaining it.

Small goals baby. Such an easy concept and one that I rarely think of. Maybe I'm too arrogant and don't think I need to by human that way.

If that's the case - I just took myself down a peg or two!

IPOD Hell revisited

For those of you who will recall, I hated my IPOD.

So today I call the parent of one of my students because she has a lesson today, but the email I received last night quite clearly indicated that everyone had a stomach flu. And there was NO WAY I was going anywhere near that house if that were the case.

But no, that was not the case, thank goodness. But the mother has a favor to ask. Now I'm good friends with her, so it's not the imposition you would think. Her brand new IPOD broke. It just one day died. The IPOD store replaced it with a new one, but she was unable to get her Itunes downloaded.

So she asked me.

She is technically challenged.

So she asked me.

Has she not been reading my Blog?

I spend the better part of an hour after the lesson screwing around with it. I finally grab mine and plug it in to her cable. It recognizes mine. That's good. that rules out the USB port AND the cable.

But it doesn't seem to be good new for the IPOD itself.

Which is new. Did I mention that? Brand new. And a replacement.

So I write down the serial number and we call tech support.

Thankfully the answer is a quick reboot. That enabled me to transfer her playlist. Now things work fine.

I wrote the reboot command down. And told the tech support that they needed better documentation sent with the unit itself. 6 pictures and 12 words AIN'T gonna cut it.

It just makes me crazy when they tailor technology to a generation that applauds the inability to read and follow directions.

Is that smart? Is that shrewd? or is it just STUPID? ( I can't take credit for this one - Jamie Lee Curtis A Fish called Wanda).

It's Stupid. I have lately noticed that people in my generation fall into one of two categories. Those who raise their kids to be good, upstanding citizens (and I would have to tell you that most of the people I associate with fall into this category) and those who do everything for their kids but their kids grow up with an unbridled sense of entitlement. I teach kids who have fallen into this category every year but this year. By and large the kids I teach fall into the first category. The ones that don't drive me banana's.

As a society I am concerned when things like reading and doing chores to help out in the household are tossed aside. This episode with IPOD only enforced it for me.

The ten year old could figure it out, but me with a minor in Information Technology couldn't? I was an IT director for 10 years, I could program in 6 languages and take a PC apart and put it back together in 20 minutes without one pause. But the IPOD directions were overly simplistic. What does that say? That we are a society of idiots? Obviously not, if their overly simplistic instructions were so ambiguous that I still had to call tech support just to learn how to reboot the thing. Meanwhile that was a tip I had personally learned from Jax, but I didn't think to apply it here.

The point is, I can admit when something is beyond me, but don't oversimplify and expect that I am going to read your mind. That implies that I am stupid and I am not.

What bugs me more, the kids have no problem with the instructions. I think I am more frightened by that than not. I have students who are too lazy to read. They are raised with excellent value sets but I write the instructions for them to practice with in their assignment book and I find that in order to make sure they read it I have to test them on it the following week.

It's a scary world out there and due to the information being so readily available in so many mediums, it's small wonder that kids today don't have to work as hard as we did to get the same answers. But I think that loses something downstream for these kids when they become adults. The propensity for demanding adults who expect their jobs to be handed to them on a silver platter is huge. There is a large population of 20 somethings who already fall into this category. The ones that I am close to are wise beyond their years and have an awesome work ethic, but I can't say that is the large majority.

I am not expecting to be a parent and not sure I would be up to the challenge. I don't know if I am brave enough. But I sincerely hope that all the things I see and learn about from my friends with kids would prepare me somewhat for that job should it arise. I have some fantastic role models around me, Maple Mama, The Digital Father, Peet Fointed, to name a few and I urge you to check out their sites. They are all easy to read, but make you think. I enjoy all three and I am always looking forward to the new ideas that are brought forth, the challenges, the opinions all of it. I find a lot of my answers to the things I encounter during teaching from these folks.

So my hats off to my friends and readers who are parents. You guys and your spouses do a marvelous job and I am always amazed and enlightened at the challenges that come up and how you all handle them with intelligence and class. The world needs more parents like you!

And Apple needs to actually write NOT DRAW their manual.

Saturday - anything but average

I woke up this morning without having planned out my day the night before.

I should have put that on my weird things list. Every night right before I turn off the lights I mentally review the activities of the next day, what apparal/accessories/makeup and hair need to be set out and how I am going to orchestrate going from one actvity to the other, what time I have to leave one place to get to the other on time, that sort of thing.

Last night I didn't. Maybe for the first time in 10 + years.

And this morning I didn't wake up on time. That plays a part in the mental review the night before. I identify HOW MUCH time I need in the morning. You see I prefer to sleep so whenever I have the opportunity for more, I take it.

So, I was running late at 9:45 - had to leave at 10 and I wasn't done. I put makeup on, took it off because I remembered too late that I was having an eyebrow wax, eyelash tint and curl. I finally got out of the house at 10:10. It took me a few minutes wth the new dead bolt I had put on Friday afternoon as the key was tight. Finally got that, worried all day about it because I only have the one key and what if there is a fire and my cats are trapped because no one can get in? I really do worry about that. Not consumingly so.

I decided on jeans, shoe boots an a navy blue sweater dressed up with a velvet burnout scary. Put my hair back in a pony tail and headed to pick up coffee and got to my voice lesson.

I was 10 minutes late all said and done. Lesson went OK. I really hate doing anything Schubert with this guy. He sings along with me the entire time and then corrects my German. even when it is right. He says the word, I repeat is EXACTLY, he says no and says it again, I say - that's what I said and repeat it. so next week for sure - lessons will be taped. I can take criticism if I am wrong but I hate when people correct things that aren't wrong to start with. I have 4 new tunes so that's good.

I headed over to WW as I have a friend in my group I won't see for a couple of weeks and I wanted to see her. I am really trying with the other friend even though she continues to freeze me out and to be fair to her, I suspect she read my post on the blog and perhaps that has pushed the problem between us over the edge. Now I want to be perfectly clear here. I do not apologize for what I wrote and I stand by it. However, to refresh your memory:

"So no additional energy will be expended there. I will be nice and polite but that's it. Please don't misunderstand me, she's a fantastic person, bright, funny, driven, energetic. A person that I clearly wanted to be friends with. But alas it is not to be so. A conversation about it would be awkward only because we really aren't friends.... we are somewhere in that no-mans-land between being friends and acquaintances so what would one say? Why are you treating me like a third wheel? No - if we were closer I could bring that to her attention. It's easier to just let it go at this point."

At this point, I would like to be on speaking terms with her because I do spend time with she and WWfriend2. She now, literally, ignores my presence. Why do I still care?

I crave approval and validation and it pisses me off.

This is the reason I chose this quality to work on in my life makover project. I really have to get comfortable with people not liking me. You can't please everyone, and I really need to get that under control.

I had a similar instance at my parents house. NO need to go into it as except for those 2 minutes of time, and that's literally all it was, that day was lovely. I met my new niece who is stunning of course at 12 weeks old. Nice dinner, nice company.

And I had my nails done and my eye lashes tinted and curled. I played the ipod recordin of my recital for some of the folks in the salon who have known me for a hundred years and that was fun to see the shock on their faces.

I had an eating episode over this day - it wasn't terrible - it could have been SO MUCH worse, I ate 3 servings of Edy's Slow churned reduced fat ice cream. In place of dinner. I was planning to go to coldstone, so this is actually a decent substitution. I'm not pleased at the trigger to eat, but I am fully aware of what it is. I am not pleased at my initial behaviour, but am pleased that I made a better choice when faced with the urge to eat.

I am vowing to do better tomorrow. All I can do is try to be better.

10 Weird Things about Me

Interestingly enough I usually Blog first and read blogs second. Tonight I read first as I was struggling with a topic - and low and behold I got tagged by Post-Doc!

So - here are my 10 Weird Things about me

1. I have a passion to own personal products. Consequently I have more moisturizers. bronzers and makeup than any human should. And I use ALL of it.

2. I take my cats for walks in the hall. They think its "outside" and it usually gets rid of some exess energy for them

3. Speaking of the hall, I dance up and down my hall - when no one is looking! Usually a waltz step or cha cha.

4. Since I was child, I can quote lines EXACTLY from movies - even if I only saw the movie once.

5. I tend to watch one or two movies, TV shows or listen to songs repeatedly until I tire of them annd move on.

6. I secretly love Van Halen. And Whitney Houston. and now its not secret!

7. I think I was born in the wrong generation. I so long for a period of time that was long before I was born - the early days of Frank Sinatra, Lucille Ball - the glamour of Hollywood in its prime and the value set that permeated the country. I actually miss something I never experienced.

8. I have perfect pitch. Frankly it's a bother. Other than getting me straight 4.0's in college sight singing classes and making me a fabulous sight singer now, its a real headache - and NOT a bragging point either.

9. I love to play practical jokes and am very good at it.

10. When I get an adrenelyn rush for any reason, my hands go numb in a flash and then tingle. Not sure if that's a normal response but it's been like that my whole life. Maybe it was foreshadowing on the carpal tunnel I am developing now!

I guess I have to tag someone now. I really don' t know the protocol so if I am doing it wrong please correct me! We are going to tag Peet Fointed, Bernie's World, Maple Mama and Sierra Sedan.