The aftermath and new realizations

I bought a clock.

That's it above. Its somewhat of an antique and I had been eyeing for awhile. So rather than eat every stitch of food in the house or go buy a pint or 5 of B&J or an entire bakery cake for myself ( In my defense I have never done any of those things actually but I did abuse food) , I bought the clock for my kitchen.

I have been eyeing it for sometime. It's slate actually, with antique B&W paris postcards decoupaged onto it. It was a little but pricey but not a killer. I was planning to spend between 30-50 dollars so this was right in the budget.

The minute I clicked the Pay now button, I felt 2000 % better. I also felt weird because I don't usually shop to ease pain. I don't like shopping most of the time. I don't have the patience to be honest. So, this was a little bit strange.

But not altogether unpleasant.

I also recognize the behaviour change from eating to shopping and I like that replacing eating with something else is good, I just have to be prudent with it so I don't break the bank.

I think the difference is, I have been wanting this clock for months. I have been saving the money and had set it aside. I was waiting, truthfully, for the price to go down.

I just decided to stop waiting and buy it now. So it wasn't the impulse buy that most people would do to ease suffering. Much like binging to ease suffering. Because it makes you feel good. I feel OK wiht the decision to buy it and my on again off again romance with ebay is ingited yet again. I am currently watching 26 items of which I REALLY want about 10. Largely picture frames ( a passion of mine - I have picture EVERYWHERE ) and some candles and a bowl that was discontinues in my china pattern that the cats broke. And a teapot in my china patter discontinued so many years ago I can't believe they are still selling them on ebay.

So the aftermath seems to be realistically harmless and I got my clock for the kitchen.

The other thing that has started happening is my nesting instinct has kicked in. At 10PM last night, I started cleaning off and reorganizing my desk. Even I was surprised. I feel so much better for it too.

Tomorrow I head to PA for my sister-in-law's baby shower. Of course the weather is supposed to be gale force winds and torrential rain. Typical. Last time we went, it was 9 MILLION degrees and I was picking up Wolfi from his foster mom to go to our furever home. All that travel in 9 million degree heat with a 3 month old kitten in the back and stupid traffic at the Holland tunnel.

If I weren't going, I start doing my closets again. Of course there is always Sunday. I really want to take advantage of my mental state to clean house - literally. And I also want to get the furniture I don't want out, and the stuff that I do want ( at brother's house) in.

In closing, my normal organizational skills are heightened and my behaviours are changing now too which is good.