I say this because Autumn is here. My housekeeper left after cleaning house on Monday and I walked in to a peaceful environment. And a sweeping sense on contentment filled me. I started to think about what it would be like to share my space with someone that I had vowed to love till death do we part. I don't know if I know HOW to share on those terms. I'm sure I can learn - most people do. It just occurred to me that at this point in time I am not sure that I want to compromise. Anything.
Thats not to say that if the right man came along and all things being equal, I would say "sorry not willling to compromise". I'm not stupid. But I'm not kiling myself looking right now.
So now that its fall, I come home, I turn on my rock fountain in the foyer, remove my shoes and survey my home. You know what I see? I see my humidifier humming quietly in the corner ( It does not need to in the summer as the humidity is higher) keeping my skn and my piano healthy, my candles waiting to be lit and fill the air with pumpkin or fireside smells ( in summer its clean cotton or ocean side), my kitchen with it's homey french provincial wall paper, my bathroom with the multitude of bath salts and bubble baths and my bedroom with my wicker ceiling fan and the most comfortable bed on earth. And I am filled with a sense of calm. I always wanted my home to have this feeling when I arrived in it. I have the foundation in place and I intend to continue it.
The other things that make me so content now are my food systems ( lots of slow cooking in croc pots, different cheeses, roasts, stews and soups) and my exercize routines. I hate working out in the heat. Mostly what happens to me in the fall is the basic nesting instinct. I spend a lot more time cooking for myself good wholesome healthy foods, I pull out my fall and winter clothes, my snuggly pj's, drink hot tea and mostly I organize like mad.
I did my kitchen cabinets over the weekend. I completed re-organized them now that I have lived with this kitchen for two years. The cabinets originally made sense, now they make MORE sense and I am finding it easier to keep them this way. Clothing closets are next.
Fall is truly one of my favorite seasons. I think I am the best version of myself in the fall. The colors I love, the smells, the weather, the foods. All of these things make me happy and give me that overall sense of peace and contentment. I looked back on previous falls in my life and it always makes me feel peaceful.
I was talking that over today with my friend Jenna. She and I live close by and try to meet for coffee on the days that all 4 of her kids are in school. Today we were going to meet in a starbucks that honestly, I thought I knew how to get there however I got lost and we were short on time to start with. So she picked up my coffee for me and we ended up back at her house. We had our coffee and caught up. We talked about men( because we ALWAYS do that - both hers and mine! ), we talked about jobs, mutual friends, meanwhile her 3 year old daughter was cooking for us in the pretend kitchen. We got around to talking about fair weather friend and how we are going to have dinner soon. We were talking about different foods and what not. We found out that we both LOVE fall. We can't get enough of it. The clothes, the food, the colors, the hair, the holidays.
I found that to be so funny that she feels the same way about this season. Its not a common discussion point - I don't normally ask my friends "What is the best season for to feel like the best version of you?" That's a crazy question. But we both do.
we are not going be having our Halloween party this year and it almost feels weird. Usually we are running around planning our costumes. So this is another weird thing.
All in all - this fall feels nice, the weather is cool enough and sleeping is good. I am content.
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