and there goes my patience

After the raw rough emotion of the weekend I woke up much more content back to my old self.

Except that I have a short fuse.

Now, those of you who know me know I have a fairly long fuse but when we get to the end - run for cover. I am, after all, my father's daughter.

I worked today. I had a lot of things to get done. I am dealing with the move of my order entry hub from MO to Buenos Aires. I have to be honest here, this move is quite possibly the worst decision I have had to deal with. And I had nothing to do with it.

I spend an inordinate amount of time, explaining to them how they need to write my orders, how fast it needs to be done and I am escalating right and left to get things done in a timely fashion as there really isn't an reasonable explanation I can provide to my customer for delays outside of 48 hours.

Not that I am expecting any of you to have to deal or even understand this, but the extra time that I need to take out of day to manage them when I didn't have to manage the weldon Springs, MO group at all is making me nuts.

So my patience was short to start with, its Monday and this is taking up most of my time.

For my job I keep several different instant message systems up. AOL occasionally, Lotus notes Sametime and Windows Communicator. I like Communicator the best out of all three, in the event you were wondering about my opinion. One thing that is a pet peeve of mine, is people who have entire conversations on it in place of the phone. Now it's one thing when you are on a conf call, but something else entirely when I am just sitting here working on my spreadsheets. My true pet peeve about it largely deals with the fact that if I am just sitting here typing conversation back and forth with my co-workers than chances are neither of us is getting much done. sure once in a blue on a slow day during the moratorium maybe but every day I have co-workers who do this. Then to hit me line after line after line while I am trying to respond to the first comment?????

Normally, I yell at the lap top and tell whoever it is to shut up. today I was so incensed with my lack of patience that I shut all three down altogether. I offered up the suggestion to call me while I am typing so as not to seem anti-social. I wanted to chat but I really had to get this stuff done. I don't want to be pressured tomorrow like I am every week to get all these reports out and the client was on holiday today so I was making the most of a semi day off. I also have a truckload of orders to put in tomorrow.

I was a little bit stressed about teaching today too.... I was afraid that I would lose my patience with my kids but I was OK with them. They can pull me out of that mood really easily which is my patience isn't suffering now. I taught Gil and Jen today and they did pretty good.

So now I am driving home and it's dark out, I can't find my glasses and I notice that my right eye ( the one that had the torn cornea) vision has degraded substantially. everything is blurry until I am close enough to touch it. This is not acceptable to me. I have a sinking feeling that this is scarring of the cornea and I am praying that can be addressed. The other thing that scares me is the steroid drops degrading the vision. I have an appt on the 20th. So I am trying to adjust to this. My left eye is perfect - no problem. I am planning to call the doctor tomorrow though just to ask about this.

I had called my best friend, Jax, last night while sitting in the drive through line at McD's for the eternity that it seemed like. She called me back this evening between kids. she couldn't believe how angry I was last night and how impatient I was today. I know that this is part of my grieving process - I recognized it immediately.

Its getting back to normal around here! Slowly Slowly....