Gold Dust at my feet

I've snapped out of it. All of it.

Here's the last few days in a recap:

My best friend came and stayed a couple of more days with me, it was entirely lovely AND I didn't freak out. In fact I did a load of laundry, the dishes and conducted my normal business as if he wasn't here. The housekeeper came and cleaned with him here too.

I realized that I needed to chill. I'm getting better at this. I'm happy about it.

We both have gigs on Friday so we can't see each other perform. Ah such is the life of musicians.

I attended the vigil service on Tues and the wake on Wed for Ella's mom. It was heartbreaking and happy all in one. She and I are going rekindle our friendship, its all still there. It's lovely and it makes me so happy.

I spent some quality time with my God Daughter at the wake, she is now 15 and beautiful. I helped her pick a song for Vocal Jazz auditions in school. We had a lovely time. I missed her so much and she has grown up so lovely.

When I came home both nights, my best friend was still here. It was entirely lovely.

My oldest friend sounds OK and that makes me happy but she's got a long haul on her hands.

My other friend Lily has decided to try marriage again. Given my stress level on the subject, her optimism is infectious and I fund myself smiling and happy for her. I was at the last one, so was my best friend for that matter, and we are invited to this small but elegant affair in Newport RI. Black tie, hotel room comped for the night, I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun and I am so happy for her.

We have a number of formal events coming up and I am thrilled because he is coming with me!

I feel like I am walking on air now. Things turn around so quickly in this world. I am happy. Generally speaking, happiness prevailed because in front of her mother's casket, Ellan and I sat and talked for half an hour. We have always had each other's lives in the focus through mutual friends, but we haven't talked until I called her in Dec. We missed each other and it was like not a day had passed. I hate keeping up with Liz through her babysitter but I was out of options. Now I don't have to.

My best friend was doing his sound engineering in the city working doubles which means home at 2-3AM and up again and on the train by 6AM for another day of it. He ha a couple of weeks of this leading up to 9-11 when he went in to see his friends from the morgue of 9-11. Every year they meet and go to the service together then to mass at St Pat's. Then he came to me. Contrite for not calling which is unacceptable.

Things are going so much better for me. I even lost 3 lbs of the superficial weight gain.... Yay me - 3 more to go!