Playing House

A short while ago I wrote a post about when I was a little girl. I referred to some of the games that I enjoyed playing back then. Playing house was one of my favorite favorite activities and I was ALWAYS the mother.

I had my own play kitchen, I had a china tea set ( which I still have) and my dad had built me a china closet for that tea set. I loved this game. I made my friends be the other members of the houshold and supplemented with dolls and stuffed animals when needed.

As I grew up, the idea of playing house was starting to morph as people started moving together. It took on a different connotation. Not a negative one per se, but a different one. It started when my now step dad moved in with us when I was 9. They didn't marry until I was 12. Thus they lived together with us kids ( 5) until that time. It was my mom who didn't want to get married. She was afraid that their relationship would change with marriage.


Other than room - mates, I have never "lived" with someone I was involved with for anything longer than a long weekend and I was in my early 20's at the time. To be honest I am not entirely comfortable with the idea as it leaves an escape hatch if you will.

My experience with "playing house" as a grown up is very different now. I have managed and maintained a household just for me and the pets that I had. I know what it's like when an appliance dies and needs to be replaced, how the bills need to be addressed, doing laundry and food shopping. All these things that need to be handled. At my pace and my schedule.

The operating words, right? My pace and my schedule.


So, earlier this week, my best friend and I trialed more than 1 day together in a row with no one leaving. Two whole days in fact.

I have to say that it was an unplanned event. He arrived one night, a mutual friend stopped by while he was here, because I forgot completely that she was stopping by to drop something off. Providence though - We all needed to discuss a fund raiser she is trying to set up and it worked perfectly that she came here while he was. We had wine and cheese and talked and laughed.


When she left, we watched some movies and relaxed. It was a lot of fun. I had a full work day the next day so I didn't give this a lick of thought. I ended up in my office 2 times this week instead of 2 times a year...

The next morning I got up, showered and tiptoed around a bit so as not to wake him while I got ready to go to work. Fully expecting him to be gone when I arrived home.

I was late in getting home as I had a follow up almost immediately with one of my engineers. I walked in and saw his reading glasses still on the coffee table and almost laughed out loud. I was so surprised - pleasantly - that he was still here.

We spent the day puttering around the house, I worked, he put the groceries away, I worked, he fixed the shower drain. I worked some more, he took a nap, we had dinner, he brought in my air conditioner from the UPS Man. He wasn't feeling so well, so we took it easy and relaxed the evening away. Then we went to bed.

The next morning, we sat with coffee, he checked his messages for the first time in 2 days on his cell, right in front of me, on speakerphone. Nothing to hide.

It was entirely lovely.

But.

The last night, by about 10PM, I noticed that I was getting fidgety. I knew my housekeeper was coming the next day and I needed to pick up and fold laundry. Two problems, I didn't want to because I was exhausted. Secondly it felt rude. Hence my problem.

I was feeling claustrophic, and it wasn't about him. I love him and I would happily spend every second with him. So this was weird.

Upon further reflection it occured to me that I couldn't relax the second night because I didn't want him to feel like he was in the way and I had things I needed to do. I am not at the point where I can do normal day to day chores in front of him because I am still in "entertaining " mode.

Well, it's new. To a degree. it has the potential to develop further but then again we are at too early of a stage for it.

I'm a creature of habit and have lived alone for a long time. I want to share my life with him. I will happily make those accommodations, but when we are ready for it.

We are still talking and sharing. I told him a really important, insanely personal secret that less than 5 people in world know about. His reaction was absolutely sweet and supportive and slightly comical. He was touched that I mentioned it, understanding that he is very limited company.

It was an important trial and a good one I think. Was it perfect? no.

But it didn't suck.