She gets weary

I'm weary.

I'm so far past tired that I no longer care.

The reasons don't change though the percentage of issue does.

The bottom line is I need to recupperate. I need a vacation. I need to not think about work for more than 24 - 48 hours.

There's another change in there that I need also, but it's too many layers above my control.

The weariness comes from me though. I haven't figured out a way to deal with the minutiae of my job and then explain it to my boss and again to the lead PM.

But I don't wish to talk about this.

The weariness is 50% work and 50% personal.

I spoke to a friend of mine who is Holistic healer. Quite renowned as it turns out.

I mentioned that I don't sleep well, since my best friend started seeing the doctor, and that I am dealing with situational blood pressure spikes. Doctor doesn't want it medicated at this point. But wants it watched and monitored.

She gave me an herbal concoction, don't ask me what it's called as I don't recall, but it is in a vodka base - yum.... Anyway. It was an interesting discussion as she explained what it was and what it did and how it worked. It was for emotional stresses. stresses of the heart. One of the herbs was nicknamed skullcap and the teacher she had described it as a hug for your head.

I loved that.

So I have this mixture and I am trying it tonight. I'm a little bit emotionally overcharged tonight. I am not one to jinx myself so no details right now.

The point being, I do not want to add meds if I don't have to. If this doesn't work, there are energy workups that can be done. I love her though, before we got there, she said " now this is where we get into the 'woo woo' stuff" I almost laughed in her face..... It was cute.

Other than the weariness, my overall outlook is positive. I need to weariness to go away. I miss my energy and I miss my optimism even though I am not down or anything - I am definitely positive I just am not as optimistic as I could be.

I'm actually tired and I am hoping to be able to sleep tonight.