In my family, we have but one crown prince.
If you count ALL the kids he's literally the middle child of 5.... which is odd by any psychology standards.
But if you look closer, you will note that the two children that are born of one mother, the crown prince is the only boy AND the youngest.
I'm no longer resentful and the reason is that this transcends time. All mothers are like this with their sons. It's ridiculous but it is what it is.
I was my dad's princess so it balances out actually.
But at times for both my brother and I, it was tough to take from the other parent.
My best friend has an interesting dynamic in his family as well. His mother gave birth to 4 kids: 2girls and 2boys. My best friend is the oldest boy and his brother is the youngest child AND boy.
And he's dying as you all know.
Their mom has traditionally made his brother the favorite - he's their crown prince. She did everything for him. She went to all his performances, she took care of him in every possible way that she could.
According to my best friend, she has done substantially less for him. I suspect that the truth lies somewhere in between.
The past 6 weeks have been difficult for the two of us and his mom. She is not "wild" about the change of status here. He's not wild that she's turning all the love and affection onto him and I frankly don't know what the hell to do.
She sent me an email on Thursday night asking me to have him call her as she is having trouble reaching him. By the time I saw the email, he had spoken to her twice. I responded anyway politely and positively confirming that i would relay the message. I don't want this getting off on the wrong foot.
Tonight he's playing at a very Shee Shee restaurant on the North shore. She requested reservations 2 weeks ago in order to come hear him. I deliberately chose not to go to give her time and space to enjoy her oldest son's performance with minimal stress.
He just called one his break. They didn't show up.
I know he's disappointed or he would not have called.
It's interesting. On the one hand, he doesn't want the showering of love and affection and motherly concern, but on the other he feels it's his right that he get some of the benefit that his brother has gotten all these years. I knew he was expecting this to happen even at the point where he walked out the door tonight, but to hear his voice, trying to be matter of fact and still cut her break ( she has been in the city most of the week with the brother),on the phone tonight really made me sad. He is so good and so talented and a great showman. I know she is proud of him. I know she loves to hear him perform and I know that in her mind she treats her boys equally, but somehow in mine, given my experience on the subject, I know she's not.
And though he says it doesn't really bother him, now that the option is out there, even by default, it hurts him a little.
What I think is really getting to me about this is the fact that she also sent him an email about how he has been less than helpful where his brother is concerned this week. She should only know what he was like when he returned from the hospital after visiting. It was not good. He just can't do it anymore. It's slowing tearing him up to see his brother this way. And there is nothing anyone can do. The guilt card here is not a good choice.
Which brings out the mean mama bear in me. I get ridiculously defensive about the people that I love and very outspoken.
This is the post that has no end because this is just the beginning.....
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