These are the hot buzz words in my household and life of late.
Compromise:
You have all seen the toilet paper post. That was less about compromise and more about choosing your battles. I lump the two together because they are linked in a way. Fighting every battle is not the way to go. I learned this the hard way years and years ago. Fighting every battle is the path to dominate and have your own way. That is how choosing your battles is part of the compromise.
I am still working my behind off on this. The compromise is always a challenge for me, the person who has lived alone for the past 15 years. It's a challenge for him who has lived alone for the past 10. Imagine the fun we have with this and both of us have control issues.
I think that my neighbor said it best this morning. The women have a tendancy to take care of the men and that's that. IN my case that is most certainly true. And don't get me wrong, because I like to take care of him. It doesn't bother me one bit. But that does require compromise as well.
Communication:
Crap.
Meaning - I suck at this.
Not that I am incapable of communicating - I am not. Not that I never do it - I do. But do I really say what's happening in my heart of hearts? Not always.
And he does - to a point.
Certainly better than I do.
I am working on this. This and trust - not good at either. BUT I consider it a work in progress and I didn't freak out when he took my IPOD. He told me who called him today while he was asleep.
He also told me that the whore called him day before yesterday. She was very upset that he was "shacking up with me ".
Seriouslly - How crude can you get?
His reponse - perfect by the way - was...
"This stopped being your business 6 months ago".
I loved him so much in that moment. And it made me want to try harder to communicate. So that's a good thing.
I thought about why I am not good at it. I am afraid. I don't like strife and battle. I am afraid that the person will walk out on me or hate me or any of those things. It has actually happened to me so it's not without basis. However I am working really hard at this and I think it can get better.
I think back at the fact that I shared my depression with him. That was huge. Hell - my own family doesn't even know that. But he does. And he didn't judge me. Nor I him when he told me about his own.
Compatability:
This is unbelievable. Though I am writing about all the things that are weird and different, the reality is that I have never started living with someone that fit so perfectly with me as this man. I mean literally no one. Our compability is amazing.
And here's the neat thing to me. He was laying in bed this morning.... I was changing my clothes.... I caught him checking me out....
Silly - maybe. Flattering - hell yes. Surprising - kind of. We see each other at our best and worst now.... So catching that in the mirror was really amazing to me.
We are now filtering through the chores and through the moving process.
For a person who hates change, I kind of like this one even though it's not how I saw my life unfold on the one hand and on the other, it is completely what I expected.
No comments:
Post a Comment