Just trying to hold it together

Jon is fond of saying that he is not your average man, meaning:

1. he does change the toilet paper when the roll is finished.
2. He refills ice cube trays when they are empty
3. He does put the dinner dishes in the sink AND rinses them off.
4. He does call when he is going to be late and he does recall key dates MOST of the time.
5. HE does cook.
6. He knows the fundamental use of the toilet and does leave the seat in the position that he found it - though because the gender balance is 50/50 I don't complain if it's not where I like it.

So of course it stands to reason that some of his downfalls might well be:

1. clothing on the floor, the couch, the chair etc ( I generally can't complain here and don't because I am not a lot better about that - I just relegate to the bedroom so that I can close the door)
2. I have the tendancy of being confused with the role of "mom"
3. He does hog the remote
4. He is unable to find things in the house without screaming and swearing.

There are more... but moving on....

Tuesday morning, I am woken up VERY early by him walking into the bedroom, and yelling "HEY WHERE DID I PUT THE STACK OF MEDICAL BILLS"

Yelling.

While I am in a deep sleep.

Now anyone who knows me, knows you can lose a body part for that.

I can't even think of my own name let alone where a stack of bills I have never had my hands on ever would have been placed.

So I respond "I don't know - you had them last".

THis response was met with some very creative swearing and yelling and finally the door slamming.

I - went back to sleep.

So the email that I received this morning had me HOWLING with laughter. I mean literally howling.

CLASSES FOR MEN AT OUR LOCAL LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS SIGN UP BYEND OF MONTHNOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8 PARTICIPANTS EACH.

• Topic 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. -- Step by Step, withSlide Presentation.
• Topic 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself? -- RoundTable Discussion.
• Topic 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Liftingthe Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls/Nearby Bathtub? -- Group Practice.
• Topic 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and theFloor. -- Pictures/Explanatory Graphics.Topic
• 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into theKitchen Sink? -- Examples on Video
• Topic 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your SignificantOther. -- Help Line Support and Support Groups
• Topic 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with Looking in theRight Places Instead of Turning the House Upside Down Whilescreaming. -- Open Forum.
• Topic 8: Health Watch - Bringing her Flowers is Not Harmful to YourHealth. -- Graphics and Audio Tapes.
• Topic 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. -- Real LifeTestimonials.
• Topic 10: Is it Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While sheParallel Parks? -- Driving Simulations
• Topic 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother andWife. Online Classes and Role-Playing.
• Topic 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. -- RelaxationExercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
• Topic 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays,Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You'reGoing to be Late. -- Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and FullLobotomies Offered.
• Topic 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used. -- Livedemonstration.** Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to thesurvivors.**

So you can imagine the hilarity at topic 7. Even he had to laugh at that!

Men - who can figure you guys out?
Women - who can figure us out?

We're all nuts.