a mid-life crisis does NOT mean corvette's and hot chicks

At least not for most women.

For all people, A mid life crisis is simply an urban term assigned an evolution of your life. Moving into the next phase.

I have discovered that when I moved AWAY from the things that once defined me, I felt lost. Very lost.

I still feel lost and that's largely because I did not replace those things with more evolved things.

Cryptic - maybe. But wait.

When Jon had his "midlife crisis" he was and still is to a large extent battling fading youth. On the one hand - he wants his back badly, on the other he wants to slow down and stop working so hard to impress today's youth with how "hip" he is.

It's made life hard for both of us because I was the one who had my shit together and he did not.

My midlife crisis looks like this:

• My relationship with God, while fine and I pray daily, has had me away from my church for a few months - though I did manage to get to two OTHER churchs. I miss it but I have very conflicted feelings about going back. Until they are identified and negotatiated I can't attend my own church. It's nothing personal - it's me and a professional obligation.
• my relationship with Jon is still uneven - though much better and improved. It's just not as settled and stable as I would like.
• My house is a mess. Literally. More so than even I can deal with.
• My relationship with myself is a problem. I am overly critical of myself. I am not taking any more care of myself than I absolutely have to.

This is the short list.

So in last month I decided to identify one thing on this list that I Can tackle.

Of course being the perverse psycho that I am I picked the hardest one - me.

Jon and I are walking in the morning. We are going to do 3 days a week together. I also plan to watch my diet FURTHER - I already do pay attention to it. I have a dear friend in Arizona who is going to be my diet / fitness buddy and I am really excited about it.

Jon and I talked about getting back into yoga. I can't wait! My wonderful friend and Massage Therapist ( Nessa) got me thinking. Yoga is so great. I miss it. Yoga, meditation.

She got me to change my skin care to something that's not onyl better FOR it, but works amazing results in a week. In researching the company, I realized that for the first time, I was excited about integrating these products into my life.

I am considering acupuncture to help deal with the eczema/allergy/asthma issues.

I'm not UNHAPPY - I just know that there are things that I need to change as I evolve into the better version of me. I know I"m in there somewhere.