playing hooky

I have never actually played hooky in my life.

I have never once called in sick and gone to the beach.

I have never skipped a class without a good reason ( coffee and euchre anyone?)

Today, I woke up at 6 with a raging headache, bodyaches and scratchy throat the urge to sleep like the dead. So I called in sick.

Jon woke me at 11. We both looked freaked - him because he had fallen asleep on the couch and forgot to wake me and me because I didn't wake him then to tell him I was calling in.

Surprise Surprise.

I was impressed to find that I was feeling completely better - I took 2 aleve just to make sure that these faded away and went back to bed for an hour.

When I emerged, Jon suggested that I go to the beach. What a great idea. It didn't happen - but it was a great idea.

I ended up going to my best friend's home and having lunch with her. We played air hockey on the new table they got for the boys.

I had a lovely time and we got to talking about some things happening in my home lately - good things. Like the discussion of how marriage takes hard work that the three of us had and him using Us as the example. THe other thing is his issues with his mom that persist from our eventful spell in the hospital.

This one is kind of hard for me. Once I discovered that she was not my number one fan, I have realized that I am not so quick to defend her. What really cinched it for me is that he has a warped sense of reality and hers - is worse.

For some reason she labors under the illusion that she rushed to his bedside and was there constantly.

OK here's the reality check - because I was there - every day and every time that I was allowed to be.

She did rush to him though she was hour and half away - so it took 2 more hours to get back once I called. It wouldn't have mattered anyway had she gotten there sooner - we would have been standing in the hallway together waiting for him to be moved. She was there that day,and once a day for the 2 days he was in ICU and once while he was in CCU. That's 3 times by my count.

Once he was in a regular room, she came the day after his suicide commentary, and one other time before he was moved in the psych unit. That's 5 so far - stay with me.

They moved into the psych unit. I saw him there 2 times and hten they moved him again. She hadn't gotten there yet.

In the all male psych unit they moved him to, she was there one time. And that was it until he came home.

6 times in 20 days.

I don't expect her to be there every minute of every day that he was there as I was. I kept her in the loop for every single thing that went on and she did the same with me.

He is angry at her for very specific and personal reasons. He's been harboring it for quite sometime. I have long since dropped it as a topic because he isn't prepared to deal with her.

So I was in some state of surprise when he mentioned to me that he was still angry about the lack of concern and lack of response she displayed at the hospital - "I got a social worker not a mom" is how he puts it. (She's a social worker so it's not a stretch).

I told him that mom's love their children - all of them - but sometimes they just aren't capable of doing the things that YOU need them to do, sometimes though they may love you to the best of their ability, it may not be enough but it is all that they are capable of. She is only human. She did the best she could.

The fact is, she did try and social work him, She took his personal choices for his care out of the equation. She put his brother first even at the lowest point. When he came out of the sedative and was talking depression and suicide, the only person he wanted was his mom. Not me, not anyone - just her. I called and called and called - and she didn't come till the next day. She didn't feel that her presence would do anything for him.

I disagreed then and I disagree now. I did everything I could for him, and don't get me wrong, he is very thankful and happy that I was there and took care of him. I am not offended at all that he wanted his mom instead of me - I don't blame him one bit.

This has weighed on us for 2 months now. He's starting to talk about both with me - calmly and with her - not so much. She has resorted to threats which concerns me. He is not talking to her on the phone right now and he's not responding to her emails.

So I brought this tot he kitchen table because my best friend understands this kind of strife as she has some similar things happening in her own family.

It felt good to talk it out like that and it gave me energy to write it here.

The rest of the day I spent food shopping, cooking and cleaning - and it felt good. I made a bacon mushroom savory pie for dinner - he ate half of it. We had Pinot Noir and chocolate ice cream for dessert.

We are planning some fun things to do now. We are also scheduling his surgery soon.

Playing half a day of hooky was really worth while. I should have done this sooner. It's like a surprise gift.

I would not make this a habit - but boy it felt good today.

Bonus: another half lb down. :-)))))