I want to thank you all for letting me whine yesterday. It was actually very cathartic for me and the overall answer is that I need to have faith that if I am doing all the right things and setting my smaller goals for myself that eventually my body will catch up. The good news is that I did write down my specific goal of 10 pounds by Christmas. I also ate healthfully and smart choices today and I did a 30 minutes power walk on the Walking DVD that I purchased over the weekend to help me get through the holidays. I'm feeling A LOT better about this.
I'm not as stressed about what happens when I lose the weight to the big goal, it's a long way off and I don't need to address it today. I just need to enjoy and learn on this journey and remember that these changes are full lifestyle ones so I need to do what makes the most sense for my life.
The one change I plan to make is to add a 10 minute power walk every morning with these DVD's before work. That will be in addition to the Firm Body Sculpting 3 days a week and the 30 mins walk 4 days a week. This is totally doable and I will add more or change it as needed.
On a sad note, Rod passed away due to a fall in the shower causing him to bleed out. The memorial service was in Tampa on Saturday and I didn't find out until Sunday. Even if our email server had been up on Saturday I wouldn't have been able to get to Tampa for it and no details were provided. So I am planning to do a toast in his honor with some of his friends. It's only right and I feel that he would nod his approval from heaven and be only too pleased when I yell BON BON across the room at some poor unsuspecting soul. And I'll do it too! He'll laugh. I miss him. I just really hope that he didn't suffer overly much.
So today I chatted with Jenna and we started looking at party favors and decorations for eeeman's birthday party. It's starting to get fun now.
I have some basic housekeeping to do that I did not get done this weekend.... laundry, dishes that sort of thing. But I was in phenomenal voice this weekend and I am trying not to get the col that keeps threatening to arrive - I am on airborn constantly, using my neti pot and just keeping my voice warmed up. I was popping out the F's from Der Holle Racht all weekend better than I ever have and that sucker is HARD. Melody and I talked about it and decided that when you sing those notes, you feel them in places of your body that you didn't think you could imagine. I'll let you imagine that.
Lastly, things with the benefactor are interesting. I definitely have the upper hand right now, and though I am not comfortable with any one person having an upper hand in a relationship, I think that balance of power has somewhat shifted from the parent to the child. The child now, is calling the shots in the relationship. The good news is, since I am the child, and I am the person that I am, that means that I am making the terms of this relationship more in tune with me, while still honoring the person that she is. You see, there are facets of her personality ( largely anger and insecurity and all the things that make that up - lying, CYA, embellishment, flash emotions, anger, negativity) that I do not care for but do recognize why they are there. And you have to take the fleas with the dog. But I am choosing to use frontline on this relationship. I have put into practice the ruleset that I live by with every other person that I know. I have good relationships with my friends and my family and this one is going to fit me this time as well as her. I think this will be a good thing. We don't talk every day anymore either, but it's every other day.
I doubt highly that the zebra will change her stripes, but I feel that she needs to have the opportunity to try. I will not abandon her, she is family and has no one else and I won't have that. But I won't go back to the relationship that we had as it was overly dysfunctional. A step past the line of normal dysfunction..... LOL!!!
Things are falling into place, slowly.........
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