Month 5 was a really crazy month full of more ups and more downs than I think I have had in the last 12 months. I made a lot of progress in almost all areas.....at least the ones that were important to me this month.
Scenario 1 - Health
Exercise: I am maintaining my exercize plan though I took a few days off this week for good behaviour. truthfully I took a few days off to accommodate some work issues. I will be going back tomorrow.
Food - Hit a lovely plateau and then moved past it. I'm very happy about that and noticing that my appetite has actually decreased. AND I am no longer emotionally eating. I do need more veggies but fruit and dairy is kicking some nice booty.
Journal - I continue to journal every single day. Every bite of food, every bit of activity. I have added a space for my daily weight taken in the morning. My daily resting heart rate. I check my blood pressure once in the morning when I wake up and again before I go to bed. Unless I feel really stressed or pressured. Then I check it again to see where it's at. It's a good gauge because I really do tend to internalize things. I have been better about it. but it does factor into the blood pressure.
Overall Health Management - I went back on the birth control pills with no adverse reaction to blood pressure. Yay me. I hate not being on them. For a variety of reasons.
Scenario 2 - Job/Career
Leader is making me a little bit nuts. He doesn't think before he speaks. His answer when face with a problem, change whose addressing it. I feel undervalued and expressed that. I feel that I am taking the bulk of the heat from him when he is called on the carpet by his boss. I have expressed to him that I feel like he is forcing me out of a job and he thought I was crazy. Which I may be. One of the things my team has noticed is he likes pushing the button for job insecurity with me. So I had a heart to heart with Poodle and decided that I was not going to respond or react to those danglers. Instead I will address the content through which they are coming from only. If a defense is needed, it will be succinct and not reactionary. I am deciding that I am going to be in a good mood at work and that everything is going to be awesome every day. It worked today and I was busy as hell, but in a great mood and very productive.
Scenario 3 - My home
House is still clean - in fact it's being cleaned tomorrow. I lost the vacuum cleaner bags. I found them as soon as I bought new ones - Argh! so I won't need new ones for quite some time. I still haven't taken the time to change my curtains and slip covers. Maybe we'll do that on my birthday.....
Scenario 4 - finances
Got paid some extra $$$ for working the recital for my kids - I wish I had been in a better frame of mind to enjoy it more. But it was a panicky thing for me.
I got my car serviced, got my inspection done and now I need to get my new registration.
The IRS rudely sucked up all of my tax refund and the bad news is I still owe - but it's much lower now.... so that's good. I just keep paying them monthly.... You know what they say - nothing is guaranteed except death and taxes!
Scenario 5 - Education
My last kid FINALLY went to competition. NO idea how he did score-wise. But all accounts say he kicked BUTT. He was a nervous wreck. He's so adorable and has so much talent and promise.
My two other voice students came back with 28's - perfect scores on their songs. I couldn't have been prouder of them both. All my kids did so well this year. I'm thrilled for them.
I am singing a solo from Brigadoon ON my birthday. Waitin' for my dearie. Oh dearie....
Lessons are still going well. I am most likely not going back to Bel Canto in the fall. I doubt they will even have a new director since my coach turned in his resignation after the last concert. I am more or less disgusted by the situation political and otherwise. My step mom, while I love her, will never be able to support a new director since my dad. We just had our third one separate and she turns on all of them the minute they make an error. it's like she has everything scripted, but they aren't allowed to see the script. So if they go off script, they get written out of the final act. I can't continue to participate in a group that operates like this. So I'll take a semester or two off for sure and see where they end up. I hate to abandon ship but it's not right.
Scenario 6 - Family & Friends
My family is wonderful. My sister looks well, Munch is a stunning and wonderful baby. Anna Banana is quite the charmer now - smiling and flriting with everyone. Sucking on beer bottles ( her fathers idea and they are empty). My parents were in good form. We had a lovely early Fathers day in NJ. It was the anniversary of my dad's passing. I miss him a lot but I really try to live my life to make him proud.
I am still spending a lot of time with my best friend. It's definately interesting. It's definately proven to me that I am willing to stand up for myself when needed and stand my ground when I am right. It has also taught me about apology ( his not mine) and showed me a lot of what's important to me is also important to him.
I am spending a lot of time with my best girl friend here in town too. I am starting to teach her son piano in exchange for laundry which is a dream for me. I hate doing laundry. I resent paying for it in my own building. So this arrangement works out for both of us. I love her family and her so much - they are so good to me. I am very lucky to have them in my world.
Scenario 7 - Self esteem
OK learned a LOT last month. A real lot. I have to say, living life in the middle is safe. Very safe. "Nothings gonna harm you, not while I'm around" runs through my head when I think of living in the middle.
But it's boring. Once I realized that life is about the ups and downs. And the middle. I was able to experience those things fully and enjoy them for what they are. Learn from them if they are mistakes.
I am probably living my life for better or worse and experiencing it for the first time in years. I am enjoying and savoring it, and I get some awesome stories to tell later. ( See the post on throwing a drink NOT a glass- it was a hoot!)
My self esteem is steadly going up or maintaining. In some areas I still feel lacking a bit but I am learning how to deal with that and improve myself as well.
Scenario - Faith
I saw my priest for some counseling. it was probably the single best thing I did in the month of May. While I really don't want or need to divulge the details of the session, I walked away taking part of the advice fairly immediately and tucking some away for some future date when I may or may not need it.
I am attending church weekly again. Something about the ritual makes me feel closer to God when I am there. I pray while I am there, not just go through the motions. I sing I rejoice and no matter how bad things feel at the time, I am loved there. By God and by Fr Chris and by my fellow parish family. It's a good place to be and a good thing to do. I sang a funeral there for a friend's grandfather 2 weeks ago. I spent Mother's day with that family as well. ( after being with my own mother of course).
Scenario - Inner Goddess
Tried the eyelash extensions. Not sure if we'll go back to well on that one again, but if I do they will be shorter for sure. They appear to be high maintenancec.
The green contacts are ME!!!! I love them - this is it.
Hair is colored. Hair is cut - too short. but it grows.
Had the pedicure.
Need to see Dentist still and dermatologist.
Bought new clothes - they are stunning. I look good them.
Overall I am pleased with the work that I have done here. I am continuing to do the work and make the progress. I am down 10 lbs. My WW attendance is low but I plan to bring that back up.
I am taking charge again. Watch out.
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