Let the bad times become the good times

"When I was younger man I hadn't a care
Foolin' around, hitting the town, growing my hair
You came along and stole my heart when you entered my life
Ooh babe you got what it takes so I made you my wife"

The man I am in love with was this guy. Describing him as Peter Pan would be an understatement.

Since then I never looked back
It's almost like living a dream
And ooh I love you

He has looked back. Many times. He spent a lot of dwelling time looking back. Now I think he's starting to get off his butt and possibly remove his head from it. His life is improving ever so slowly because it HAS to.

You came along from far away and found me here
I was playin' around, feeling down, hittin' the beer
You picked me up from off the floor and gave me a smile
You said you're much too young, your life ain't begun, let's walk for awhile

There is a lot of truth to the old adage, The best husbands come from reformed playboys. I know this to be true of him. Ever so slowly I see the turn away from old destructive behaviours. I see new and stable ones taking their place. There is never a more apt description than this verse. That includes the drinking, the plaring around, the feelin down... all of it.

And as my head was spinnin' 'round
I gazed into your eyes
And thought ooh I want you
Thank you babe for being a friend
And shinin' your light in my life
'cause ooh I need you
As my head was comin' round
I gazed into your eyes
And thought ooh I want you

We started out as friends. I believe that some of the best relationships started out that way. We have this connection, it's in each others eyes. We but have to look at each other and we know what the other is thinking and it was ALWAYS like that. And it continues.

Thanks again for being my friend
And straightenin' out my life
'cause ooh I need you

Honestly - those of you who know me - you know this is exactly what is happening. This part of the chorus. He tells me every day how much he appreciates me.

Since then I never looked back
It's almost like livin' a dream
Ooh I got you
If ever a man had it all
It would have to be me
And ooh I love you

One of my best friends, Elle, said the words "Let the Good times be the Bad" to me after her mom passed away in August.

Her mom told her this before she died. About marriage and relationships.

And if there was ever a couple that would know a little bit about this, it her parents.

What she meant, in essence, was that if you can support each through the bad times the good times are a piece of cake. When you look back on your life as a couple, you look at the bad times as well as the good because those are the times that you grow as a couple.

You have to grow individually but also together. It's a tough balance.

This morning, in the midst of all the negative stuff that's been going on lately, I awoke at 8Am to a song that means a lot to us and one that I love.

The irony here, I was in the middle of a horrific dream. Waking up to this song, with him standing in the doorway, proud of himself for getting his computer in and setup AND playing my favorite song, was a beautiful start to my day.

See here's the up's of late.

He told me the other day how lucky he was to have me and how good about himself I make him feel.

Then I spent some time with his niece who told me how happy she was that he had me in his life and told him not to screw it up.

He cooked me dinner twice in 4 days and did the dishes and tool out the garbage without being asked or prodded.

He started re-arranging cabinets and closets.

He brought me lunch.

He picked up music for me because he didn't think I would have time.

And most importantly, he is starting to become more optomistic. He admitted to being depressed and I gave him the job of re-arranging cabinets and closets.

He embraced it so succinctly that he is up and at it every day. He set up playlists of music I will like so I can listen while I work. He gave me a CD of all his personal original tunes.

And he wants to start to get to know my friends and my family more.

"If ever a man had it all
It would have to be me
And ooh I love you"

I never thought a life threatening disease would change things so positively for him and us. I am thankful every day and consider myself to be blessed. It's not been without it's thorns but I wouldn't trade it.