How much to say in a blogpost

I have some things in the hopper right now and I can't bring myself to post about them publicly yet.

Things like work, I can't put in publish mode. Not the gut wrenching brutally honest ones at any rate. For all good reasons.

But I was reading a book the other day. It's an old book that I read as teen an I kept the trio around because the author is very profound though she chooses to address the teen set. However, as an adult, I read these books from time to time on a different but yet the similar perspective as I did when I was younger.

Madeleine L'Engle wrote The Wrinkle in time series - wonderful. But the "Meet the Austins" Series is the one I keep around. A Ring of Endless light is an amazing story of a teenaged girl struggling with the death of a granndparent while living with her family at her grandparents home. She is also simultaneously dealing with boys and love, siblings and growing up in general. None of which is easy at any age. She is a poet.

The perspective I have now on this particular story is interesting. I used to identify with our Heroine, Vicky, most of the time. I still do in strange ways, but I find myself identifying with all the other characters in the story. Like the Widow who becomes the nurse to Vicky's grandfather. Her husband dies saving someone from drowning right in the first chapter of the story. He leaves behind two sons. One is younger thanVicky ( her younger sisters age in fact ) and the other is going off to college in the fall.

The widow speaks to her sons about grief in the book. It's a very short moment, but it always stuck with me. It's about life and death. Its about affirmations of life when tragedy strikes. The conversation between our heroine and dthe widow's eldest son seems pertinent to me right now....

" Why have I been so hungry all summer?" I asked

"Because eating is a part of life. So is loving"
It rang true. "Let's concentrate on eating, then. For now." Then I asked, "Have you been hungry too?"
"Famished. I talked to my mom about it, and she expained about it being an urge to live. When Dad's father died, he had a heart attack unexpectedly, just like dad - they wept, and then they made love. And she showed me that this wasn't being disrespectful but a-- what did she call it? An affirmation of the goodness of life."

-Madeleine L'Engle, A Ring of Endless Light

Since the title of this post is "How much to say in a blogpost", the answer is clear to me right now on this topic. The quote says all of what I need to say right now.

Blogging is interesting. I am an honest person by definition but I notice that I am careful with how and what I write lest I offend someone close to me. And I can tell you that I have had one friend me why I felt a particular way about them when I met them. It wasn't a bad thing, just a timing thing. I am sensitive to others feelings and even when they may drive me crazy, I won't write what I am feeling at the time, because worse than saying things you don't mean, is writing them. It sits there in cyberspace eternally in print. Just like words spoken can sit on the soul forever.

So not writing what I want to write at this point is a little bit troublesome, but I will get it sorted at some point and write something appropriate thats deferential to others. I just can't break a confidentiality agreement that I sign for work on paper, or a verbal one that I make to myself or a friend. I will wait it out till I can put my feelings into appropriate words that only affect me and no one else.