I was poking around on Myspace yesterday - not a common occurance so much. I generally sign in and check to see if any of my posse has sent me a comment or a message then I am off to the race called life.
But last night, in the midst of some crisis in my town, involving a chopper, large searchlight and all circling the area 2 blocks south of me to 2 blocks east of me, I was just messing around in Myspace.
I happened upon some pictures of my friends brother. The one who has ALS. These are the before pictures in a very bad "before / after " game. He is a beautiful person but even more so now that I see how he's changed.
You see, now Alex has to be in a Wheelchair full time with neck support. He has lost most of his physical functionality. His mind, naturally, is sharp as ever. That's the nature of this disease. And it's tortorous to it's victims.
Alex is turning 46. He was diagnosed by process of elimination roughly 6-7 years ago.
I won an award last year for a fund raiser I did to help his family raise money for a Handicapped equipped Van for wheelchairs. I was never comfortable with winning the award to be honest. It struck me as weird. I should win award for helping someone who needed help? I was thrilled to have been chosen and I was grateful to my president who nominated me and for the committee who approved me. I have it hung on the wall in my home, with a ticket from the event and a Publicity photo taken of some of the powers that be and myself. None with Alex and I can't lay my hands on those. I would prefer to have that here.
I spent some time meditating on him after this. I want to do more to help him. The family is in disarray. I give them a lot of credit though. They work really hard. They are much closer than mine is so when this tragedy struck, they just spent their time finding ways to make it work. They challenged the disease head on. Not just for Alex, but for anyone who suffers from this deadly disease. And we all pray daily for a cure.
Reality is I am doing what I can at this point. I donate money through that family to ALS, I hosted a fundraiser to help them out, I help provide stress relief for his siblings through friendship. But that feeling of helplessness and knowing that his life is cut short at this young age, not because of death, but due to incapacity, hurts me. Like his brother, he's a fantastic musician. His reputation precedes him. He is well loved.
It was both lovely and painful to see just how much he is loved on Myspace. I have added Alex to our prayers for the sick at church. I believe in prayer in numbers.
Of late, I have been praying a lot on my specific situations. In , it is my first topic in my conversations with God. After that, I touch on blessings for family and friends, then specific situations for friends/family who are having a tough time. LAst night, I did a full meditation on Alex, later on, one on me, then I did my regular prayer time on everything/everyone else.
It seems like a lot, but I will only tell you this, my prayers may not give me the answer I want, but they give me an answer.
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