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Today was the second Sunday of Easter.

THe Gospel of choice in Christian based churches was about THomas - doubting Thomas.

I adore my priest. He's young ( my age roughly). He spoke of his worst year. The year he couldn't wait to have over. He mentioned that he was in a job he hated, a church that wasn't comfortable, a masters program that wasn't working for him, family was having issues and he was alone. He went on to mention that good friends will stay with you and help you see the sun on the dark days, good friends will walk with you when you need them too and sometimes carry you when that's required.

I have to be honest, somehow that tied into the Gospel for today. I really didn't get past those last words. They are very true. And the ones who do this often times come from places you don't expect.

Bernie's version was a little bit different.... A friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a body. Same idea - with his unique twist of humor.

But the part that gets confusing is when the problems are with one of the "best friends". That's where we deal differently and it's subtle, very subtle and it needs to be handled delicately to a degree so as not to shake the foundation up too much. Right?

Or is it? Do you avoid? Do you confront? Do you pretend everything is normal and hope the awkwardness goes away?

I don't know the answers here.... but that's actually OK for now. Because I have other friends who are carrying and CARING for me right now when I need them.

You all know who you are.... Thank you for caring about me enough to help me through this. It's tough on me, but I am taking this to a higher power sometime this week. I have a wonderful counselor in my priest and I have talked over things with him of significantly more importance in the scheme of my life. In reading some of your blogs, you picked me up and carried me when you were not in an optimal place for yourselves. And in light of that..... I am grateful. Very, truly blessed and grateful.

It is kind of Strange though. While it's very important to me, I can't help taking a step back and thinking "how junior high is this?" or worse yet "This is embarassng to be dealing with when there are people out there grieving for lost loved ones, war, rape, death, illness...." But in the end, its still real to me and not going away. It's just dulled a bit after a lot of tears and then some sleep, then more tears. I prayed a lot this morning. Shortly I will be heading to bed and I will pray again. I have had several discussions with my dad ( don't look at me like that, I know he's dead. I still talk to the man and sometimes, when it's important, that's when I get my answers! ).

In fact, a problem solving technique that I like to employ is to shelve the problem until a set date and time. Anytime it comes up, you repeat some lovely mantra or phrase that works for you. Mine is " Put down the problem and step away! It's not to be touched until ____"

My timetable here is not reliant on me. But I am not going to address the issue before April 20. If it's forced prior to that, I'll cross that bridge then.