40 hours left - tick tock tick tock

I must confess I'm more excited about seeing my friends traveling down for this gig than I am about singing......

Well that's not entirely true. I am excited about singing this program. It's agressive I realize that. I'm a little bit afraid of it, I acknowledge that. But nervous? Not yet.

Not yet.

I am refusing to even consider the option until I am physically at the church on Sunday. Just not even giving myself up to the option.

My mental condition on this is actually quite good. The reality on my brother is, he hates classical music - and Opera???? YEEESH!!!!! The only classical music he really knows he learned frm cartoons. He'll tell you that. I'm disappointed in his decision based on our past together and now that things are better between us, I expected more. Maybe that's unreasonable - I don't know. There's some logic in my responses though. I just think that its rude to have one thin on the calendar and decide to do something else at the last second because you got a better offer. But that's me.

I'll be over that part shortly. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to take 24 hours to react, reflect and then shelve.

I had my last meal with dairy in it until Sunday Night. I took some mucinex and my allergy pllls, and had a hot bath. I have a formal event to attend Saturday night, but I won't be drinking and I will be leaving early. I am going to support the guest of honor as he is super person who supported my team and I through an entire year.

I do not have a lesson tomorrow which is OK - I have had 2 this week already. I have to arrange my music in my folder ( yes it's not ALL memorized - 14 tunes are you kidding me?). I need to steam my dress for both Saturday and Sunday. My dress for the recital is really pretty and I feel like a performer when I wear it. Basic Black - sheer sleeves to the wrist. I love it.

I am now at the point where I am looking forward to this gig. This is the only time in my life I have done an hour all by myself. I'm sure I will be unnerved later but right now other than excitement, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I also feel in my heart how proud my dad would be if he were here in person. But I already know he's with me in spirit. I find it funny that my dad passed away and suddenly I discovered my "real" voice. I wonder if he stuck my vocal lchords from heaven with his his own talent? That was his calling after all.... he was an amazing tenor. I just think it's ironic in the timing.

So with that I sign off to go to bed and I get to sleep in!!!!!!!