The week is over.
I can safely tell you that I have no idea where it went. Honestly.
days ran into each other, the line from one day to the next blending so specifically that I have no clue what day it was.
It was an odd feeling to know that I didn't actually LEAVE the house until Wednesday evening.
I had a slightly better day today, for two reasons. My old boss, the one I adore, stopped bashing me publicly all week and started helping me out. All is not forgiven yet, but much of it is.
The second reason is it's Friday. My housekeeper was here. I warned her up front that criticism will not be appreciated today. That didn't stop her, but it did make her understand when I snapped at her. She had the stupidity to criticize how I take care of my roses. THEY JUST GOT DELIVERED THIS AFTERNOON!!!!!!!!!! What the hell???? So when she was done, I asked her if there was anything else that I wasn't doing correctly that she needed to advise me on. She laughed and apologized and said that it was clearly not my week.
My groceries were delivered and my favorite ice cream was in there. I smiled and dreamed about that until I couldn't stand it anymore and ate it for dinner. Yum
I got a lot done today. IN fact I got a lot done this week. despite the fact that no one will give me the database that I need to true up my data against. I don't want to hear it when stuff is missing. seriously I don't.
I had to advise my PM to stop allowing the mudslinging on calls. Its not productive and it tears the fabric of the team apart.
Then I noticed the fruit flies. Loads and loads and loads of them.
I hate bugs. All bugs. well - not lady bugs. But generally all bugs.
Don't misunderstand - I'm not afraid of any of them I just hate them.
I spoke to the exterminating company that's on retainer for my condo. They don't treat for fruit flies. Why you may ask?
They have a lifespan of less than 4 hours. However they multiply like wildfire. So the trick is to not let them land for too long as that is supposedly when they mate. I find it hard to believe however I am not an expert on fruit flies.
In lieu of bug spray, I used oust. When I ran out of that ( not the best choiice by the way), I went to windex. it worked for the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding so why not?
Seriously it worked. They like to land on mirrors and glass so you can kill two birds with one stone. You can clean the glass and kill the bugs all at once!
I took an almost sadistic pleasure in killing them off. I figure as long as I force the numbers down, I figure the rest will die the slow death that I have been promised.
It's the end of the week. I really needed to spend time with my best friend and he needed to spend time with me. It was just not an option this week. Though we tried. Hard.
I have a technique that I use for weight watchers a lot. It's called Mental Rehearsal.
I use it for more than just weight loss though. I find that when I need to have conversations that are very important, I use that technique. When I need to do anything difficult, I use mental rehearsal. It helps me to guide the outcome in a way that is respectful and beneficial to all parties.
I was rehearsing a conversation that I was going to have with a family member regarding the situation with my best friend. really - truly - it's not their business. However, given the fact that it's taken some affects on me, a small explanation may be necessary. I haven't officially decided whether to do it or not. But one of the comments that came into my mind during the mental rehearsal was that we are fighting to stay in each other's lives.
Isn't that an interesting line. Fighting to stay in each other's lives. In effect fighting to stay together. When people have found their soul mates, its very hard to walk away. There is a connection and it doesn't go away. even when you walk away. It's true.
I know. Because I've done it. And I tried to do it a second time. And I havenn't been successful because there is wisdom that comes with age. Not just for me. He is fighting to keep me too. Flattering - hell yes. Realistic? don't know yet.
The minute that we get him a job and working full time again, his life will change.
And so will mine. I can roll with this punch too, but come on. You guys KNOW I hate change.
I am just afraid that this change will be the thing that changes US. Now yes, that can be for the good OR the bad. Because I tend to be unlucky in love, I tend to be a little pessismistic and don't think that the change will be for the good.
I am reminded of my mom. She wouldn't marry my step dad right away. She was afraid that marriage would change their relationship. They lived together for years. She finally married him and they are still married. And happy. she calls him her prince charming.
But such is my love for him that I need him to be happy. And he's not. It has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with his situation with his brother. I need him to be settled and happy. It's that important to me that this happen soon. And if it comes to pass that we fall apart, I will deal with the loss of color. And if he gets his act together and we change for the better, then the color will just explode further in my life and that will be wonderful.
And thus ends my last day in the week from hell. I wish I could have high hopes for next week, but alas, I do not. My leader comes back from vacation and he's going to make this whole exec escalation worse by talking me to death while I try to get work done. I am not planning to do another week like this.
It is officially the weekend and this time is my time.
MY TIME.
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