Decompression

I saw Harry Potter on Wednesday Night with my Voice Twin.

So, I won't ruin for those of you who haven't seen it.

About 2 hours into the film, the battery on my cellphone which was on vibrate went on low and it started to beep.

Thse days, in light of everything going on, I don't turn it off, I turn it down.

Being polite to the other movie-goers. I did turn it off though.

After the movie was over, We were walking to the cars and discussing the movie. I looked at moon. As I was doing so, I was turning my phone on and hearing the voicemail chirp.

I KNEW somehing was not as it should be. I knew when I looked at the moon, I had a tug at my subconscious and the pit of my stomach was feeling really hollow.... although I might have been hungry....

As we were saying goodnight, I turned to walk to the car and nearly walked into a sapling. You see? I'm already distracted I KNOW who the voice mail is from.

I check my voicemail after I get in the car, and I was right. it was my best friend.

I called him back and he tells me he is leaving there at 10 and is it OK if he comes over.

I told him it was fine. I came home, picked up a bit and prepped a drink for him.

He walked in a little after 10:30 annd wraps his arms aroung me in a bear hug that lasted a few minutes. He says into my hair, "Thanks for letting me come by so late"

I hand him his drink and we settle on opposte sides of the couch. Room for at least one other body between us. We put on Boogie Nights as I haven't seen it, and he says

" I need to be in a safe place to decompress a bit, is that OK?"
" Of Course it's fine. I"m on vacation this week, so it's not like I have anything to get up for in the morning." I say
" Oh that's right, I forgot! "

So we watch the movie, talking through it as we are prone to do. We discuss some very personal choices in our past, things like cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, that kind of thing. We talk about some our past loves. General things.

He is spending an awful lot of time finding excuses to touch me. He finally reaches over and takes my hand. We sit like that for awhile. Very comfortable.

By the end of the movie we are lying together on the couch. Just holding each other while we watch the next movie.

It wasn't sexual. It could have easily gone that route, but he was exhausted. And he just needed to hold someone and be held. Someone that he loves and trusts.

At 3AM, I got up to go to bed. I offered him to come in with me and he said he would be in shortly. At 4:30, I woke up, and found him out cold on the couch. I covered him up with a blanket and went back to bed.

I awoke aroung 6, he was still sleeping. I went back to bed. I woke at 7:45 and he had gotten up and left.

Please remember a few months ago when I mentioned that I can only look good next to the whore.

I also want you to think about this. I did, long and hard.

When you are in a situation like this, dying parent, spouse, sibling, grand parent etc, and you are directly involved with being a caretaker, you have a tendancy to rely on the person you love most in the world to be your entire support system.

So the question is:

Why come to me and not go to the whore?

Ah - you see?

I KNOW the answer.

So does he.

And so do you.